Social services and police ruining my lives

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Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2016 9:40 am

Social services and police ruining my lives

Post by Gutbuster » Wed Jul 20, 2016 11:34 am

Thank you for taking the Time to read this I'm a 33 year old male who lives with his wife *** (*) and 3 children*** (8) *** (7)**** (4) (***are my step Childen although they are treated as my own) I've been in there lives since *** was 1 1/2 years old. My step children's father doesn't want to know them as a result I'm there father there is no other father figure and I'm pictured by them and me as there father.

We are a out going family who spend Time camping and going out to museums and the coast continually normally however this has all been put on hold while my world is continually thrown into a spin. Not being allowed to do anything as a family whilst this is ongoing and no signs of ending any time soon.

With all this my wife is disabled and requires daily care and help with basic items like cooking, bathing and getting up in morning I'm currently helping where I can and she's having to bath ext at her mothers. To complicate things even more my wife is now pregnant expecting early December. But with everything she's struggling also dealing with everything. This is only going to get worse as pregnancy progresses.

I'm currently being investigated as of the ***** 2016 for allegedly biting my stepson however this is not true and he is trained in martial arts and kicked me in mouth whilst climbing a ladder into his bunkbed at which he was kicking off smashing up his room and kicked me and as a result a mark was left on his leg. I've continued to be told if I admit I bite him I would be given a caution and allowed home. ( I've done nothing wrong why admit something I didn't do to end this early and end up with a record). This is by both *** and *** (children's services).

Continually being told by both social services and the police to admit that I've bitten him and its now feeling like I'm being punished by not being allowed home or the be as part of a family. Especially as being told if I admit I'd be allowed home by both agencies. Also being advised by several professionals and even social there is likely to be no further action as there is likely to be insufficient evidence to support a charge of assault. It's seems like they are using this period of time as my punishment for what has happened as there is not likely to be any thing happen and me not admitting something that I didn't even do.

I've never been in trouble with police or any one else for any such offence before it is being told waiting on reports constantly. Also I'm having to constantly inform them of different things. I.e why haven't they interviewed my wife and why is the children's medical history been obtained yet. Then being told after I asked them to obtain that it hasn't it been obtained where now having to get these you will have to wait while we investigate this. Also 3 weeks ago medical reports received but as yet still haven't even looked/read them.

Social services are currently only allowing weekly contact with my step children whilst the investigation is in place. However I'm allowed full contact to my biological son as long as bail is adired to. surely if they thought I was a threat this would be stopping all contact but I see my son every day. It's so hard I love all my kids.

As of the end of May I'm living in the boot of my car luckily it's a 7 seater with a large boot. I have had to get my Solictor to get them to change my bail explaining I've got nowhere to go but there of the opinion that I must have somewhere although what was agreed has been changed by my Solictor the officer in charge has refuse to acknowledge that this part is agreed to be dropped ( have this from my Solictor in writing but the officer in charge is refusing to accept this).

I've managed to obtain the occasional night sofa surfing and camping in my caravan but I'm struggling to afford to eat and sleep in proper accommodation. I've been in contact with several charities and housing services who all say as I'm a male there is no legal responsibility to help me.

On ****** I was told again they are still waiting on different things and not to attend as I would be rebailed my bail was allowed to elapse. When I contacted them they didn't even realise and being the person I am if hadn't told them I'd be off bail potentially according to my Solictor.

On ringing her today was told they haven't read through reports and that I should just wait after explaining that I'd been in contact with cps and my local mp ( ****). She called me a liar that cps won't speak to me full stop and after me asking again for a update she got disgruntled as with a temper in the tone of her voice. We are very busy and we are currently looking at possible other offences when asking her what she just gets more annoyed getting louder saying that I should do what I have to do as she is busy I'm being told by cps and mp to get the latest.

I'm now struggling as I've now been rebailed until the *******2016 if this continues at this rate I will be away from my family for months over the school holidays especially this is ridiculous pls help me if possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read this

*****Edited by Suzie to comply with the forum rules about confidentiality
Any help is gladly accepted

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Social services and police ruining my lives

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Jul 22, 2016 4:11 pm

Dear Gutbuster

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum. My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

Thank you for making your first post as I see you joined the forum some time ago.

I am sorry that you find yourself is such a difficult and distressing situation due the children services with your family.
It seems that as a result of your stepson making an allegation against you that he police and children services are carrying out their own respective investigation. You have not said in your post whether children services are carrying out s47 (child protection) enquiries or not. Children services should have made a decision very early after receiving the referral what steps they intend to take. I am including our advice sheet which explains what should happen when children services receive a referral.

The current situation must be very difficult for all the family especially as your wife is pregnant has health limiting issues and for whom your provided support and care.

I understand your frustration being away from your wife and the children but because there has been an allegation that a child has been physically harmed, this is why you have been asked to be away from the home. Also, because the police are also investigating there might be concern that the child in question might be pressured into changing what they said or not feel safe. To you, this is not something that think will happen but that is why the bail conditions have been met.

You could consider putting in writing to the social worker, the team manager and Head of Children Services, the concerns you have about the way the case is being managed, ask for clarification of what children services intend to do and the timescale for completing any investigation/enquiries. Child protection enquiries can take up to 45 working day.

It is important that you understand that even if the police do not decide to pursue the matter, this does not mean that children service will not continue with their own investigation. The reason for this is that the police and children services are looking at different things. The police is seeking evidence that could lead to a successful prosecution and children services is concerned about about safeguarding the children from harm or risk of harm. You should keep and copy of your letter.

If you want to consider whether you should make a formal complaint, please read our advice sheet about this here.

Regarding the suggestion that you should admit to hurting your stepson for the case to end, I think it is important that you discuss this with your solicitor as it could have implications for you in the future should there be a further allegation made against you.

Please read our advice sheet about child protection enquiries and family support which I have included for your further information.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes


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