can you trust social services

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Social Services cannot be trusted, my 2 children were from a good home where they were kept safe and secure but because I was a single parent I was an easy target.. My 2 children were removed by the courts because of vicious, vindictive lies by the local authority, I will tell anyone that does not believe they are capable of doing outlandish things "Wake Up" out of denial and hope that it's not you targeted next. The power they believe to have goes to there head, all they care about is targets and bonuses they do not care about the families they destroy, there not human! Do not trust a word that comes from their mouths its all lip service.. They are all in it together, local authority, solicitors, barrister's, health professionals, cafcass, even judges. It's easier for them to destroy decent human beings rather than concentrate on the children who are in actual danger, everyone can't be wrong about them.. I hope to get all the families in the country who have been through the same as me all together and take it to parliament because I know fine well these families would be there in a heartbeat it just takes someone to get it going. I'm not going to give up and I will expose these monsters for what they really are.

Dear Ol1234

Welcome to the Board. I am sorry to read your description of your involvement with Children’s Services, other professionals and the court processes that you went through.

As well as signposting you to our advice sheet about Care (and related) proceedings as a reference document, I should like to suggest that you call us on our advice service to discuss, in confidence, your situation. Our advice service is open from 9.30am to 3pm, Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366.

Match Mothers is a charity that may be able to advise you too, their advice service is open in the evenings.

Best wishes

Suzie

[QuestionMark]

Below is part of an email I sent my local MP

"I note that within the letter from ******** ****** it is explained that over £11 million has been provided to the police in order to support new ways in which domestic abuse can be handled and prevented and this is incredible. I have already noticed within recent weeks that *********** Police are sharing more information on social media regarding Clare's Law which does bring much re-assurance. However, charities such as ******** Women In Need are struggling. I attended The Freedom Programme provided by *WIN. The programme during the time that I attended was ran by a woman named ****** *****; I keep in touch with her regularly and she informed me in October of this year that The Freedom Programme has been suspended due to lack of funding. The loss of The Freedom Programme in itself is devastating. What is further worrying is that I have known women to have been placed on this programme with the condition that, should they complete the programme, their children will not be removed from their care; what does this mean for women and families in this position now that The Freedom Programme has been lost? In addition to this, I feel there should be more done to focus on the perpetrator of abuse; in my case, my ex partner has not been charged nor has he been placed on any programmes (The Perpetrator Programme, for instance) to educate him with the goal of preventing him from abusing another. I have even experienced a social worker making excuses for him; my mother was told by the social worker that "Karma will come back to him" but how many people will he have affected by that point?

Domestic violence is far more complicated than even victims can comprehend; I am still adjusting to what has happened to me. Understandably, it is vital that other professionals in addition to the police have training to gain insight and empathy for victims who will no doubt be confused by the abuse inflicted on them by a loved one. This should include social workers who are often the professionals the most involved with a family yet have very little training with regards to domestic violence. As a result of the lack of training that social workers currently have, they can often believe the perpetrators lie's. I feel solicitors and Judges of Family Court would also benefit such training; the highest amount of cases a Judge in Family Court has to handle involves domestic violence and in my case, the Judge himself actually asked me "Why did you stay?" with an apparent lack of concern for my perpetrators actions. I am very concerned for the next generation of young people whom will grow up having been taken from their mothers care and placed in the care of their father who abused their mother and possibly even them; what detrimental affect will this have on these children and society as a whole?"

No, we can't trust them and we need this to change, desperately

Edited by Suzie to remove reference to geographical area

[Miserylovescompany2]

We can trust them to lie, gaslight and happily falsify records. They can be trusted to lose information too.

They rule by fear - under the guise of safeguarding. If you listen very carefully to their wording they state only snippets of truth and skilfully manipulate facts. Very similar to how a psychopath manipulates the world around them to ensure their victim is continuously knocked off kilter...until they are ready for the kill!

Obviously there will be decent SW out there but unfortunately they are few and far between.

10 years ago the system wasn't like this - so what went wrong. We know that CS have made some catastrophic errors and missed opportunities to save lives. But what has actually changed for the better - what lesson did they learn. Because right now it is the majority of parents who have CS involvement who are currently paying the price.

CS get away with so much - parents openly fear speaking up or making formal complaints in fear of retaliation. Even solicitors advise not to complain - if you find yourself represented by one that does this...replace them forthwith because they are not on your side. They are on the side of CS.

It's a real shame we can not share what county we are from because I bet if we could clear patterns would emerge of which ones were failing families. Mine has just had a dire Ofsted report for failing children with SEN amongst other things - I have two children they failed in this. One with a five year void in his education - he still managed to write an email and send it to the senior manager clearly pointing out contradictions and failings. Other child supposedly looked after - he has just lost one year of his education under their care!

