Giving away PR
Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2015 6:33 pm
I hope you can help
I used to be a supported lodging provider for an 18 year old. While she lived with me she had a baby, who is now 1 years old. She left me for a few months to live back with her mum, as the boyfriend's mother was continually bullying and harrassing her in order to wreck her confidence at being a mother as boyfriend's parents want custody of the baby. At this point the child was put on the child protection register. A few things happened which should not have - not with her immediate care of the baby but more to do with her need to be out with her friends - and she took the baby with her, which boyfriend's mum continually told social services about and called the police about her (partly bacause they want custody but also there is an ongoing rape allegation that the police ar looking into relating to my young person and her boyfriend - he raped her while she was pregnant). She also has had post natal depression. Her relationship with her mum broke down and she felt that she was struggling to care for the baby so the boyfriend's mother took the baby with social serevice agreement. The young person came back to live with me - now not supported lodgings as she no longer qualifies, but I am caring for her anyway.
Because of the things that have happened, she is not allowed to be on her own with the baby, and currently the only people who have been assessed to be the supervising adult are the boyfriend's parents. Becasue of this, she was only getting to see the baby once a week for an hour supervised by a social worker and so she was rapidly losing a bond with the baby. Since she has been back living with me, I have arranged for 3x 2 hour contact sessions at my house a week, and boyfriend's mother comes too to supervise. These sessions are very stressful as the woman emotionally manipulates my young person and there is lack of trust all round. The sessions have gone well and she gets to feed the baby and so on.
Last week was a child protection conference which basically turned into a kangaroo court against my young person. I have attended all of the contact seessions at my house as I hoped that would prevent boyfriend's mum from making things up, however, it didn't and she claimed that my young person is not engaged with her baby and leaves her unsupervised and allows the child to plan with dangerous things - this is not true. There were also lots of comments made about unfounded things eg had my young person engaged with mental health services since she was back with me - she hasn't, and that was minuted even though no one has any evidence that she needs these services - it is trial by supoposition
The Chair said that he wanted stability for the baby and therefore PR should be given to boyfriend's mum and dad. This would means that all decisions would be 3 (grandparents plus father - who isn't involved in the baby's life) against 1and my young person would be overruled on everything. She would be totally at their mercy to get any contact or get the baby back in the future. The woman is emotioanlly manipulative already and would not help her to contimue to build her bond back up with the baby as it is in their interests that she doesn't have one, as they want the baby. I tried to argue her corner at the meeting but was just told by boyfriend's mother that I was a liar. I have asked for social services to assess me as a supervising adult and to assess our home to prove it is safe (they were happy enough with the baby living with me when she was born) and I have asked for social workers to come and observe the contact to prove that she does have a bond with the baby and plays with her in an appropriate way
I am concered that PR is going to be given to the grandparents in the name of stability, without my young person's intensions ever getting a hearing eg she wants to build up her relationship with the baby so that she can have overnight stays etc so there is consistency when she feels ready to take her back. At the moment the grandparent's have the baby as a private arrangementk, but if that gets to be a formal one, I can see that she will never get the baby back and all of the positive things that she has been doing for the baby and for herself (back on college full time, sorting out her health and so on) will never even get a mention
Any help would be appreciated
I used to be a supported lodging provider for an 18 year old. While she lived with me she had a baby, who is now 1 years old. She left me for a few months to live back with her mum, as the boyfriend's mother was continually bullying and harrassing her in order to wreck her confidence at being a mother as boyfriend's parents want custody of the baby. At this point the child was put on the child protection register. A few things happened which should not have - not with her immediate care of the baby but more to do with her need to be out with her friends - and she took the baby with her, which boyfriend's mum continually told social services about and called the police about her (partly bacause they want custody but also there is an ongoing rape allegation that the police ar looking into relating to my young person and her boyfriend - he raped her while she was pregnant). She also has had post natal depression. Her relationship with her mum broke down and she felt that she was struggling to care for the baby so the boyfriend's mother took the baby with social serevice agreement. The young person came back to live with me - now not supported lodgings as she no longer qualifies, but I am caring for her anyway.
Because of the things that have happened, she is not allowed to be on her own with the baby, and currently the only people who have been assessed to be the supervising adult are the boyfriend's parents. Becasue of this, she was only getting to see the baby once a week for an hour supervised by a social worker and so she was rapidly losing a bond with the baby. Since she has been back living with me, I have arranged for 3x 2 hour contact sessions at my house a week, and boyfriend's mother comes too to supervise. These sessions are very stressful as the woman emotionally manipulates my young person and there is lack of trust all round. The sessions have gone well and she gets to feed the baby and so on.
Last week was a child protection conference which basically turned into a kangaroo court against my young person. I have attended all of the contact seessions at my house as I hoped that would prevent boyfriend's mum from making things up, however, it didn't and she claimed that my young person is not engaged with her baby and leaves her unsupervised and allows the child to plan with dangerous things - this is not true. There were also lots of comments made about unfounded things eg had my young person engaged with mental health services since she was back with me - she hasn't, and that was minuted even though no one has any evidence that she needs these services - it is trial by supoposition
The Chair said that he wanted stability for the baby and therefore PR should be given to boyfriend's mum and dad. This would means that all decisions would be 3 (grandparents plus father - who isn't involved in the baby's life) against 1and my young person would be overruled on everything. She would be totally at their mercy to get any contact or get the baby back in the future. The woman is emotioanlly manipulative already and would not help her to contimue to build her bond back up with the baby as it is in their interests that she doesn't have one, as they want the baby. I tried to argue her corner at the meeting but was just told by boyfriend's mother that I was a liar. I have asked for social services to assess me as a supervising adult and to assess our home to prove it is safe (they were happy enough with the baby living with me when she was born) and I have asked for social workers to come and observe the contact to prove that she does have a bond with the baby and plays with her in an appropriate way
I am concered that PR is going to be given to the grandparents in the name of stability, without my young person's intensions ever getting a hearing eg she wants to build up her relationship with the baby so that she can have overnight stays etc so there is consistency when she feels ready to take her back. At the moment the grandparent's have the baby as a private arrangementk, but if that gets to be a formal one, I can see that she will never get the baby back and all of the positive things that she has been doing for the baby and for herself (back on college full time, sorting out her health and so on) will never even get a mention
Any help would be appreciated