Dealing with Social Workers

Lo123
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:41 pm

Dealing with Social Workers

Postby Lo123 » Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:50 am

Hi everyone,
I need some advice please.
My daughter 16 years old has got in the wrong crowd of friends and since the beginning of year 2017 she gradually changed, not for good tho.
She had a social life such as going out with friends during the day in cinema, shopping, lunch, sleepovers with only her best friends, going to some parties where we as parents would trust where is going to. Also having family time, going outs and abouts, holidays etc..
Anyway this wasn't good enough for her apparently, she started banking school, bringing friends (5-8) at my house, while we were at work and abusing alcohol, making my house a mess, furniture, making a mess, we noticed that even the neighbour told us later. Few friends she had, I wasn't happy about it but she still hang out with them.
She started having problems with some people her age on social media that we as parents weren't aware as she wasn't open about it. We had so much problems with our daughter for a year, every week from school/college had phone calls about her absence. We confronted her about all these and she apologised on and on until one day November last year again phone call from college saying that her absent is 50% and she might be kicked out of college. I was so disappointed with her after she lied to us. I had an argument with her and her attitude was apolling so I gave her a smack (lightly, no mark) and told her to go to her room. I do regret for smacking her but she pushed the wrong buttons. My partner came back from hard work that night and heard the same story again, never ending, therefore he told her off by shouting and told her to stay in your room coz we really had enough of your lies. Later that night my daughter called the police saying that she she is scare to stay home, that dad strungled her, took her down on the stairs, mum slapped me 5 times on my face and pulling my hair, all these stuff. Police didn't see any mark or anything like that but they still arrested my husband. They let him off the day after. I went for the interview and after 2 weeks of that we were clear. My daughter didn't want to come and stay with us, social services got involved. My son 12 saying that is my sister's fault coz she always bright problems at home, but social services don't listen to him, only her. She has made fallse allegation against us saying that she grew up in a bad childhood, mum is scared of dad, dad has bad things in life 20 years ago etc (bare that in mind she is only 16) how does she know?! If he did, he would have criminal records if us true.
S S don't believe a word what my son say, nor me and my husband. They believe her without any facts. School reports say that my kids have been always looked after, wellkept, excellent behaviour, very good progress in lessons. Dentis, Gp all up to date, don't know what else you need to prove to them. Neighbours have said this family is a very good family, no problems. We are working hard parents, I work with kids, so I know how to deal with kids.
They still believe her. Is a very long story so am trying to cut it short. My daughter lives somewhere 1/2hours away from here, with some strangers to us as parents, we don't know them, SS didn't take her there, she choose to go there. She isn't going to college or work, just studying for driving licence. I wonder who's paying for that and why? Isn't education more priority? Social workers say we can't force her to come home or attend education/work. They are only interfering for 4 months in our life concerned about my son while he is saying that am happy with family and they have seen him often so no worries. We have to attend meetings, as they put my daughter and son in child care plan. Just coz our daughter lied.
We are trying anything to cooperate for my daughter to come back home, but instead they just bring a pain. Now the people my daughter is living with are asking for "Child arrengment order". My husband and I refused to sign that, who told them to take my daughter in their house? Why? Who are they? Am worried coz they might have brainwashed her or I don't know, there is something strange about it. We have taken a solicitor to represent us coz they don't listen to our voice, so far 2 social workers have been changed, another one on the way, for what, my son is saying to them leave me alone coz you are disturbing me at school and home. first social worker have twisted stories in the past, the second one don't pass all information to us or to our daughter and this is causing problems. Soon we have the first review meeting after 3 moths since we had the first conference. We haven't seen our daughter 4months and she insists not to come home at all. I wonder why?
We are a solid family, will do anything for our kids, she knows that. She used to be a very good girl, I don't know her anymore, she doesn't sound the girl I gave birth to and raised her with love and care and to respect family. How can I get rid of SS they are taking over our life and don't care if our pain we have already but putting pressure o us even more. Any advice please
Thank you

Feel let down
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:09 pm

Re: Dealing with Social Workers

Postby Feel let down » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:35 am

