Previous domestic abuse

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Joined: Wed Mar 12, 2014 9:40 pm

Previous domestic abuse

Post by Silverpants » Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:12 pm

Please can you advise me further.
I am a mum of four ages 14, 12, 7 years and a 10 month of baby.
A couple of weeks ago the police were called out by my 14 year old daughter as my partner of 2 years who practically lives with us come home drunk and was being very argumentative.
this is the second occasion since october though no arrest was made and nor was there before.
I was told that children services would be contacted due to the children being home and the nature of the visit.
Last week children services did contact me and came out to asses my children and I also my partner.
They asked me how I was going to safe guard my children to which I replied my partner is not going to go out drinking anymore, she said that it wouldn't be satisfactory and that due to a previous partner/relationship 8 years ago I am a repeat victim as are my children
And that I need to safeguard them from keep being subjected to domestic abuse to which she asked me to sign a consent form to be able to contact doctors and schools.She also asked me if I wanted to make a referal for my partner to see our 10 month old son through a contact centre to which I replied no.
My partner feels he is being penalised for what has gone on in my previous relationship, he has not been in trouble with DV before and freely gave the social worker his ex wife's name including his other children's names.
It has not been made clear of what will be the next step?
Do I need to separate from my partner?If so will we be able to live together in the future. how long will this investigation last? What would be your advise for me to do?i love my partner dearly and would like to stay together asi dont feel he is a risk to us nor am i in denial,however my children come first and i will do anything i need to do to keep them with me and safeguard them.any advice reall y appreciated

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Previous domestic abuse

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:56 pm

Dear Silverpants

Welcome to the parent’s discussion board. My name is Suzie, one of the Family Rights Group's online advisers.

In relation to your situation, Children’s Services will be concerned that you and your children may be vulnerable to the risk of domestic abuse based on your family’s past history.

It goes without saying that it is essential for you to fully engage in the social work assessment that is taking place. Can I suggest you consider asking to be referred to the Freedom Programme for specific support around the issues you raise.

Giving your consent for the schools, health visitor, GP and any other agency to be contacted will inform what is likely to happen next. In this way the Local Authority can fully assess your children's needs and be satisfied you are taking their concerns seriously.

Furthermore that you would be able to raise your awareness around domestic abuse and how you can best protect yourself and the children from further incidents in the event this become necessary.

Each of your children will be assessed in turn and their views taken in account as appropriate to their age, development and understanding. Finally agreeing to couple counselling may be a further way you can address any issues about resolving conflict that you have in the relationship.

Without having more information about the specific incident it may be important that a risk assessment is conducted on your partner to see what if any further support is required. For instance would he need to think about engaging in alcohol counselling or anger management. The more open you are to receiving support is likely to rule in your favour where future decisions for the children is concerned.

You may find it useful to refer to our advice sheets on family support and child protection so you can know what to expect from Children’s Services at this time.

If you wish to speak to an adviser about your situation you can contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes


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