Too late to discharge care order?
Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2018 7:13 pm
My children have been in long term foster care for 6 and a half years. My eldest son returned home to live with me 2 years ago.
In the past 6 and a half years there have been so many changes. I passed an assessment for looking after my son. I passed an assessment through a different authority to be a joint carer for my partners children who are also classed as looked after. My children's local authority gave a positive reference for me to ensure I was allowed, stating that I am a good parent and not a danger.
I have done parenting courses, healthy minds therapy and c.b.t.
I have a new home, am financially stable, have a secure and very responsible career, have completed numerous courses including diplomas in care for people with disabilities (all of my children have different diagnosis of developmental and physical disabilities). I have always worked really well with the local authority, have attended every contact and had nothing but positive reports from the contact workers. The only negatives are once a few years ago a foster carer said she felt the Christmas contact got a bit loud, and recently the social worker supervised a contact; this contact was unusual, with exceptional circumstances but the children were still quite well behaved.
Despite all of this, neither myself or my family are allowed unsupervised contacts. My daughter is still not allow to bring me even though she says she wants to and social services have been agreeing for years that she can. Her carer apparently tells her she doesn't have my number.
My eldest is nearly 18. He has got to the point of not going to contact as he hates that he is being watched constantly and has even been told it's inappropriate to hug his siblings as they are all too old for this now. My older daughter keeps getting upset and asking why she can't see him in normal places like going to the cinema or shopping with him. But the social worker says she doesn't want to see him outside. Due to her autism she lives in the moment so when her lac officer sees her and asks if everything is ok and does anything need changed she says everything is fine, because it is at that moment.
I've had meeting and emailed. I've asked them for their concerns in writing but have had no response from them so far. Recently at a meeting it was said the social workers would speak to foster carers about bringing the children to my sister's 40th birthday but when it came close to the day they denied they had said it. They agreed that for my son's 18th they would change the contact date. They again denied it, but after I challenged them they said they have no availability so won't consider changing the date or time so they know he won't attend.
They agreed that this year we can have a full family contact where we all go out for a Xmas meal but today said it's not happening. When I phoned the social worker they said my parents didn't want to don't and had chose to not see the children until the new year. My mum said this wasn't the case, they had been told that if they want to have joint contact it would have to be during mine, in a small room in the contact centre which my parents thought was unfair on me and impractical to have 11 people in a tiny room with only 4 chairs.
Anyway the point of this is; I want to get unsupervised contact; I don't wish to disrupt the placements as much as I want the children home because my daughter is due to do gcses, my son will be starting gcses next year and my youngest daughter due to move to seniors, and as I only currently have a 2 bedroom property with a view to buying a bigger place next year; I would like my children to have visits home and normal family life. I am planning to go to court next year to look at discharging the care orders if it isn't too late. I am aware it is an obligation for the local authority to consider discharging care orders but as they haven't considered this in 6 years it feels like court might be my only option.
Any advice would be very welcome
In the past 6 and a half years there have been so many changes. I passed an assessment for looking after my son. I passed an assessment through a different authority to be a joint carer for my partners children who are also classed as looked after. My children's local authority gave a positive reference for me to ensure I was allowed, stating that I am a good parent and not a danger.
I have done parenting courses, healthy minds therapy and c.b.t.
I have a new home, am financially stable, have a secure and very responsible career, have completed numerous courses including diplomas in care for people with disabilities (all of my children have different diagnosis of developmental and physical disabilities). I have always worked really well with the local authority, have attended every contact and had nothing but positive reports from the contact workers. The only negatives are once a few years ago a foster carer said she felt the Christmas contact got a bit loud, and recently the social worker supervised a contact; this contact was unusual, with exceptional circumstances but the children were still quite well behaved.
Despite all of this, neither myself or my family are allowed unsupervised contacts. My daughter is still not allow to bring me even though she says she wants to and social services have been agreeing for years that she can. Her carer apparently tells her she doesn't have my number.
My eldest is nearly 18. He has got to the point of not going to contact as he hates that he is being watched constantly and has even been told it's inappropriate to hug his siblings as they are all too old for this now. My older daughter keeps getting upset and asking why she can't see him in normal places like going to the cinema or shopping with him. But the social worker says she doesn't want to see him outside. Due to her autism she lives in the moment so when her lac officer sees her and asks if everything is ok and does anything need changed she says everything is fine, because it is at that moment.
I've had meeting and emailed. I've asked them for their concerns in writing but have had no response from them so far. Recently at a meeting it was said the social workers would speak to foster carers about bringing the children to my sister's 40th birthday but when it came close to the day they denied they had said it. They agreed that for my son's 18th they would change the contact date. They again denied it, but after I challenged them they said they have no availability so won't consider changing the date or time so they know he won't attend.
They agreed that this year we can have a full family contact where we all go out for a Xmas meal but today said it's not happening. When I phoned the social worker they said my parents didn't want to don't and had chose to not see the children until the new year. My mum said this wasn't the case, they had been told that if they want to have joint contact it would have to be during mine, in a small room in the contact centre which my parents thought was unfair on me and impractical to have 11 people in a tiny room with only 4 chairs.
Anyway the point of this is; I want to get unsupervised contact; I don't wish to disrupt the placements as much as I want the children home because my daughter is due to do gcses, my son will be starting gcses next year and my youngest daughter due to move to seniors, and as I only currently have a 2 bedroom property with a view to buying a bigger place next year; I would like my children to have visits home and normal family life. I am planning to go to court next year to look at discharging the care orders if it isn't too late. I am aware it is an obligation for the local authority to consider discharging care orders but as they haven't considered this in 6 years it feels like court might be my only option.
Any advice would be very welcome