[QuestionMark]

There's some really valid points here so proposal: how about we work together and focus on these valid points, build on them and compile a letter for MP's? If enough of us start speaking out about this surely there will be change? Let's make Fact Finding about actual facts again with actual evidence rather than hearsay and whom can shout insults the loudest to distract from what really matters; our children

[lostbear2012]

no not at all
My situation is a difficult one, about 6 weeks ago my boys were staying over at their dads as usual its been like this for over 2yrs and work very well, but i was on the phone to my daughter who lives with her father her choice and i heard my little son who is 6 screaming and shouting saying please dont hurt me daddy so i called the police just to do a wellfare check turns out it was nothing but better be safe then sorry i suppose, the nxt day i was to pick them up from school as normal and was refused this. No one had let me know so i go to the school as normal and see my ex taking them his response was u called the police so i called social services, they didnt contact me until the nxt day to let me know what was going on. Turns out my ex and my daughter are making alligations against my current husband so now police involved in that and social services are being dicks not listening to me. My ex abused me for 13yrs physically, emotionally and sexually thats why i left and its relevent in any case for the kids that social take on but they have chosen to place my kids with him who is a medium risk to the kids and myself. This particular social worker is so far up my kids fathers bum its unreal. She disregards everything i say and is doing things she shouldnt do and is lying about the whole thing for example saying my 6 yr old is saying he only wants to ser me for 3hrs a week and wants to stay with his father and hates his step dad but when i and my mother sees him its the complete opposite he wants to come home, wants to see his step dad and hopes his dad looses the custody battle. This social worker dont even care that he is being exposed to sexual activity at his dads as he has to sleep in his dads room he only has a two bed house, she just brushes it under the carpet, she refuses to talk to my mum who is close to the kids since birth but talks to the step mother who has only known them 18 months. She refuses to let me talk about my domestic abuse that i had from the father of my kids which is all relevent and talks to my children with the father there too who is talking for them and saying what he wants them to say they are scared of him because what he has done to me and the social worker is lying about all of this its unfair as i have been their constant in their lives from birth as my ex was always out drinking and being abusive. She has to complete her report by begining of march ready for court end of march but i know its going to favour him and im going to end up loosing my children because of her and her lies. Even my barrister had a word with her but she still persists to make me look the worst mum on this planet. I dont drink, take rec drugs and im a clean tidy person with pride. The kids father has a criminal history of gbh, assult, criminal damage, been to prison and deals drugs, also hasnt paid me any csa money for over two yrs. How can i get the social worker to listen, and the judge to listen?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear lostbear2012

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents’ discussion board and thank you for posting. My name is Suzie, FRG’s online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing which are clearly very distressing for you.

From what you have said, I think that there are two different (but connected) processes going on. One is that your ex-partner, the children’s father, is applying for a child arrangements order for the children to remain in his care. As part of this, I think the social worker is completing a section 7 (welfare) report where she will consider the welfare of the children and will make a recommendation to the court about who the children should live with and about the arrangements for the children to see their other parent. You mention that you have a barrister. That is great, as it means that you have access to legal advice/representation about this application. It is important that you work closely with your legal representative to make sure that any of your concerns about the social worker’s report are addressed and to discuss how you wish to proceed from a legal point of view. This includes discussing how to address the social worker’s evidence, if you believe that her report is inaccurate, when it is completed. If you don’t have ongoing legal representation you can find out more about the court process or seek advice from Child Law Advice, Rights of Women or Advice Now.

The Transparency Project charity has also produced a guidance note about the family court process where domestic violence is an issue – it also explains very helpfully what to expect when the court is making decisions about children. You can access a copy of the Domestic Abuse Guidance Note here.

The second process that is happening at the moment, I think, is that children’s services are undertaking an assessment or a child protection investigation (you mention that police are involved) because of concerns raised by your daughter and her father about your current husband. You can find out much more about assessments and child protection procedures in these specialist advice sheets on family support and child protection procedures.

The social worker has a key role in both of these processes so it must be very difficult for you that you feel she is not listening to your views at all and that you feel she is biased in favour of your ex-partner. Her role is not to take either parent’s side but to focus on the children’s needs and what is best for them. This should include hearing from you too as the children’s mother and not dismissing your experiences and your concerns. You have understandably tried to raise the issue of the history of domestic violence, your ex-partner’s drinking and offending history and your worries about how this may affect the children. However, I think you should be very cautious not to accuse the social worker of lying; what you can do is point out where you disagree with her professional opinion, highlight any factual errors in her reports and ask that they be amended. You should also put in writing the information that you feel is relevant and that needs to be included in her assessment. You should also make sure that you have a copy of the completed assessment and go through it carefully so that you can see what the social worker’s analysis of the situation is, how she has weighed up the strengths and difficulties that both you and your ex-partner have and what recommendations she is making and why.

You could also have a look at our film and advice sheet on family group conferences and if you believe this could be a useful way of involving your mum or other significant family members to help work out a good plan for the children, ask the social worker if she can arrange this.

You should try to find a way of working with the social worker that means you can get your views across but also allows you to understand other perspectives and to focus on the children’s needs and how you can meet them. These tips on working with a social worker may help. We also have a charter of mutual expectations for parents and local authorities that sets out good practice principles.

