Removal at birth need advice

Heartbrokenmom1606
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 6:02 pm

Removal at birth need advice

Postby Heartbrokenmom1606 » Fri Apr 13, 2018 12:52 pm

Bit of a long post but I don't know where to turn so please help and please no judgment!
Basically in 2011 I had care of my 3 children. I was in a bad relationship, they were on a child protection plan due to concerns of neglect, myself not engaging with services. I was severely depressed but didn't know at the time I was 19 with 3 children under 4. I didn't want to engage as I was scared they would take my children I also smoked weed and just couldn't function which they didn't pick up on they just used to turn up as and when to check my home and the children no actual support. My middle daughter then had unexplained injuries to both elbows which I, my partner at the time and my brother who were all involved with them at the time could not explain. We put it down to a fall she had the previous day but when i seen how bad her arms were I immediately rushed her to the hospital where we were accused of it being one of us. They removed my children and took them into the care of my paternal aunt. Still severely depressed which no-one still didn't seem to notice I went through the blur of court proceedings, only 20/21 at the time with no real idea of what was happening. I pretty much rolled over and took it looking back on it all. They found the injuries to be non accidental but could not say which of us 3 it was so we were left in a pool of perpetrators and they call it a Lancashire finding. They recommended that the children were not returned to my care and I was to have 6 visits yearly with them. I knew nothing in regards to appeals or any kind of medical paperwork I could have requested. Like I said I was in a big black pit of depression unable to get out just wanting to end it all I couldn't even attend the final hearing. They continuously failed me, not inviting me to and LAC reviews, keeping me informed of my children's progress ECT. I finally got myself sorted a few years back but by then contact had broken down i was getting none and every time I tried to establish this i fell flat on my face with constant changes in social workers, ignoring all my calls and texts, acting like I hadn't even attempted to try. So now 7 years after they were removed I am in a stable relationship with the partner I had when all this happened, we split at the time but rekindled 3 years back. We are both two different people now, both work full time, more mature. So last July I found out I was expecting. It was a shock as I always said I wouldn't have any more but I had a previous termination when my children were removed for fear of them taking that baby something that goes against all my beliefs! This time I refused to put myself through that again and thought it would be different this time. That they would see the drastic changes I had made in my life and let us be parents to this baby. I self referred at 12 weeks pregnant due to wanting things to get moving quickly as I knew they would want involvement due to my previous children. I heard not a thing until I was 5 months gone where someone came out to initially assess us. It was then left another 2 months before I received a letter stating we had to attend a conference meeting. I was 28 weeks at this time. We attended where I finally received a copy of the initial assessment, something I should have received via post like promised or at least 24 hours prior. It was dropped on me 30 mins before conference was due to start. I got extremely upset as all it said was what happened in the past, none of the positives , by this point we had moved in with my mom in law for support, bought everything our son needed to bring him home no expense spared. We hadn't even a social worker to turn to as one hadn't been allocated. We finally got one allocated 29 weeks into my pregnancy. She was terrible. She has done nothing. No assessments have been done, no pre birth or risk assessments of myself or my partner. She hardly visited and when she did all she wanted to know was why one of us wouldn't admit to injuries we know we didn't cause. We had another conference 3 weeks ago by now I am 36/37 weeks pregnant. I have gone above and beyond to keep them in the loop I write everything down in a diary to keep myself covered I have attended birth prep and breastfeeding workshops along with my partner. My midwife and hv have expressed their concerns for my health and the stress it is causing me and my baby and have been so supportive, they believe there is no concerns and we should be allowed to bring this baby home . The IRO of our conferences also expressed concern as to why I'm 3/4 weeks away from giving birth yet nothing has been done in regards to assessments. She put deadlines on them for them not to be met. The social worker then took it to legal gateway a week later 3 weeks from my due date without any assessments and they recommended an ICO and removal at birth. This has broken my heart as that is the last thing I want i am willing to do anything to keep my baby boy. I am now 3 days overdue, no assessments completed and 2weeks ago the social worker allocated left the social so we were left without a social worker up until 7 days ago. They are still saying removal at birth. Do you think this will stand in court? I am willing to do whatever even if it means a residential 200/300 miles away. Every professional I have involved has said how well myself and partner have engaged with services, how we have both been fully open and honest and gone above and beyond what most pregnant couples do. We both work hard I am currently on maternity leave atm but I have a full time job to go back to and my partner works full time plus overtime. I want to breastfeed also but this has put so much upset on me I've been hospitalised over it. I know when he is born that's when they can take it into court but what do you think will happen? We both have a good solicitor I just worry a judge will only look at the last and not the positive changes we have made over the last 6/7 years. Surely any self respecting judge will say no way without any assessments being done? It's not like I've hidden away from this I referred myself at 3 months pregnant and took it head on to be let down once again. Please please help any advice I will truly be greatful and will answer any questions anyone has. Thank you in advance
P.s there is much more to this in regards to the failings that S.S have done I just didn't want to put it all as the post is already huge but I am willing to add more if needsbe. They know they have failed as I have complained along with my IRO and now they are apologising to me. Not good enough.

k1212
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:50 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Postby k1212 » Fri Apr 13, 2018 4:54 pm

Hi i wish i could offer you some peace but all i can say is i know how u feel and what its like to 'remain in the pool of perpetrators' i too have been too scared to have any more children, i will pray for you. Please let me know how u get on i will be thinking of you

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2023
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Removal at birth need advice

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:34 am

Dear heartbrokenmom1606

Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, FRG's online adviser. You also posted the same query under the “Do you have a child in care?” thread where I have provided a full response.

Please see the response posted under “Do you have a child in care?”.

Best wishes

Suzie, FRG Adviser


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