Discharging a SGO

[Cieszek82]

Long post so apologies....
Has anyone ever represented themselves in court to discharge an SGO without the guardians permission? This is my only option. My mother has the SGO (granted 2014 because she failed the fostering assesment and I was abusing alcohol self medicating mental health issues) however since 2015 I've basically had shared care of my child (majority of time is spent in my care). I've also had a 2nd child since (2017) and had no involvement from ss since early this year. I believe the placement has broken down (numerous homes/partners/2 schools, change of sexual orientation then back again, the list goes on) however each time I've made first contact my claims are "unsubstantiated". My child is 7 now and I believe both my children are better off with me. (Since the sgo was granted I've completed an access to health course at college and was offered a place on a mental health nursing degree however That was put to the back burner when I fell pregnant with my 2nd child. Im in the same home, my mental heath is extremely stable and i no longer abuse alcohol.) That I can provide a more stable caring environment with which to nurture them. Just over that last couple of months my mother agreed privately with me to let my child come home and she would carry on claiming child benefits and share them with me (6 weeks my child was full time in my care) This financial agreement didn't happen and so I said I needed to make my own claim so in she come and removed my child however she is still allowing me 3 overnight contacts each week because there is no reason my child can't come home other than the fact the gaurdian is financially abusing my child. Obviously my 2nd child is almost 2 now and this whole situation is unwillingly starting to affect their life too. One minute my children live together the next they don't. I have a very strained relationship with my mother, my grandmother brought me up. Her withholding my child from me makes things worse. Any advise appreciated. TiA ☺

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Cieszek82

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that you are having a difficult time with your mother who has a special guardianship order (SGO) for your daughter.

You say you are already looking after your daughter for a lot of the time and although your mother agreed to share the child benefit with you whilst your daughter was staying with you this did not happen. As you have been able to address the issues in your life, in particular alcohol misuse, you now feel able to care for your two children.

In order to make an application to discharge the SGO you do not need your mother’s permission but you will need the permission of the court to make the application. It is also necessary to try agree through mediation before making the application. You would need to contact a family mediation service who would then contact your mother. She may or may not attend but you just need to show the court that you at least tried. The mediator would then be able to give you the appropriate form to send to the court with your application.

Your daughter has been with her grandmother for a significant period of time so the court will have to be satisfied that it is in her best interests for the order to be discharged. From what you say in your post you have spent a lot of time with your daughter, you have addressed your alcohol problem and you also have a child living with you. The court will require evidence of the changes you have made to address the concerns that led to your daughter being removed from your care in the first place.

It is important that you keep a diary of the contact that you have had with your daughter to show that you have a significant relationship even though she lives with her grandmother. This will also show that her grandmother does not think you are not able to care for her.

The court will decide on the evidence before it and will consider what you and your mother has to say. To assist in the decision making the court will ask for a report to be prepared by Cafcass or the local authority where the child lives so the court can have an independent voice on what is thought best for the child. Your daughter would also be asked about her wishes and feelings about both you and her grandmother and where she would like to live. The amount of weight given to her wishes will depend on her age and understanding.

Whilst you consider it important for your children to be together and this will be a factor for the court consider your daughter’s welfare when making its decision.

You may find it helpful to read our advice sheet Special Guardianship: what does it mean for birth parents?.

The court are quite used to having parents and others represent themselves so do not worry too much about doing this yourself. You will get the opportunity to write a statement to set out why you think you can safely care for your daughter. You will speak to the judge just as you would anyone else in your own way. There is no need for you to know any legal jargon just answer questions and say why you think its best for your daughter to live with you. You will be guided by the court in respect of procedure.

Should you wish to discuss your situation with an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie