They want to steal my baby

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Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2018 1:47 am

They want to steal my baby

Post by Fighttillthedeath » Thu Jul 19, 2018 2:01 pm

I have been battling ss for a year now after her dad who was stalking me for 18 months finally got arrested he put a report in saying he caught my lil girl playing with white powder in my bag the kid could barely hold a spoon at the time im not saying i haven't made mistakes cause i have but they put my daughter on the child protection register saying home conditions / neglect we did the lists things i had to do things they had to do my list was clear by the end of the 1st month apart from 1 thing family services had closed no more out of hours visits i literally did everything except register my kid in nursery i think shes to young so i put it off, there list was still full we were supposed to go back to conference in april still there list wasnt done hadnt even been to see her dad who lives about 100 meters away from me at the beginning of may my partner at the time got drunk and hit me so i phoned the police knowing i would have to deal with ss giving me grief i thought it would be the lesser of two evils i was so wrong since the incident my case manager basically told me its all my own fault n deserve everything i got/am getting because i never gave them his name to do a check and are now recommending she stays on the cpr due to the dv and home conditions thats my story now heres the facts
May last year ss talked there way past my 16 year old mentally ill son and entered my house while I was out no written warning they were coming or a phone call they proceeded to enter every room i had literally just had new flooring all through the downstairs so things where piled everywhere as you can imagine (hence home conditions / neglect) they forced me to agree to send my daughter to nursery which i protested against at every opportunity i was recently told if it wasnt what i wanted it should never have been on there as they cant force me to send her, to me thats padding my list i have had 5 sw since may most of them looked like they couldn't raise a family of hamsters nevermind kids and i have caught every single one of them out with a lie usually in the 1st week or two most recently my current sw said fs reports say home conditions havent changed/improved since December my fs worker pointed out to me if that was true she wouldn't of been able to close earlier this year if thats not bang to rights i dont know what is, also after having a think last night it finally dawned on me the guy who does the conferences the independent guy who makes the decisions its all just a play on words cause i automatically thought hes nothing to do with them my thinking was independent /impartial soooo not the case the guy is actually part of them maybe a different department but when i Googled his name it came up with wbc social services and his photo.
They mention in the reports how my health impacts on hc but there was no mention how there involvement has impacted my health as i have had to get happy pills off my doctor and pills for the symptoms of my anxiety which ss are saying its down to drug use even though my doctor can back me up they are now saying i have to get my doctor to put that in writing even though i signed a form months ago for them to contact her directly.
People look at me like im crazy when i tell them ss are trying to steal my kid i know im not i know 100% there is nothing i can say or do to get rid of them they want my girl and wont stop till they get her i genuinely dont know what to do next i feel like i have no fight left in me thats another thing i have questioned everything they have said and done they are making me out to be difficult and uncooperative even though like i said apart from the 1 lie i told wasnt even a lie just withheld information ive done everything they have asked. And just to clarify i am not now or have i ever been on drugs. If any can help or give me some advice i would be very grateful also anyone who wants to chat or think they are going through the same thing im happy to help if i can

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: They want to steal my baby

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:47 pm

Dear Fighttothedeath

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. From you post it seems that you are having a very difficult time trying to work with children’s services whilst they have been involved with your family.

You say that your former partner made a referral to children’s services regarding alleged drug use since he said your daughter was found playing with white powder from your bag. I think it is important that you understand that if children’s services receive a referral that a child maybe at risk they have a duty to look into it to ensure that the child is safe. See our advice sheet about the procedures An introductory guide to Children’s Services

Although children’s services may not have had concerns about drug use it seems the home conditions was an issue as well as neglect. They would have carried out child protection enquiries before deciding to go to an initial child protection conference at which it was decided that your daughter needed to be on a child protection plan. In your post you say that you did everything that was required of you within one month with the exception of registering your daughter in nursery. It is really good that you were able to complete all that was expected of you. Please read our advice sheet Child protection procedures

Unfortunately, whilst your was still on a child protection plan and it seems before the first review conference there was a domestic violence incident in your home and you called the police. You may not be aware, but if the police is called to an incident and there is a child in the home, they have to refer it to children’s services. This incident is likely to have caused additional concerns for children’s services as domestic violence/abuse has a negative impact on children whether they witness it or not. Is there any particular reason why you did not want children’s services to have your partner’s details so a check could be carried out?

