My wife has taken my child.

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Ande
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2016 1:12 pm

My wife has taken my child.

Post by Ande » Mon Oct 17, 2016 7:59 pm

My wife has taken my 11 month old child a five weeks ago, and she is not replying to any of my calls and messages. After she she left our marital home ,she made an accusation against me of mental abuse to the social services , and told relatives of hers that she is not coming back. The children services are involved to investigate her claims, and I was told by the children services that they are doing assessment on her claims in the next two weeks. In the mean time I was not able to see my child and I am worried and distressed by it all. There is not a shred of truth in the accusation, and no body is contacting me either to hear my side of story. By baby first birthday is coming soon, and I am worried I will not be able to see him then. What are my options at least to go and see my baby.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: My wife has taken my child.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:42 am

Dear Ande,

I am sorry to hear about children services involvement with your baby due to allegations of abuse against you.

Children services are carrying out an assessment but you are not allowed to see your child until the assessment has been completed.
No one has yet contacted you as part of the assessment to hear your views. You are worried that you are being ignored. Here are FAQ’s for fathers

You ask about going to see your baby anyway, behind children services back. I would strongly advise you against doing this. They might decide that you and mum are not cooperating with the assessment and putting your baby at risk of emotional harm by witnessing the mental abuse which might increase children services intervention to a child protection level.


Assessments can take up to 9 weeks to complete and until children services know more-they have to assume the worse that you could be harmful to mum and so baby. But your view on things as well as your parenting capacity as dad should certainly be assessed as well. The assessment cannot be one sided.

When these type of allegations are made (which may be considered as domestic abuse,) children services will want to assess how safe you are, before contact takes place.
Even then, contact between you and your son might first of all, be supervised either in a contact centre or by a family member or friend who will be assessed to protect your baby.
If children services assess that you have been abusive, they may want you to go on a course to help you learn to improve your behaviour.
To find out more about courses and to discuss whether or not your interaction with mum was “mental abuse” you could discuss what has happened in confidence with an advisor at Respect. .


I also suggest that as soon as you can, you email the social worker and his/her manager and let them know that:
• You will cooperate with the assessment.
• That you are very keen to have contact with your son and why it is in your son’s best interest to see you. (that he likes playing with you, that you were involved in caring for him etc).
• If you have any extended family who could be assessed by a social worker to supervise contact, pass their details to the social worker and ask whether they can be assessed.

Children service might suggest that you go to court for a contact/child arrangements order.

To get private law advice about this you could contact Families Need Fathers or Coram Children’s Legal Centre .

I hope this helps but if you have any questions please post back or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Ande
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2016 1:12 pm

Re: My wife has taken my child.

Post by Ande » Thu Oct 20, 2016 8:47 pm

Thanks Suzie,

Fantastic help and advice, I contacted the children services that I am very keen to cooperate and I am very keen to see my baby and to do whatever necessary. So far no one contacted me to hear my side of the story, but I am just waiting patiently for that to happen.

Regards,

Ande

Ande
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2016 1:12 pm

Re: My wife has taken my child.

Post by Ande » Mon Oct 24, 2016 8:12 pm

Hi Suzie,

I received a call from the children services to say that the case is closed, and there is no case to answer .
But that still leave me with the same problem, and that is I can not see my child in the near future. No body knows where she is living and she cut all her phone line and social media sites. What is next course of action to be able to see my 11 month old baby. Any advice will be appreciated.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: My wife has taken my child.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Oct 26, 2016 11:17 am

Hi Ande,

You will need to seek a Child Arrangements Order for contact.
The court can order that your court application could be sent to mum via the local authority or some government organisation such as the department of work and pensions who have addresses for most people. So you don’t need to know mums address. Mum could also apply for an order to keep her address confidential.

Unfortunately, I cannot offer you more advice about the process as private law proceedings are not within Family Rights Group remit.

Instead, you could instruct a solicitor, ask for advice from family need fathers or Coram Children’s Legal Centre. The Advice Now website is very helpful as well.

Best wishes,

Suzie

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