I am sorry to hear about the distressing circumstances that you face at the moment.
I understand that your children were placed under a full care order (giving the children services parental responsibility) but the original plan was for them to come home to live with you. This is unusual and shows how much work you must have done to address concerns. The Judge and children services were impressed with the effort you had put in-it had exceeded their expectations.
Unfortunately, over New Year, your son’s behaviour towards your baby was putting her at risk of suffering quite serious harm and you did the correct thing by calling children services for support. Your son was put into foster care. The plan now is for your son to move to long term foster care.
Have a look at our advice sheet about Duties to children in the care system
and contact with children in care
Further, your exe was violent to you in front of your baby putting her at further serious risk of suffering significant harm.
Again, you did the right thing by calling the police and pressing charges against him. You signed an agreement to say that you would not get back in a relationship with him. I am assuming that you are still sticking to the agreement?
Because of the risks that domestic violence causes children, it is likely that children’s services thought the situation was just too dangerous for your daughter. She had been placed at risk (through no fault of your own) on two separate occasions. Is this the reason did children services give?
Children services will be going back to court to ask that a placement order
is made so that your daughter can be placed for adoption. What can you do?
You need to know what might have gone wrong so that any problems can be addressed?
Are children services worried that you had not done enough to maintain a safe environment for your children? Ask your solicitor what you can do to change this.
Can you check the court judgement? It should set out what the worries were and why the threshold of significant harm
was met. The children’s guardian report will also identify any problems which you may be able to start addressing.
To discharge the care order in respect of both of your children, you would have to show that there has been a “substantial change in circumstances” since the care order has been made and that it is in the welfare of your children.
What further can you do to address any issue in the judgement?
You could speak to Women’s Aid
about what resources are available in your area to help you avoid further abusive partners, counselling that you could access. You mention the triple P course. Can you attend another parenting course? What else does the judgment mention?
Was there any suitable family or friends (connected persons)
available to care for your daughter? Were they approached and assessed by children services? Did a Family Group Conference take place? Adoption should be a last resort.
I have only touched on some points. Please post back or to discuss in depth, you could always call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.