Not getting angry or I have mental health problems says Social bully

[MYKIDSNOTYOURS]

I have made a lot of mistakes of getting angry at my Social Worker but it took me some time but I realized that if it causes a risk to my children and i because the power lies with the system and those that work for it then its a really stupid thing for me to do so I've begun telling my social worker that if I am upset i will need to leave the room or terminate a phone call but that i will not become angry.

[Har1Her1]

Hello,

I can appreciate exactly how you feel. I am afraid I have lost 'control' of my emotions from time to time when dealing with professionals such as social workers or the police. The fact is that these professionals tend to become involved with us and our families when we are in crisis and, often, part of their role is to make evaluations based on what they observe. Yet we live in a society where the dramatic expression of emotions is considered to be a sign of weakness so, unfortunately, we have to put on an act. These are some things that help me to act:

- Write down a list of questions that you would like the social worker to answer. You can hand these to her after introductions and then the meeting you have can have a little structure and you will not have to talk about really sensitive topics.

- Have one or two topics or pieces of information ready to relate to your social worker when s/he has sat down. I usually start by relating information from meetings with other professionals e.g. CAMHS or education. Relating this can put you in a position where you are leading the topics and controlling the subject matter to some extent.

- Enthuse or feed back about something the SW has asked you to try (even if you think it is a lot of rubbish). For example, I have had little discussions about setting boundaries and communication strategies.

- If possible, relate your children's views. The SW must take these on board and you will be sharing the information that is most central to his/her role.

- Do not make any spontaneous commitments or decisions. Sometimes we can feel pressured into agreeing to something when we are under stress. Say you would like to consider the option carefully and you get back to her.

- Remember that you want help for your family and the social worker should be working with you to attain that. Convince yourself that you are working in partnership with the local authority (even though it does not seem like it) and this can take away some of the fear.

I really hope things get better for you soon.