Whats really wrong with this picture?

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MYKIDSNOTYOURS
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:36 pm

Whats really wrong with this picture?

Post by MYKIDSNOTYOURS » Thu Jul 28, 2016 12:47 pm

My two teenage Daughters have both had a lot of difficulties the main one being Anxieties they are afraid of what their peers think to a degree that i never had when a teenager the pressures to fit in and be accepted at school are tremendous.
They feel judgment from the teachers at school and tremendous pressure to perform up to the standards set for them schoolasticly and they sometimes cant cope.
My neighbour is from a very dark place shes a troublemaker and when my teenagers scream from time to time because they are having a hard time with the pressures that the world is putting onto them my neighbour then calls the police I've gotten to the point where if the police do come to the door i tell them we were singing to music and we got too loud.
My social worker calls me after the neighbours made her report to tell me that I'm wrong because my children are unhappy so surely it must be because I'm doing something wrong.

Har1Her1
Posts: 78
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 9:59 am

Re: Whats really wrong with this picture?

Post by Har1Her1 » Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:44 pm

Hello,


My eldest screams. He is 17 and the screams are terrible to hear. He screams through anxiety and because he has mental ill health. Fortunately we have a very understanding neighbour. My social worker heard my eldest scream in December last year. On reflection, I was glad the SW heard my son scream because the sound alone let him know that this was not just teenage angst, my son was terrified (mainly due to the effects of his mental illness).

I think a social worker should know that here is no such thing as a 'typical' family and you sound like you are doing a fantastic job with your girls despite their overwhelming anxiety. Are your daughters getting help from CAMHS or support from school?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4207
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Whats really wrong with this picture?

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:35 pm

Dear MYKIDSNOTYOURS

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

It appears from your various posts that you have had what you consider to be unwelcome involvement with children services regarding your children.

You have not made it clear in post whether children services is carrying out any sort of assessment of your family at the moment in respect of the referral(s) that have been made to them. Normally, if children services receive a referral regarding children they have a duty to investigate and make a decision regarding what further steps, if necessary, should be taken. A copy of our advice sheet relating to this is here for your further information.

Also, you should note that children services as well as other professionals involved with children have a legal duty to safeguard children and ensure that the appropriate steps are taken to ensure they are living in a safe environment. You say that you daughters have anxiety problems and I wonder whether they receiving the support they might need to help them. Children services could carry out a child in need assessment (which you can also request yourself) in order to assess the specific needs your daughters have and make referral for support for example CAMHS or other therapeutic input. Please read our advice sheet about family support .

You have been given some helpful hints by Har1Her1 in her post to you. It is important that you try to work and cooperate with children services in order to have the best outcome. Your daughters are teenagers and the social worker should be taking into account their wishes and feelings in the decision making process. The social worker should take account of all children’s wishes and feelings irrespective of age.

Have you tried discussing your concerns with the person responsible for safeguarding/pastoral care at your daughters’ school? It might be helpful if you can work in partnership with the school to ensure that they get the help they need from the school.

If you are finding it difficult to work with the social worker, I suggest that you ask for a meeting with the team manager so that you can express the concerns you have in the hope that there can be a better working relationship.

I am including here a copy of our advice sheet relating to child protection enquiries if children services are going down this route in respect to the referral they have received. Children services will be concerned if, as you say in your post, you say hurtful things to your daughter. This could be seen as emotional abuse because of the impact it could have on her. If she already has anxiety issues it might not be helpful to have hurtful things being said to her by a parent.

Whilst I can understand your frustration with referrals being made to children services and the police being called, children services has a legal duty to follow up referrals. If you have concerns about how your case is being handled then you should put these in writing to the team manager and the head of children services so this can be looked at. It does not have to be formal complaint but if you do wish to consider this, then please read our advice sheet relating to complaints.

You have not asked any specific questions in your posts but I have tried to explain the duty children services has and the advice sheets I have included for you should provide you with more detailed information.

Should you wish to speak to adviser, please do call our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

I hope this is helpful

Best wishes

Suzie

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