Does my past stop me from having a family life

[Sugz]

Hi most definitely will be writing down what we need to ask, my gf has also been in contact with rights for women an they have basically said the cs reacted this way because they didn't want the worst to happen so protecting themselves at the end of the day, they have also asked how would she feel to have a child on protection for many years an having different people coming an going meetings etc as well as if we was to have a child this would also be high risk?? Again I stress I wasn't convicted of harming a child.. I do however understand because it was violence that it's a cause for concern, i haven't been in any altercations or been in any kind of troublefor over 15 years! Also if we were to live together cs could get involved again..I know that my licence conditions are set for me to adhere to and if will follow them to the letter as I have no intention of opening doors I've already closed but as with probation there comes a point where they say everything is fine we're happy an let you get on with your life can you say the same for cs

[Miserylovescompany2]

Unfortunately CS are now a law on to themselves - they happily deviate away from every framework and guidance that currently stands knowing fine well that parents fear them.

Surely only an assessment (a one done with fairness) can determine whether or not CS should be involved long term?

In the case of you and your GF the SW has already made an underhand comment stating life should mean life. That is not what the SW is there for - the judicial system decides that part. This comment was made just by knowing you'd served a prison sentence. It certainly was not based on speaking with your probation officer. If you are such a danger to children then why don't you have restrictions placed on you currently?

Too much is currently based on a SW personal opinion. What if they were openly racist for example? They wouldn't be allowed to get away with making such comments! When you had your own child the SW didn't make such a judgement.

Your GF shouldn't be fearful of asking for a joint assessment - even if the outcome was negative. She shouldn't be threatened with the removal of her child. This is poor practice on the part of the SW. Look at their actions - they are not child centred!

If each person who had been threatened by CS placed a complaint the system would have to change. Right now parents are fearful of doing so.

Upheld complaints have to be sent to Ofsted - CS fear them!

Amongst your questions I would ask CS to signpost you to which guidance/framework they are currently following?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Sugz

Welcome to the parents discussion forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I see from your various posts that you and your girlfriend have been having a difficult time because of children’s services involvement. You have had a number of responses from Miserlovescompany2 but I think it is important that I give you some advice in respect of your current circumstances.

In your first post you state that you informed probation (as required by your licence) when you decided to start a relationship with your girlfriend. Children’s services became involved and the father of your girlfriend’s son was also made aware and this caused problems especially with the father.

Children’s services made a decision that you could not be around your girlfriend’s son. It is not clear whether children’s services carried out a risk assessment of you to reach the decision that you are a risk. You ask whether it is fair for children’s services to impose restrictions in the way that they have. It is difficult to answer this as I do not have the information that children’s services do including details relating to your conviction. I would say, however, that children’s services ought to do an assessment first.

Children’s services, because of their safeguarding role will not always accept another agency’s decision. For example, in a situation where the police decides not to continue a case, the fact the police are taking no further action will not prevent children’s services continuing to have safeguarding concerns.

I do not know if you and your girlfriend lived together but, if you did, then children’s services could have asked that you leave the home until their assessment is completed. Were you or your girlfriend told by the social what investigation/assessment was being carried out? Please see our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services regarding what should happen when children’s services receive a referral.

It seems unusual that children’s services from what you say your further post were ready to close the case on the signing of the safety plan but then stating that it might be necessary for your girlfriend’s son to be placed on a child protection plan. I have included a copy of our advice sheet relating to child protection procedures for your information. You will see that the child should be considered at risk of future significant harm. If there is that worry then children’s services should have either a child in need plan or child protection to ensure that they can monitor the situation.

Further, children’s services if really concerned about risk can make an application to the court themselves rather than asking the father to do so. They would have to carry out proper assessments for the court if they made the application as the evidence provided has to show that your girlfriend is not able to safely parent her son. Please read our advice sheet about Care (and related) proceedings should children’s services

Bearing in mind what you say about the child’s father, he appears to have a violent history, in any application made by children’s services they would have to assess his parenting abilities as well as the mother's. If he is encouraged to go to court himself then history will still be looked at as the court would want a report from children’s services. This would be a private law application.

From what you have said in your post, it seems that your girlfriend’s ex-husband is controlling of her and it might be helpful for her to make contact with a domestic violence service like Women’s Aid.

Your girlfriend could write to the allocated social worker and team manager at children’s services, as she needs to be clear exactly what children’s services plans are for her and her son. If she has concerns about her ex-husband and his ability to care for the child, she should mention this as well. If it is her wish to request a risk assessment of you then she can ask the social worker to do this and to provide details of when and how the risk assessment will be carried out.

It is helpful that your probation officer is supporting you and plans to meet with children’s services to discuss how the matter can move forward.

