Honestly cant see the light

[Knowledgeispower]

Hi warthog, congratulations on your success. May I ask the therapy you engaged with, was it done by a counsellor/psychotherapist or was it a psychologist? And also how much were the sessions. I am going to undergo therapy but want to make sure I'm working with the right practitioner first because social services can be quite difficult . Thank you

[warthhog123]

Hi warthog, congratulations on your success. May I ask the therapy you engaged with, was it done by a counsellor/psychotherapist or was it a psychologist? And also how much were the sessions. I am going to undergo therapy but want to make sure I'm working with the right practitioner first because social services can be quite difficult . Thank you

Hi there
I saw a psychotherapist which i was lucky to get for free as i was put in touch by domestic abuse my therapist was an intergrational therapist which means she was quailified in all areas of therapy like CBT for example. Cousellors reports do not stand in court and CSC questioned if i was receiving right therapy in order to try keep my son but because my therapist covered all areas of therapy they had no leg to stand on..... So CSC had me have assess me who was suppose to be impartial and totally separate from the case yet she spoke with social worker at length before during and after assessment and surprise my assessment lost me my son further yet after therapy who fully supported me against CSC wrote report that completely contradicted assessment so another one was allowed but same psychologist had to do it judge said it was only 6 months since first one........... this one surprise was absolutely glowing and completely different all together. I was stitched up from the get go how ever without therapy i wouldnt be here today or have my son as i learnt so much about my past and myself and the cycle of abuse it changed my life and have to admit i needed therapy as i had much to deal with but it was extremely hard and painful time but i dont regret it i was left with no choice therapy or lose my son for ever. anything else i can help with just ask. xx

[Knowledgeispower]

Ok thanks warthog that was very helpful, thank god you have your son back. I was reading your story and it really inspired me , your story is truly a blessing and I hope you and your son are bonding better than ever now. I think I am just going to get therapy from a psychologist I am scared that ss will say a psychotherapist is not qualified enough, I am currently pregnant and hoping to keep my baby, I have self referred to ss after my two kids are up for adoption due to neglect and I was recommended therapy xx

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear wharthhog,
Welcome back to the parents forum. Thank you for your support on the forum. I am so sorry to hear that your exe is pursuing contact again. I think your assessment of why he is doing this is probably right.
As Murray has suggested, will he be able to maintain his application? There is also evidence building up against him having contact. If he does manage to take it back to court, then can you make sure the matter is before the same judge, that the chronology is updated? The
coram childrens legal centre has a lot of information about private law proceedings.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[warthhog123]

Thank you Suzie

I didnt know about having the same judge that would make all the difference as i dont think this particular would be very supportive of ex as he declared to judge that he just wanted loving relationship with his son and to be the father he should of been, he cried and begged the judge to get contact before centre was set up. so Childrens Social care with no obligation arranged a contact for week after court and he cancelled 10 minutes before contact.

Would you know how i go about requesting same judge? and if i cant im i right in thinking they wont just grant contact without looking into the history or final court order?

I have copy of core assessment and final letter from CSC that states they would be extremely concerned should he try to regain contact with son and they also say it would cause significant emotional distress to my son.
thanks

[ange301126]

Dear warthhog, All the facts you have mentioned; list them down in chronological order from the very beginning,all about non molestation order and his breaches,threats,violence,drugs,blackmail,porridge etc.etc and that is the best way to protect yourself and your baby from danger.Stay cool and detach yourself completely from his mind games.

Stay as strong as you were before. I have heard of some extremely stupid family court decisions but surely no judge will grant him contact with knowledge of all those facts!

As you have said, you were let down by the authorities all the way down the line and still you are not getting the protection required.

A non-molestation order against a man like that was totally inadequate.Would I be right to say it was the meddling sw who suggested that was the appropriate course? Criminal violence, blackmail and drug-dependency should have been dealt with by criminal charges at the time.The man must be obsessed and even now,I would say he presents a grave threat. How far will he go? I don't want to worry you unduly but if he is crazy due to drugs or whatever ( a psychopath) can you make a complaint to the Police and tell them you want stronger action?

[warthhog123]

Dear warthhog, All the facts you have mentioned; list them down in chronological order from the very beginning,all about non molestation order and his breaches,threats,violence,drugs,blackmail,porridge etc.etc and that is the best way to protect yourself and your baby from danger.Stay cool and detach yourself completely from his mind games.

Stay as strong as you were before. I have heard of some extremely stupid family court decisions but surely no judge will grant him contact with knowledge of all those facts!

As you have said, you were let down by the authorities all the way down the line and still you are not getting the protection required.

A non-molestation order against a man like that was totally inadequate.Would I be right to say it was the meddling sw who suggested that was the appropriate course? Criminal violence, blackmail and drug-dependency should have been dealt with by criminal charges at the time.The man must be obsessed and even now,I would say he presents a grave threat. How far will he go? I don't want to worry you unduly but if he is crazy due to drugs or whatever ( a psychopath) can you make a complaint to the Police and tell them you want stronger action?

yes it was sw who insisted on non mol order... My ex has not breached as such since 2012 but that doesnt ease my mind much as i know last year he verbally assaulted partner and sent vile messaged... He then has asked his mother bits about my life. He tried when CSA got hold of him to go third party through his mother for me to stop been difficult and reduce payment... i rang police and they said it was his mothers fault for passing on information. I am not worried as such but i am always alert as if my ex hits rock bottom has night on drugs or falls out with someone he owes money to he my just come knocking............ The restraining order is working as judge stated he would get 5 years next time...... The main reason is my sons safety but should he be granted contact order i believe he is doing it to try gain power and control over me again and i believe he will try and drip feed my son..... I kept small network of friends and good safety round and about but alarms me hes back 2 streets away!!! the only way he can get information is through his mother but she knows one hint of risk and she will be stopped contact with my son... i have no room for error... I never leave my house unattended for long as he is known thief and i never go out on evening and gate padlocked in back garden but i have 300 metre restriction on order and his dad lives 302 so police cant do anything and basically unless he broke into my home police wouldnt act... hopefully he will remain quiet. should he lose in court or not go ahead it could put me at risk. also if he found out i was moving and marrying that could rock the boat,