Children’s services should work openly with parents and give them clear information so they understand their concerns and how they can address it. It may be that they considered it important for your daughter to socialise with other children why nursery was suggested. If you did not agree and felt she already had the benefit of being with children her own age then children’s services should have considered your wishes and feelings regarding this.

You state that children’s services gained entry to your home when only your 16 year old was as home. It is not clear from our post whether this visit was being done as part of the children protection plan or was a first visit following a referral. If you believe the social worker acted inappropriately to gain entry to your home then you could consider making a formal complaint. Our advice sheet Challenging decisions and making complaints

Regarding your health, you mention that you are on medication for anxiety which you believe children’s services involvement has caused. Provided you mental health issues are being managed then children’s services are unlikely to be concerned unless it impacts on your ability to safely care from your daughter.

From your post, it is appears that you have not really been able to develop a good relationship with the social workers who have been allocated to your case. This is unfortunate, it is important to work with and cooperate with children’s services to show that you have an understanding of their concerns and show a willingness to address these concerns.

I do not know your age but I think if you are a young parent it might be helpful for you to look at our website It provides useful information about how to work with social workers and more.

It is a difficult situation to be in dealing with children’s services but the most helpful way is to engage positively rather than, as you say in your post, ‘battling’ as this can cause you to lose sight of the important issues. Of course, it is upsetting when you believe children’s services are not doing all they are supposed to do as you have said in your post but the important thing for you is to concentrate on doing what you need to do so you cannot be criticised.

Sometimes parents to find it hard to understand how the chair of the child protection conference can be impartial but is it part of their professional role to look at the whole picture. They do not have any day to day contact with the case and so are independent of the social worker working on a particular case. The chair has to give a professional view in respect of the concerns and if the evidence does not support what is been said can and will tell the social worker they do not agree. The focus is always on what is best for the child and how the child can best be safeguarded. You may not agree but you are expected to put your daughter’s needs before your own and show that you can look after your child safely and protect her.

The other thing that you need to understand is that if there is a child protection plan in place and the parent or parents are not following it, then children’s services can take legal advice and decide whether to take the case to the next level which could be public law outline procedures (PLO) or apply to the court for a care order. To prevent this action being taken it is important to work with children’s services so they can be sure that the child for whom they are concerned is going to be looked after in a safe environment and not put at risk.

Children’s services role is to help families stay together by offering support but if they think this is not working for the benefit of the child then they will take further steps to ensure that this happens. Their role is not to ‘steal’ children. They have a safeguarding role as do all professionals and everyone else where a child is considered to be at risk.

It would really help your situation if you try to understand the concerns children’s services say they have as this might help you to work with them better. That is not to say you cannot question things or ask for things to be explained to you.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser about your situation, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open form 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes


Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2018 1:47 am

Re: They want to steal my baby

Post by Fighttillthedeath » Mon Aug 06, 2018 2:50 pm

It was a 1st visit when they talked they're way in and the reason i didnt tell them about my new bf was because the babys dad had been stalking me for 18 months ( the only reason he didn't end up in court was because the police were to slow to prosecute) the social workers were telling him everything and i didnt want him to know. my girl was on cp before my last conference because of an incident with a previous sw who turned up with 2 other people less than 3 days after we had had a conversation about me not liking strangers in my home she forced my son to get me out of bed when i was really ill part of my agreement at that time was to look after my health which is what i was trying to do by resting, one of the others then threatened me think the guy was with them just to intimidate me cause he never said a word but because i refused to let them in (my daughter was at her dads btw) they put her on cp.

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