The most important thing for your girlfriend is that she continues to cooperate with children’s services to show that she puts her son’s needs above her own and that she is protective of him. It is also important for the social worker to be open and transparent.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Sugz]

Hi
I would just like to why would ss say to my gf that if we was to have a child or would be the worst thing as it would put my gfs son as high risk.. can thus be the case when many people who get released back into the community go on to have family's of thier own..
The final report has been written and a copy was sent to my gf and because of the way it's been written by the sw, thier manager is going to rewrite it but the outcome is still the same..the 4 reasons they have stated have all been counteracted through the complaints process. It seems the opinion of the sw is the basis for the decisions

[Miserylovescompany2]

I would also consider whether or not you wish to pursue the HCPC route. To get their registration number - simply enter their surname in the HCPC search engine.

I think you knew from the outset the SW stance with their underhand comment of "life should mean life."

If you get no joy with the SW manager, might I suggest you take your concerns all the way up the chain of command...all the way to the director if needs be!

I'd also be flagging up concerns regarding the child's father as he could use an assessment or two - if this is about safeguarding then why has a blind eye been turned on him. By law CS have to investigate all concerns so if they received a one about him they'd have to follow protocol.

Sugz - you have served your time. If you are deemed such a risk then why don't you have restrictions that reflect this?

What are CS suggesting you do to lower the risk that they have stated you currently pose?

[Sugz]

Ss haven't given me any ways to lower my supposed risk just literally shut the case.

My solicitor will collate all relevant information and then we shall Go from there and as you say I have served my time so why am i still being punished? And not just me my gf is also because all we want is to be a family and live our lives..
So hyperthetically speaking what risk is presented if my gf and I was to have a baby? Does this make my gfs son more vulnerable?

[Sugz]

Hi
Just to update those who have taken an interest in what I have written, my gf submitted a complaint to ss they then said it would take 10 days for a reply that's there policy, that was last week an we still haven't received anything back from them the complaint was sent and acknowledge on the 27th of December. So my gf emailed again asking for updates an she was sent a very straightforward reply saying someone is dealing with it an will be in touch with you soon if your not happy with the outcome please get in touch with us.. again this doesn't leave us feeling too optimistic about the response but who knows.. I have now had the greatest news ever my beautiful gf is having our baby but it's put the fear of God into us as we don't know where our future lies and what ss will do when they hear the news ?? Can anyone stop us from being a family? I'm working 3 jobs to save and provide for us as I'm not allowed to be home with them right now so work is all I can do.. I've contacted my solicitor which I'll be charged £300 per hour if we take them to court.. once the complaint has come back from social services can we then take it to the board of directors as a grievance? Please can someone help us

Thank you for taking the time to read this

[Miserylovescompany2]

Hello Sugz

Congratulations to both you and your girlfriend. Personally, I'd push for a joint/couple assessment preferably with a different social worker. There is nothing stopping you from initiating your own formal complaint against CS in the interim. That said, I would wait to see what the outcome is of the first stage of your girlfriends complaint and then decide what you both want to do?

[Sugz]

Hi and thank you we are both very happy about the news of our pregnancy, however we can't be too overjoyed because of our current situation which seems to have no end in sight..
My gfs complaint she submitted on the 27th of December has still not been addressed, so my gf calls them directly after a few days of getting the run around by them ss have said they will come out and see the pair of them my gf asked do you want my partner to be here to as he is the biological father..no they replied. Then they said the sw who we made the complaint about is the one back on the case even though we was told by her line manager she is no longer apart of it since then the line manager doesn't work for them any more.. after speaking with my gf they then said we will call you back again they did this but called me instead at 1st they would not say who they are but want my gfs details they called my gf and again said the same sw is planning to see you on Monday.. my gf politely declined and said no we would like to have a different person as there is a conflict of interest now..they seem so disorganised and underprepaired to take on this task how can we be sure that the next safeguarding assessment they do will be adequate not only that they still haven't agreed to a couples assessment? What is wrong with these people it's all become time bound now my gf needs me to support her at hope not from a distance

Thanks sugz

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Sugz

Thank you for the update in your last two posts.

Regarding your partner’s complaint our advice sheet may help, it is called Challenging decisions and making complaints.

You seem to say that Children’s Services know that your partner is expecting and that they wanted to come out and visit her without you there and she declined, if this is the case perhaps she should reconsider her decision because as you say interaction with social workers in unavoidable at this time and an assessment will need to be undertaken. The local authority will have to be clear with your partner about their concerns and at some stage they will need to include you in the assessment because you are the father of the unborn child. It may be useful for your partner to ask the social worker for their assessment framework. Working Together to Safeguard Children 2018 may be useful to you too, please read from page 25.

Best wishes

Suzie