relationship with sex offender

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Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 5:28 pm

relationship with sex offender

Postby B17630H » Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:59 pm

Hi, I am in desperate need of help.
I have been charged with downloading sometime in the past 8 indecent images of children. I was in a relationship with a woman with 2 children from another partner. Children's services have banned her from contacting me or being in a relationship with me with threats of taking her children. Currently the children are not involved with me. Is there anything we can do to maintain our relationship away from the children. My partner also suffers from some mental health issues. I fully realise what I did was wrong but it was a long time ago. I don't see why two consenting adults should not be able to see each other.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: relationship with sex offender

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Jun 30, 2017 4:44 pm

Dear B17630H

Welcome to the board and thank you for your post.

You say that Children’s Services have banned your partner from having a relationship with you and threaten to remove the children should she continue a relationship with you. You ask what you can do to continue your relationship but I am unable to give you a purposeful response without knowing the answer to the following questions.

1) Has a risk assessment been carried out?
2) Are you on the sex offender’s register?
3) Are your partner’s children on a child in need plan or a child protection plan?

The Lucy Faithfull Foundation may be able to give you some advice and you may find our advice sheet about child protection procedures useful too. If you would prefer to speak to us, please call our confidential helpline on 0808 801 0366, lines are open Monday to Friday, 9.30am-3.00pm.

I look forward to your response.

Best wishes


Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 5:28 pm

Re: relationship with sex offender

Postby B17630H » Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:14 pm

Hi Suzie thank you for your reply, in answer to your question.
I have yet to undergo a risk assessment.
I will be on the sor for either 2 or 5 years
Her children have been moved from child protection to child in need as I don't have any contact with them and am happy for that to continue. Our relationship is conducted away from the kids. Is there any hope for the future. Especially seeing as my partner suffers with mental health issues. ?


****Amended by Suzie to comply with rules about confidentiality.

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Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2016 2:39 am

IRe: relationship with sex offender

Postby Chancing » Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:59 am

Having been in a very similar situation myself I can tell you very little YOU do will make a difference to wether you are able to continue your relationship.

It will all come down to your partner and wether the Child welfare believe she is capable of protecting her children.
The best thing she can do is contact Lucy Faithful and make herself aware of the risks and warning signs of abuse.
I have already written a post about interacting successfully with child welfare. Maybe take a look through it.
My partners offences were serious and he received a custodial sentence. However it did not involve minors.
But I have children that are of the age he and his victim weresat the time of the offence. So Children's welfare was actively involved.
It may be that it comes to nothing, but better be prepared than always on the back foot.

If your partner has significant mental health issues she may be considered a vulnerable adult, in which case it's even more important she is able to prove autonomy and clear judgement with regards to you and her children.

Good luck and all the best.

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