I feel your pain with the involvement of ss they are nothing but liars that are out to ruin people's life's you can ask for a subject to access an make sure you ask for every record going running sheets ,daily logs,emails faxes an letters ,telephone messages anything that involves you an your daughter an between them involved I.e police ss under the data protection act they have to supply u with it within 40days my daughter suffers mental health problems she is 12 I had a support worker that was helping me with her as she refused school or to even leave house which then turned into Camhs visiting her for her mental health issues who then involved ss that have somehow turned my daughters mental health round to me being neglectful an sectioned 47me on there reports I was gobsmacked on how much lies they had made up an twisted things I said an even put things in report I never even said I had done everything I was asked off for them even took my daughter off role at school due to there advice an coz of her mental health then wham I emotionally neglecting her I haven't done anything they asked which I had an luckily noted everything down but still they said I haven't got the capacity to meet her needs where on earth do they get their bull sxit from I have told them I will record all conversations now due to the lies in the reports they not happy about it an told me it's illegal I looked into this an I can in fact record them in my own home as long as I tell them an make it clear I will not use it for any other purpose than this case I have researched ally about ss it seems to me they are the child abusers as they take away kids for sometimes no reason an cause them emotional distress an the families distress no matter what you do ss will get there own way but NOT this time after my child comes off protection I am going to try sue ss for the stress they have put me an my children under the lies they have told an the fact we have been mistreated it's all noted with doctors the amount of stress they have been putting me through I will not stop until I have won the rights of ss causing uneccessary stress they can't keep getting away with this

Lo123
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:41 pm

Re: Dealing with Social Workers

Postby Lo123 » Tue Mar 27, 2018 12:32 pm

Oh bless you, I can imagine. I think ss are not professionals, I think they are some people that have a simple certificate which anyone can get it. In my opinion professionals should understand everything not only by what is said, but also body language, facts etc.... and they aren't doing this. And thats why every 3 months they change the social worker. My son is 12 and that have put him a 3rd SW.... they have no concerns about him, well behaved child, doing well at school, he has said am happy with mum and dad and we do lots of good things as family and I don't want a SW, I need them to leave me alone as their distracting me from lessons or coming home for no reason while am fine. I told that to them but they won't listen. I said to them if you listen to my daughter (16) then must listen to my son (12), is against human rights what you doing. I even got the solicitor involved here but is s very long process.
I have all emails, letters, texts etc recorded. Now my kids are in child in need plan, but they sent me the plan at home written child protection plan instead of child in need plan. I wasn't happy coz that it can affect again in future and especially me as I work in school. I demanded that for an updated corrected one report. They agreed. Is ok for them to make errors/mistake but for us parents is not?
I was texting my daughter (16/17) last night and she says she loves and misses us but can't come home, is complicated. What can it be complicated if you love and miss you family? I said to her we will do anything to help you, no matter what your problem is; school wise, friend wise, part time job, youth courses, anything but she instists... she still wants to stay with those strange people to us. Them people want to apply for child arrengment order for my daughter to share responsibility with us... NEVER I will do that. I don't understand.
Is there something that social workers are hiding from us? SS saying that they have asses that family but we know nothing about them. Do they have kids? If they do, how old are they coz it matters for my daughter and to us. If they don't....hmmm... and want to apply for child arrengment order...dodgy here.
How can I save my daughter by realising that only her family will help her out, not all these people involved.
I miss her so much, I haven't seen her in 4/5months.
With SS don't know how to react; to get emotional about all this which is normal as being a human, they will see as you are not capable looking after your kids, if you keep it together, they will say, emotionless, heartless.... don't know how to act to be honest. They are playing with parents feelings... do they have kids their own?
I hope you will solve your problems with them very soon

Feel let down
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:09 pm

Re: Dealing with Social Workers

Postby Feel let down » Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:39 pm

Feeling really down an on the verge of wondering why I am still here I am now being taken to court I have done everything they have asked me but still not good anoth they keep changing the care plans every week which I have to follow an my daughter is finding it hard with the constant changes she is housebound an they no this as they normally phone the dr to come out for check ups (all healthy very check up blood tests weight etc) but now they making me take her out I no they trying to get her out the house for exercise but they no how hard it is for her she gets so anxious an hates being around people she starts feeling ill an gettin distressed she had dr appointment today but because I phoned an cancelled it as could not get her out the house bearing in mind I'm not aloud to drag her out the house or it will be abuse as neglect it will now go on report for the courts I not following the care plan I feel the mental torture they are giving me is worse than any abuse an torture my ex put us through everything just gone so wrong I removed me an my kids away from domestic violence an torture to me an got him jailed an moved away this was ten years ago never had another partner since stayed on my own to raise my kids an not ever have them in a situation like that again it's gone from my daughter having ptsd ,anxiety ,she selective mute an housebound to all them problems being ignored now an I'm neglecting her yet I'm the one who asked for help keep her safe she is very loved clothed fed an watered as they say clean house is clean I just don't understand how they can get away with it it's wrong an can understand now why people feel suicidal because social services make you feel that way I'm not saying they are all bad because that would be unfair an I praise the ones that do take away children that are being beaten an tortured an neglected but for the ones to pick on innocent families make there life's hell an traumatise them during process an years after just to make there profile look good I will try an find the site where it is leaked that social services get PAID a BONUS for the removal of children in a court case an if there is truth in this then something is terribly wrong in the system I will post once found the link again x


Return to “Welcome and rules of use”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest