Dealing with Social Workers
Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 11:51 pm
Hi everyone,
I need some advice please.
My daughter 16 years old has got in the wrong crowd of friends and since the beginning of year 2017 she gradually changed, not for good tho.
She had a social life such as going out with friends during the day in cinema, shopping, lunch, sleepovers with only her best friends, going to some parties where we as parents would trust where is going to. Also having family time, going outs and abouts, holidays etc..
Anyway this wasn't good enough for her apparently, she started banking school, bringing friends (5-8) at my house, while we were at work and abusing alcohol, making my house a mess, furniture, making a mess, we noticed that even the neighbour told us later. Few friends she had, I wasn't happy about it but she still hang out with them.
She started having problems with some people her age on social media that we as parents weren't aware as she wasn't open about it. We had so much problems with our daughter for a year, every week from school/college had phone calls about her absence. We confronted her about all these and she apologised on and on until one day November last year again phone call from college saying that her absent is 50% and she might be kicked out of college. I was so disappointed with her after she lied to us. I had an argument with her and her attitude was apolling so I gave her a smack (lightly, no mark) and told her to go to her room. I do regret for smacking her but she pushed the wrong buttons. My partner came back from hard work that night and heard the same story again, never ending, therefore he told her off by shouting and told her to stay in your room coz we really had enough of your lies. Later that night my daughter called the police saying that she she is scare to stay home, that dad strungled her, took her down on the stairs, mum slapped me 5 times on my face and pulling my hair, all these stuff. Police didn't see any mark or anything like that but they still arrested my husband. They let him off the day after. I went for the interview and after 2 weeks of that we were clear. My daughter didn't want to come and stay with us, social services got involved. My son 12 saying that is my sister's fault coz she always bright problems at home, but social services don't listen to him, only her. She has made fallse allegation against us saying that she grew up in a bad childhood, mum is scared of dad, dad has bad things in life 20 years ago etc (bare that in mind she is only 16) how does she know?! If he did, he would have criminal records if us true.
S S don't believe a word what my son say, nor me and my husband. They believe her without any facts. School reports say that my kids have been always looked after, wellkept, excellent behaviour, very good progress in lessons. Dentis, Gp all up to date, don't know what else you need to prove to them. Neighbours have said this family is a very good family, no problems. We are working hard parents, I work with kids, so I know how to deal with kids.
They still believe her. Is a very long story so am trying to cut it short. My daughter lives somewhere 1/2hours away from here, with some strangers to us as parents, we don't know them, SS didn't take her there, she choose to go there. She isn't going to college or work, just studying for driving licence. I wonder who's paying for that and why? Isn't education more priority? Social workers say we can't force her to come home or attend education/work. They are only interfering for 4 months in our life concerned about my son while he is saying that am happy with family and they have seen him often so no worries. We have to attend meetings, as they put my daughter and son in child care plan. Just coz our daughter lied.
We are trying anything to cooperate for my daughter to come back home, but instead they just bring a pain. Now the people my daughter is living with are asking for "Child arrengment order". My husband and I refused to sign that, who told them to take my daughter in their house? Why? Who are they? Am worried coz they might have brainwashed her or I don't know, there is something strange about it. We have taken a solicitor to represent us coz they don't listen to our voice, so far 2 social workers have been changed, another one on the way, for what, my son is saying to them leave me alone coz you are disturbing me at school and home. first social worker have twisted stories in the past, the second one don't pass all information to us or to our daughter and this is causing problems. Soon we have the first review meeting after 3 moths since we had the first conference. We haven't seen our daughter 4months and she insists not to come home at all. I wonder why?
We are a solid family, will do anything for our kids, she knows that. She used to be a very good girl, I don't know her anymore, she doesn't sound the girl I gave birth to and raised her with love and care and to respect family. How can I get rid of SS they are taking over our life and don't care if our pain we have already but putting pressure o us even more. Any advice please
Thank you
I need some advice please.
My daughter 16 years old has got in the wrong crowd of friends and since the beginning of year 2017 she gradually changed, not for good tho.
She had a social life such as going out with friends during the day in cinema, shopping, lunch, sleepovers with only her best friends, going to some parties where we as parents would trust where is going to. Also having family time, going outs and abouts, holidays etc..
Anyway this wasn't good enough for her apparently, she started banking school, bringing friends (5-8) at my house, while we were at work and abusing alcohol, making my house a mess, furniture, making a mess, we noticed that even the neighbour told us later. Few friends she had, I wasn't happy about it but she still hang out with them.
She started having problems with some people her age on social media that we as parents weren't aware as she wasn't open about it. We had so much problems with our daughter for a year, every week from school/college had phone calls about her absence. We confronted her about all these and she apologised on and on until one day November last year again phone call from college saying that her absent is 50% and she might be kicked out of college. I was so disappointed with her after she lied to us. I had an argument with her and her attitude was apolling so I gave her a smack (lightly, no mark) and told her to go to her room. I do regret for smacking her but she pushed the wrong buttons. My partner came back from hard work that night and heard the same story again, never ending, therefore he told her off by shouting and told her to stay in your room coz we really had enough of your lies. Later that night my daughter called the police saying that she she is scare to stay home, that dad strungled her, took her down on the stairs, mum slapped me 5 times on my face and pulling my hair, all these stuff. Police didn't see any mark or anything like that but they still arrested my husband. They let him off the day after. I went for the interview and after 2 weeks of that we were clear. My daughter didn't want to come and stay with us, social services got involved. My son 12 saying that is my sister's fault coz she always bright problems at home, but social services don't listen to him, only her. She has made fallse allegation against us saying that she grew up in a bad childhood, mum is scared of dad, dad has bad things in life 20 years ago etc (bare that in mind she is only 16) how does she know?! If he did, he would have criminal records if us true.
S S don't believe a word what my son say, nor me and my husband. They believe her without any facts. School reports say that my kids have been always looked after, wellkept, excellent behaviour, very good progress in lessons. Dentis, Gp all up to date, don't know what else you need to prove to them. Neighbours have said this family is a very good family, no problems. We are working hard parents, I work with kids, so I know how to deal with kids.
They still believe her. Is a very long story so am trying to cut it short. My daughter lives somewhere 1/2hours away from here, with some strangers to us as parents, we don't know them, SS didn't take her there, she choose to go there. She isn't going to college or work, just studying for driving licence. I wonder who's paying for that and why? Isn't education more priority? Social workers say we can't force her to come home or attend education/work. They are only interfering for 4 months in our life concerned about my son while he is saying that am happy with family and they have seen him often so no worries. We have to attend meetings, as they put my daughter and son in child care plan. Just coz our daughter lied.
We are trying anything to cooperate for my daughter to come back home, but instead they just bring a pain. Now the people my daughter is living with are asking for "Child arrengment order". My husband and I refused to sign that, who told them to take my daughter in their house? Why? Who are they? Am worried coz they might have brainwashed her or I don't know, there is something strange about it. We have taken a solicitor to represent us coz they don't listen to our voice, so far 2 social workers have been changed, another one on the way, for what, my son is saying to them leave me alone coz you are disturbing me at school and home. first social worker have twisted stories in the past, the second one don't pass all information to us or to our daughter and this is causing problems. Soon we have the first review meeting after 3 moths since we had the first conference. We haven't seen our daughter 4months and she insists not to come home at all. I wonder why?
We are a solid family, will do anything for our kids, she knows that. She used to be a very good girl, I don't know her anymore, she doesn't sound the girl I gave birth to and raised her with love and care and to respect family. How can I get rid of SS they are taking over our life and don't care if our pain we have already but putting pressure o us even more. Any advice please
Thank you