Should I complain?

[Har1Her1]

Hello,

I attended a Child Protection Review yesterday. I was a little upset prior to the Review because my son's mental health has broken down a little and I knew representatives from his college, who were also attending the Review, would recommend that he did not return to his course this year. I have explained our situation in many other posts.

However, as the Review progressed, it was stated that 'I had set my son up to fail' because there should have been a lengthy transition before his placement at college; he should have had an up to date EHC plan; the college should have been aware of the serious safeguarding issues surrounding my son (he was arrested in July and placed under Section in a CAMHS unit. He is now discharged from the unit, has no Section and stays at the unit only because he has no accommodation). Further comments were made such as 'the problem with you is that you think you know all about (local Authority) procedures but you don't', 'you put your own needs (for your son to have some education) before his', 'you are unco-operative', 'you always chip in when other people are speaking'...

I was told that I should stop trying to control things and let my son's social worker lead the Plans. The Chair suggested that since, I had delayed asking for a referral to CAMHS for my youngest son, his social worker should come with us to the GP appointment I had arranged to discuss my son's anxiety to make sure 'the truth was told' and I did not 'minimize' his behaviour.

I became very upset because I was confused and so guilty that I had possibly caused my son such distress. So I left the meeting early.

When I got home I just checked my e-mails and diary to assure myself that i had contacted people. I found a message to the Assessment and Review Officer of the LA SEN team advising her that my son was considering making an application to college. Her response was that she was delighted he was feeling better and we should go ahead with the application. Another message and a record of a phone call indicated that I informed her again when he was accepted on the course and requested she contacted the Head of Additional Learning Support for matters pertaining to his support and EHCP.

I found messages asking my son's social worker, who is leading the CPP, if she would provide a reference for my son, when he applied. I have a copy of the reference which contains no reference at all to Safeguarding issues
but rather notes that he has problems with anxiety and needs a supportive person to talk to and a quiet place to go to when he feels stressed.

I have a message from my son's social worker which states how positive it is that my son is enjoying college.

I found messages about transport arrangements to the LA SEN Team once my son began attending college.

Yet, representatives from the college said the EHCplan was grossly out of date and inadequate because it gave little indication of my son's needs.

The hostility at the Review meeting towards me was something I have never experienced before and, because I was so upset anyway, I broke down. However, on reflection there were so many occasions upon which the LA could have and should have intervened to support my son. In my opinion:

There should have been an Emergency EHCp review involving all relevant agencies as soon as my son was offered a place at college.

The social worker should have informed the college Safeguarding Team of the previous police involvement, the ongoing case of alleged sexual abuse (in which my son was the alleged victim) and his status as homeless and living in a CAMHS unit.

His current support and care plans from CAMHS should have been forwarded as a matter of urgency.

I am convinced these are the responsibilities of the Local Authority for a vulnerable young person who is on Child Protection plan and has SEN... but maybe I should have done all this.

I want to know if I should complain or just accept that I made a few mistakes and the agencies who are supposed to protect and support mys son have really done nothing wrong.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Har1Her1

I am so sorry that your attendance at the child protection review conference was so upsetting for you.

From your post it is obvious that you were made to feel guilty about the way you have tried to help and support your son. Perhaps, the words used by the professionals at the conference could have been kinder.

You have set out in your post all that you did prior to your son attending college. I think it would be helpful for you to make sure all the professionals at the review conference have a clear picture of what you did and the help you sought. I suggest that you prepare a chronological (in date order) note of the action you took and who you sought assistance from and the response you received. Once you have done this, I think you should ensure that the Chair of the conference receive a copy and ask for it to be circulated to the other professionals and placed on the case file. In this way, there will be record which you consider reflect the correct situation.

Regarding whether you should make a complaint, I think this is a decision that you have to make. Ask to have a meeting with the social worker and team manager to discuss how you felt the review went and why you do not agree with the comments made about you in respect of your son. If you are not satisfied with the outcome of the meeting, you can make a formal complaint if you believe the social worker and other professional at the review conference were unfair or unprofessional in the way review was handled. I think you may already received have a copy of our advice sheet about challenging decisions and making complaints but a further copy is here here for your information. The advice sheet give a lot of information about the process and how to go about making a complaint.

Please also read our frequently asked questions (FAQs) here for more information.

I hope this is helpful but please do telephone our advice line if you wish to speak to an adviser. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Har1Her1]

Thank you for your reply. It is helpful.

I really do have a problem with accepting what is happening. Both my children are under Child protection Plans. My eldest's plan is for 'emotional abuse' and sexual abuse' and my youngest child's plan is under the category of 'emotional abuse'.

I cared for both my children for sixteen years, as well as working full time, and I worked passionately with agencies such as CAMHS and Autism Outreach to get my sons the help they needed. Last year, my son alleged emotional abuse from his father (my husband) and emotional and sexual abuse from his younger brother (my youngest son). After a difficult time with Children's social Care who wanted me to protect my eldest son at home (an impossible task, given our situation at the time), I moved with my eldest to a place of safety and then established our own home. My youngest son continued to live with his father (who was unstable) and eventually, his father (my husband) gave up his lodgings and my youngest had nowhere to go. I gave him a room in our house and worked with agencies (Prevention and CAMHS) for support with the situation.

However, my eldest ran away and I made the mistake of going out to look for him rather than phoning the police because the police were going to arrest my son due to entries he had written in a diary (disclosed to the police by the Prevention worker). As a result, my son was arrested, eventually Sectioned and is now lodging at a CAMHS unit until accommodation can be found.

The problem is, at no time have I ever abused my children! I have never even sworn at them and I have, and continue to do everything I can to try to meet their needs and find provision for them.

Yet I am accused of: denying them opportunities; not working with agencies; putting my own needs before my children's; underplaying their behaviour; being controlled by my youngest; failure to supervise and so on and so on.

I have read and re-read the criteria for emotional abuse and neglect and in no way can I see how it applies to me with respect to my children. Rather, I see a real absence of support and provision for our family when we most needed it.

I have just lodged another formal complaint and, I should imagine, it will be resolved at local level. I know it won't help my case, but definite lies have been told. Yet the worst lie is that I am an abuser. I just cannot and will not accept that label.

I could almost compromise if the local authority could or would do something to help my children, but they remain essentially without education and my eldest is basically homeless. When I suggest things all I hear is 'funding' and 'resources'.

How can I challenge all this?

[Chancing]

Just a quick question, have you taken any of this up with your MP? I had a very difficult time at one point and it took my MP's intervention to get things moving.
I will admitt I don't know just how effective this might be in your case but I thought you could maybe look into it.