It is always best to try to resolve any problems you are having with the social worker and when necessary to challenge constructively. If this is not possible of course you have the option of making a complaint – you can find out more about how to do this in this advice sheet on complaints.

I hope this is helpful. If you would like to speak to an adviser you can call our Freephone helpline 0808 801 0366 which is open Mon- Fri from 9.30 am to 3 pm, or you can post back with a new query.

With best wishes

Suzie

[lostbear2012]

so i had my 3rd court hearing yesterday and been very upset since. My ex completely lied in court about me through his solicitor. Making me out to be an awful parent. And now he is trying to stop my contact with the children all together but my solicitor is not standing for that thank god and said its not my fault the children are saying they want to return home but yet again social services are twisting things around saying i am the one brainwashing them and that my ex who is violent is such a wonderful parent and social deem it fine that he has a criminal history and only has a two bed house so over crowding of his property. Its an absolute fast. I have proof she lied about my sons school saying he has said he wants to remain at his fathers as the headteacher said no such thing and sent me an email to confirm this and that my son is booked into nurture sessions to help him in this difficult time as he is hurting himself so if this is a child that is happy and flourishing at school according to social services then i would hate to see what a child in need looks like they must be a mess bless them. She is insisting that i am wrong and that the children dont want me in their lives and they only want their father and his partner. I only get three hrs a week with my children and social are now trying to stop that im very upset about this and my solicitor isnt really helping she says that because he has the children then its hard to get them back and that his police record done by cafcass wont be used and dont matter is this really the case? Concidering mine and my husbands ones are totally clean. Also my solicitor said that a judge will listen to the children even my 7yr olds views and it holds so much weight but surley he is too young and is most likely confused and upset so is probably saying to each parent that he wants to live with them. I am fuming as this seems to be all a set up so that my narcissist, abusive horrible ex can get what he wants he clearly has fooled the social worker and is now fooling the courts. I feel like i have lost hope and dont really know where to turn. Also i recieve legal aid so would this make a difference? And my ex keeps banging on about my benefits so obviously this is what he is after not the children he owes me 2 1/2 yrs of csa money and has hand written to them saying he has nothing and is signing on jobseekers in april this year. Yet he told social services that he has a construction buisness and is comfortable fanancially tgis is in her report. Why wont anyone listen to me its a bit of a joke now???

[emz86]

hello I have just joined website so I do apologise I am not sure how to start your own question? if anyone could give me some advice that would be great seems there are lots of lovely helpful people on here so I have one question to start with that I really need answering and then if anyone wants to know any background to it aswell ill tell you just didn't want to waffle on. I have a court hearing on Monday and my social worker has done an emergency risk assessment on my son who I took back into my care . am I allowed to demand to see the report before she attends court and its given to the judge on Monday as I have had problems before with wrong information being written in previous reports and I want to make sure important things are in it x

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear emz86

Welcome to the parent’s discussion board and thank you for your posts.

I see from your post that you had a hearing on Monday and I am sorry that you did not receive a response before now. This is due to the volume of work.

I do hope that the hearing went well for you.

Regarding your question about whether you should see a report prepared by a social worker before it goes to court, the answer is that usually you should receive a copy of the report.

From your post about finance for attending court, it seems that you are in private law court proceedings brought by your child’s father. If your child lives with you in a different area you could ask for the case to be transferred to your local family court. Usually, the case is where the child lives.

As you are in a private law case, the social worker may have prepared at section 7 report for the court. Although you could ask for any inaccurate facts to be changed (and you could point them out to the judge) you would not be able to ask for her professional opinion to be changed even if you disagree.

Our service provides advice where children’s services are actually involved with a family and for you, it appears that the social worker was asked only to prepare a report which means they are not actually involved only doing the court has asked.

If you do not have a solicitor representing you, it might be helpful for you to contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 as they provide advice relating to private law cases.

Should children’s services be involved in another way with your family and you wish to post again please do so. Alternatively, you could telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Best wishes

Suzie

[emz86]

hey suzie thankyou so much for reply, so I am unsure as to what happened at the hearing on Monday which is really frustrating I did ask for the case to be heard in my town as its 4 hours away from his dads city where the court is and I am the one with the child in my care however they declined. my social worker has sent one message today simply saying can she pop round Friday to discuss what the court said so as you can imagine my minds a mess with worry incase it was ordered he is to go back. I called the court and they said it was not finalised yet but woukd be sent out second class tomorrow. my social worker always seems to be on 'training days' when I call her like today to ask the outcome so im in the dark. I sent a legthy email that the judge did receive before hearing to have my say. she never did let me see the report she always seems to get around things she said she had filed it off to the court on Thursday even though I had asked to see it multiple times, then she just kept asking me what it was I wanted to know etc to kind of fob me off. is there anyway I can find out what happened as I know his dad womt answer phone to me? yes it was a risk assessment she did and made a recommendation to the judge before a section 37 can be carried out however im glad now I know im within my rights to still see it . thabkyou in advance fore anymore advice you have xx