do's and dont's from a social worker ?

Peacefull
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:17 pm

do's and dont's from a social worker ?

Postby Peacefull » Fri Aug 03, 2018 5:21 pm

I asked for help /advice from the *** child services after speaking to a church leader.
My partner is not a bad man .his parents problems cause him to drink .if he don't have any contact with his family he is great as a partner and dad to his children . But he has had a few occasions where his family have come round wanting to come in .but Child care services have said they must keep away to give my partner a chance.when they have caused a disturbance we keep the doors locked and ask them politely to go .. This is when he turns to drink. He has a lack of confidence
Child services have helped him a lot in with the given advice .
We had booked an holiday months before .Child services said they were not keen on us going as they couldn't put any safety plans in place .The social worker said we cannot stop you . But if you do we will remove the children . .
I explained that I have health issues which prevent me from lifting , plus diabetes , I am frightened to go on my own as I have hypo's .
I can go to sleep and my sugars read normal my partner checks my levels twice through the night .many times by 4 pm they have dropped to danger point .if I'm left I would go into a coma.
He gives me insulin after he has made sure I've had something to eat he takes care of me. I also do the driving and sometimes will have to pull in to the hard shoulder to do my insulin. My children are 6 and 10.
When we explained this to the social worker and said that if my partner didn't go the children couldn't have the much looked forward too holiday . she says "tough" maybe you shouldn't go. Or take some one else . ".
She knew We have booked in as a family .so sleeping arrangements are children's bunk beds and a double bed.
then she says" anyway this is my last day , I am taking a year's leave".
She had timed this meeting for two days before we were to drive down to *** Until then she kept saying I don't want to break up a family holiday , it's the last thing I want to do .
My partner had not had a drink for the last six weeks she has been involved in our family. I had agreed for them to get involved as I didn't know how to get him to stop therein .I knew something had to be done .the social worker has constantly said you have done everything right .
I phoned the social / child services another worker got up our files , she said there is nothing wrote down that he cannot go.and nothing whatsoever about taking the children away if you do go .

Hearing this and Having had the upset of our children we decided to go .
We are now getting to the end of the week away .my partner isn't interested in drinking .the holiday has done us all good .my husband is a new person ,so very relaxed .

We are now talking of moving eventually away from his family.

Do we have anything to fear from child services?
I thank you for any advice given.

***edited by Suzie to protect confidentiality.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: do's and dont's from a social worker ?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Aug 08, 2018 5:51 pm

Dear Peacefull,
Welcome to the Parents Board.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties in your family.

I can see that children services have provided support to your family around the difficult relationship dad has with his family and his drinking. Dad still lives with you and in fact he is your essential carer. He has been alcohol free for the last 6 weeks so things are hopefully improving for your family. The social worker is very positive about how you care for your children. You have worked well with her.
Is there a child protection plan or a child in need plan?

Your difficulty has been that the allocated social worker appears to have advised you by phone- not to go away on holiday with dad-in England- as they cannot put any safety plans in place. She said if you did, your children would be removed from you.

The social worker then left the local authority but nothing about this plan of removal was written on your children’s file.

Another social worker looked at the files and said there was nothing written down about removal so you went away on holiday.

You are now worried that your children will be removed from you when you return home.

It seems very unlikely that children services would take steps to start court proceedings to remove your children- on a telephone conversation.
Children cannot be removed from you unless you agree to them going into care or a court grants a court order.

A court would only grant an order in an emergency if there was evidence that your children were in imminent danger or at risk of serious harm. Is that the case? It doesn’t seem so, as dad who is a risk due to his drinking still lives with you with the full knowledge of children services.
When you are back at home, I suggest you contact children services as soon as you can to clarify things with them. You should also let your solicitor know what has happened.
If the social worker does talk about going to court, seek urgent legal advice from a solicitor who specialises in children law and who can represent you.
The Law Society –can help you find a solicitor.

I hope this helps but please post back if you have any questions or call our advice line for free and confidential legal advice on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie

Peacefull
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:17 pm

Re: do's and dont's from a social worker ?

Postby Peacefull » Sat Aug 18, 2018 3:13 pm

Thank you , the think is i cannot afford a social worker,I work part time ,my husband looks after the children when he is not drinking or a good friend who is on the support list helps out looking after the children .my wage only pays for the bills ....this way I'm keeping us out of debt .the rest of my wages go on food. I will buy good food for them and i seem to live on bread ,toast ,beans on toast etc . I don't really have savings . I'm still very worried .also I have uniforms to buy for children and i have to depend on a family member to help in this .I get no help from his parents at all .they do intact make the situation worse by causing trouble.then husband goes for a drink cos they have caused much stress .drinking h
Blocks it out for my husband.

Peacefull
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:17 pm

Re: do's and dont's from a social worker ?

Postby Peacefull » Sat Aug 18, 2018 3:16 pm

I should point out I refer to my partner as husband many a time but this is just because it helps him feel worthy.not useless as his family tell him he is.

Peacefull
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:17 pm

Re: do's and dont's from a social worker ?

Postby Peacefull » Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:05 pm

Hi Suzie they are in a child protection plan this was decided the time we had the last meeting before we went away when we were also told he could not go.it was after this particular meeting I phoned them .when they said nothing was written down .I worry that once they know he went they will add it on and backdated it. Ideally don't trust them.and I'm still worried . Being not of this country it's hard for me to follow and my partner now tells me that the other woman who said he could not go was indeed a judge.I'm very worried .but I still cannot see what he done wrong .he didn't have a drink.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: do's and dont's from a social worker ?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Aug 22, 2018 4:19 pm

Dear peacefull,

Thank you for posting back on the Parents Board.

You say your children are on a child protection plan. This means the child protection conference suspect that your children have suffered significant harm and/or are at an ongoing risk? Do you have a copy of the child protection plan? Do you understand it? Does it say anything about holidays?

Here are FAQ’s about child protection .
Because children services are worried about your children being harmed-due to witnessing your partners drinking, it is important to follow the plan. If there is something you cannot do on the plan-such as attend an appointment you need to let the social worker know.


You also say that your husband suggests that a judge (not a social worker) made the decision about him not going on holiday.

A judge would only be involved if there was court proceedings and judges work in courtrooms not children service offices. Are there court proceedings? If there are -you would be entitled to a legal aid (free) solicitor.
It is more likely, as you said in your first post-that a social worker has told you this. But if you are in any doubt-ask the social worker whether there are court proceedings.

You say that you are from a different country. Is English your second language? If so, did the social worker offer you an interpreter to help you understand? She should have done. If not, your social worker could be criticised. It is very important that you do understand what is written on a child protection plan so you can
If an interpreter might help-ask for one.

My advice I gave in my first post still stands. You need to let the new social worker know that you went on holiday. There should be a record of the telephone conversation on children services file. The person said there was nothing to say you could not go. I would have expected that person to have looked at the child protection plan-at least.

I hope this helps. If you need further advice, please post again or call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. Ask us to get you an interpreter, if this will help.

Best wishes,

Suzie


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