Visitation for non bio father after cpp put in place

Misswaste19
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 7:58 pm

Visitation for non bio father after cpp put in place

Postby Misswaste19 » Mon Apr 23, 2018 5:10 pm

Hi.

My daughter has recently been put on a child protection plan due to me and my ex partner admitting to her witnessing dv in our household.
I have accepted that I am not to resume my relationship with him.

However my daughter aged 4 is constantly crying and asking for her daddy.
She has spent two years with him and loves him dearly.

I am too scared to even suggest to my sw that I think she should have contact with him. I know he lives her so much and would do anything it takes to protect her.

Do I have any grounds whatsoever to even suggest contact?? He is not her biological father but we both see him that way. She is not sleeping at all. She cries all night saying she wants to go home to daddy.
I feel so guilty for allowing this to happen

Any advice welcome

Many thanks

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2083
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Visitation for non bio father after cpp put in place

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:10 pm

Dear misswaste19,

Welcome back to the Parents Forum.
I can see that you have suffered domestic violence and you have separated from your partner and there is a child protection plan in place.
Children services and the other professionals involved with your daughter will be monitoring your family. You and your daughter should also receive support to help both of you recover from the trauma.
I can see your daughter witnessed you being attacked and hurt by your exe. This is likely to have had an adverse effect on her health and wellbeing. It must have felt very scary to see her mum being harmed. Do you know what therapy or other support she will be receiving?

Your question is about your daughter having contact with your exe because he was a father figure in her life. It is unlikely that he will have a right to contact because he is not father. However, he may be able to apply for permission from the court to apply for a contact order. He could get legal advice from the child law advice line about the process. Private law is not within the remit of family rights group.

You want to ask your social worker whether she will allow your daughter to have contact.
You exe’s risk to your daughter is very high, so it is highly unlikely that the social worker would agree to this happening.
Your daughter is on a child protection plan, so the professionals at the child protection conference would have suspected that your daughter had either suffered significant harm or was at risk of being harmed or abused by your exe.

To push forward with this, may be evidence that you are not taking those risks seriously.
But given your daughter is asking to see him, it is important to be honest with the social worker about this.
You should let her know what your daughter is saying. The social worker may be able to work with your daughter (or help you to) around her missing your exe.
She is bound to have very mixed views about him. On the one hand, she sees him as a father figure in her life but on the other hand she has witnessed him abuse you.

What does the child protection plan say if your exe was to have contact? Would children services consider action to remove your daughter from you? If so, do you have family or friends (connected people) who could care for her?
Here are FAQ’s about domestic violence.

I hope this advice helps but please post back if you have any questions or you could call our confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Misswaste19
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: Visitation for non bio father after cpp put in place

Postby Misswaste19 » Thu Apr 26, 2018 10:44 am

Hi thank you for your reply. I agree that my daughter witnessed our violence. There is absolutely no chance I would consider contact with him if it would result in her being removed from my care.

I just hate to see her like this. He was her best friend. He would have never harmed her however I. Understand their views on it still being harm as she witnessed violence.

The care plan only states that I am not to resume my relationship which I have accepted.

There is also the issue of his immediate family who have also played a significant role to her. She misses all of them dearly.

I just feel it is not in my daughters best interest to not have contact. However if that's what it must be I will accept that too.

She is to participate in play therapy soon to help her deal with what's happened and the upheaval.

Many thanks


Return to “Getting your voice heard”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests