Ex partner in relationship with a sex offender

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Ex partner in relationship with a sex offender

Post by Blandford » Tue Feb 05, 2019 6:16 pm

My ex partner is in a relation ship with a convicted sex offender who served two years in prison for sex with an underage girl.

Can anyone offer any advice as I am at a total loss on what to do.

The whole situation is quite a long story.

Her new partner who she is talking about moving in with her and my 11 year old daughter (account according to my ex) is a 27 year old who served 2 years of a 4 year sentence for sex with and grooming a 15 year old girl. Sex between people of thst age doesn't initially seem. Like it would cause concern but they haven't long met and all I have to go on is what my partner is telling me and I'm slightly concerned she may not be telling me the whole truth. There are other factors at play.

The first is that my ex partner was abused as a child herself by an older Foster brother. This has kind of warped her view on child abuse as she would never say anything negative about her attacker or about peadophiles in general and always spoke about what happened with an almost romantic undertone. Which does make me concerned that this guys convictions almost make him more appealing. He told her on their first date and I would imagine at this point the majority of parents would turn and walk immediately? I know I would.

Secondly my daughter is 11 but over the last two years has shown an interest in sex. A friend told her to Google people ***** when she was 9 and since then we have had intermittent issues with her use of online chat rooms and alike. Including talking to boys of an age around 16/17 pretending to be the same age talking about sex. Not directly talking about actions and whenever they have asked for photos she has refused but I feel she is in a very vulnerable situation. My ex spoke to her new partner about this and when I suggested she used more tact she couldn't understand why talking to a convicted sex offender about that would cause concern.

At the moment myself and her mum have a healthy Co parenting relationship where we always talk about our daughter and seek to resolve issues together but I feel at the moment this is a dangerous situation she has put my daughter in. I'm worried that by being friendly I am neglecting opportunities to raise concerns but also if I keep raising concerns I won't be spoken to about anything and if something did happen I would be less aware because I've created a rift?

Can anyone offer any advice on how best to handle this? I'm. Really at a loss.

Thanks in advance.
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Thu Feb 07, 2019 2:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Moderated to comply with board rules

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Ex partner in relationship with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Feb 07, 2019 2:59 pm

Dear Blandford

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents discussion board. My name is Suzie, FRG's online adviser. You are worried about your 11 year old daughter.

In your post you have raised the following concerns:-

• That your ex-partner is in a relationship with a sex-offender

• That your ex-partner’s has a lack of understanding around the risk her partner may pose to your daughter

• Your daughter’s exposure to possible exploitation via chatrooms

• Your daughter’s exposure to a sex offender who has a past conviction for sex with a minor/grooming

• You reluctance in raising the issue which is based on the good relationship you currently have with your ex-partner

In your post you state you are seeking advice around what you should do next.

I would advise you to contact the local Children’s Services in the area where your daughter lives, highlighting fully the concerns you have raised in your post. You can do this in person by visiting your local Children’s Services’ office and requesting to speak to the duty social worker; you could also do this by telephone to Children's Services and asking to be put through to the duty social worker/social work team. You may also be able to do this online via a multi-agency referral form (MARF) which can usually be found on the Children’s Services website.

You can explain all the concerns that you currently have and express that you are worried that for all of those reasons your daughter might be at risk of significant harm. Children's Services will review this information and may undertake an assessment.

To understand a little more about what children's services should do in response to receiving information from, please take a look at our advice sheet An introductory guide to local authority children’s services (pages 5 to 6 in particular).

You may also find helpful information and advice from the following sources:

- The Children’s Society who provide practical advice for young people and their parents around protecting and preventing abuse.

- Parents Against Child Exploitation (PACE) . This organisation supports parent who are concerned that their child is at risk of exploitation. They can also be contacted on 0113 240 5226.

- The Lucy Faithfull Foundation who can offer practical support to parents and have a Freephone confidential helpline (0808 1000 900).

Lastly, you may also find it helpful to speak with an adviser at Family Rights Group, should you have any further questions. Please call our Freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon - Fri 9.30 am - 3.00 pm .

I hope I have been of some assistance.


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