help /advise about a cs conference and what to do next

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Joined: Sun Dec 22, 2013 3:38 pm

help /advise about a cs conference and what to do next

Post by bigmick43 » Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:05 pm

myself and my wife have been together for 20yrs now and have 4 children ,eldest has just turned 18
the eldest boy and the eldest girl have no issues (other than the norm) but the youngest boy and girl have really made it hard work throughout the years ,but its steadily getting worse ,so we went to the doctors to seek help to ask for a referal to camhs for help/diagnosis mainly for the youngest as she was constantly lying, shoplifting ,stealing and genaral outburst of verbal and sometimes physical attacks on others in the family , .
we went to three cahms meetings the third being a visit with a syciatrist who made an assesment and said that she had a conductive dissorder ,???? her report was full of inaccuracies so i questioned it and the findings ,and asked for a second opinion as no-one seem to know what it was and how to treat/deal with it .in turn we heard nothing for six months then out the blue a fone call to ask why we hadnt been to a appointment to see a nurse diatitian at the hospital ?? ?? i replied if they could post an appointment (nothing sent) so further problems had me at breaking point so asked cs for help and explained the situation and said they would help (nothing again ) till my daughter started to runaway and had to be reported as missing to which she was found but had accused me and her mum of hitting her ,cs where brought in we then explained our plight but the our son then did exactly the same thing after attacking his sister ,smashed the front door in then ran off to which we couldnt allow him back into the house to protect our duaghter and ourselves ,they put him into repite for two nights then brought him back ,he now gets councelling but then we had a vivit from a cs ss manager who spoke to our children then left after telling us we had to attand a meeting but our normal ss wouldnt be there ,we went and was bombarded with all these different people who have had nothing to do with our case and the cs rep did not state alot of the facts only nitbits that put us in a bad light and said that we hadnt kept appointments (outcome :our children are are at risk)i feel that this meeting was brought by selective facts but not the whole facts to able them to do this ,we feel completely heartbroken by this for trying to get help for our children in the first place ,what a mess is an understatement |!!!! what to do next ??? i have read looked read and looked again but completely at a loss any help much appreciated please

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: help /advise about a cs conference and what to do next

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Dec 24, 2013 12:06 pm

Dear bigmick43,

Welcome to the parents board! I am really sorry to hear about the difficulties your family have had-its sounds as though you have been through a pretty stressful time. I can see that you had tried to access support for your younger children from children services (social services) but that this was only given in a piecemeal fashion when the family hit crisis point. It wasn’t enough or properly organised.

It looks like your children are now on a child protection plan-is that right? You feel that if you had been given the support in the first place-this wouldn’t have happened and you would have happily worked with a child in need plan Family support-child in need.

Not only that, you believe that the social worker report for the child protection conference was biased and that too much emphasis was placed on negative information in the Child protection conference itself.

Please see all our information about the child protection procedures.

Did you have the opportunity to comment about the report in the child protection meeting?
If you had received the report late-ie on the date of the conference, you may have not had time to read, understand and be able to comment on the report.
If you did manage to make your comments during the conference -ask for the minutes of the conference and check that your comments are reflected in them. If they are not, take it up with the chair of the conference.

You could have been understandably overwhelmed by all the people in the meeting so felt unable to comment.
Why don’t you go through the report? Ask the social worker to take you through-and ask that your comments as parents be noted on the file.
If the social worker does not agree to do this, you could always contact the social workers manager. Ultimately, the contents of the report must be as accurate as possible. If the social worker disagrees with you adding your comments to your children file, then you could always consider challenging it by complaints .

Did you have an advocate at the meeting? If not, you could ask the social worker to refer you to an advocacy service.

Child protection plan
A child protection plan is made if it is suspected that children are suffering significant harm and that harm is “ongoing”-ie that any harm wasn’t just a one off incident. Because children services are worried about your children being harmed-the child protection plan is, in a way, compulsory. Parents as well as the other professionals (school children services and the health professionals) are expected to follow the plan.

The plan will then be reviewed at the next conference. If the risk of harm to the children has been reduced-then you could ask that there be a child in need plan-which is not compulsory.

Even though you feel that it is unfair to have a child protection plan-because it may not have got this far if only children services had offered support, I must stress the importance of you as a parent to now work as best as possible with the plan. There should be (at last) some of the support that your family need. By cooperating with the plan-I would hope that a review meeting would decide that the plan is no longer needed.

I have given you a lot of information to read on Family Rights Group website-it is all helpful-but if you have any questions at all please post back or cal our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,


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Joined: Sun Dec 22, 2013 3:38 pm

Re: help /advise about a cs conference and what to do next

Post by bigmick43 » Thu Jan 02, 2014 1:43 pm

Thank you for the welcome and reply
We have had time to reflect on all of this and yes allot of what you said was pretty much spot on .we now have taken steps to try to get the help that we should have had before ,for our children aswell as ourselves ,we are going to make a formal complaint ,and also against the conference ,we know the decision won't change but hopefully they will impliment an evaluation for the two children who we think have ADHD so hopefully will b able to positively move forward from this

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