Need advice please!

Sunshine2018
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 1:01 am

Need advice please!

Postby Sunshine2018 » Fri Sep 21, 2018 8:45 pm

Hi there any advice would be great as I am at the stage I just don’t know what to do anymore
Please don’t judge me with things, I have tried to be open as I can but I am currently in a situation with social services,

I separated with my sons dad two years ago and he moved out to be with another woman and live with her children, after two years I have moved back to where my family live as I was 6 hours away from them before but due to unable to find a home close by as house prices are very expensive I looked further down south so I’m about an hour from them , I have now settled in a permanent address with my two children where my children’s father is not happy with as he doesn’t like it I am resuming my relationship with my current partner who I have been with for over a year. I met my current partner back in June last year and he was with me and my children until December, my children’s father does not like him and he made an allegation to social services that my current partner had hit my son and my son was questioned by police at his dads house as it was done on a weekend he had contact with them, my son did state it was true but it is also stated he was confused and wasn’t specific my son was 4 at the Time and has autism, this allegation was made in December after 7 months of my partner being around me and my kids, my kids adore him.( since then my son has said it is untrue and has told people this) Stupidly my current partner went out and committed an offence of burglary and break ins which he in incarcerated for until early February next year.

My children also got took off me for one month just because of this allegation made and my partner was in prison and the social still would not allow my children home until a month later even though there was no risk,

Since then I have had social services from my new arrangement involved and they have done an assement on myself and children and are very happy with everything and have closed it down to a step down case to a family support worker who has now said she feels like she doesn’t need to be involved and my children has told them they miss my partner also. But my children’s father is now in court with me to fight for custody as he has tried throwing out all sorts of accusations about my parenting capability saying I can’t cope and just all sorts! which I do have substantial evidence to deem as not true so the only thing he is using against me is my current partner saying he poses a risk to my children when he is released, looking back I do completely understand and see where the risk was last year as he started taking drugs and he was under the influence of drugs at the times of the offence. I never saw him take any kind of drugs around my home or children but he is clean off drugs and just wants to come out and go back to work and turn his life around, I have tried to seek legal advice many times which I am unable to do as I do not qualify for legal aid so can only ask for free advice from certain sources, me and their father was in court last week and he came with a barrister, and it was recommended by the barrister that a section 7 would need to be carried out to see where the children will live and we are back in court just before Christmas, my home is fine my children are very happy in school I have my son who is 5 and daughter who is 3 and they are constantly asking where my partner is as they miss him, and my son is having sleepless nights as he is worried he is going to be living with his dad as this is what his dad has told him, if there is any sort of advice you can please give me to suggest what more I can do to prove my partner has changed or atleast be given the chance it was very big mistake what he has done but he has done his time inside for it and all my children want is to see him but they are not aloud any direct or indirect with him as he poses a risk, I do completely understand the risk posed regarding his criminal background and use of drugs, he has no domestic violence history, I just don’t know what more I can do as my children’s fathers family are very bitter and are trying everything they can for him never to be near my children again, their father does drugs himself which social are more than aware of but say nothing, he is more than happy to do risk assessments etc. I just don’t know where I stand with all of this? I have never been asked to choose between my children and partner or asked to sign anything, everything with children services has all been done without court involved and also cafcass were involved and they basically rang me for 5 minutes before the first court hearing as we have had two both adjourned and they just asked what my intentions are at court and all I said was contact with their father then the next thing they wrote a safeguarding letter to court recommending after having spoke with their father that the children should live with him as of all the rubbish and lies their dad told them? And they wrote that without even meeting me or my children or doing welfare checks, but that safeguarding letter is no longer any use as it was wrote months ago and because the local authority’s are doing the section 7 cafcass are no longer involved, also if i have been passed down to a step down case I’m not quite sure if I would be back into a child in need case for the section 7, I have complied and been very honest about everything but I now just want to finalise this and move forward in our lives, any advice would be very grateful. Thank you

Kami2018
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Kami2018 » Sat Sep 22, 2018 12:14 pm

The problem that may occur regarding your partner in prison is if he poses any kind of risk they will have to risk assess him on or before release if he's involved with probation in jail or when he's released and as children's services took the allegation from your children's father serious enough to remove your children from your care for a period of time that says to me that they were assessing the situation and chose to return your children on the understanding your partner was in jail aswell what I do know is that children's services if they feel he poses any kind of risk will I assume on his release want a full risk assessment , regarding your family court situation I would not have a clue about that as every case is different but i do know if children services deemed your children to be at any risk at present then they wouldn't step it down to family suport but can I suggest u phone ur social worker and be totally honest about what u want when your partner is released from prison and then she can tell you what she thinks he will or won't be able to do reguarding your children and him . Also a family court can order that your partner have no contact with your children if they see or deem he poses by kind of risk and your ex partner being kids dad can also state to them his wishes about that and will have to be considered because he is there father hope this helps

Kami2018
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Kami2018 » Sat Sep 22, 2018 12:18 pm

Can i ask who decided that you can't allow ur children to have direct or indirect contact with your partner because that's a massive reason for thinking someone thinks he poses a great dealing risk to them I my just add that children's services might not have asked you to sign any agreement as of yet because ur partner being in prison at present but that may change on his release and certainly if he poses a risk probation will alert children's services on his release and the information bout that

Sunshine2018
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 1:01 am

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Sunshine2018 » Sat Sep 22, 2018 12:37 pm

Hiya thank you for your reply, there was no investigation or arrests made over the allegation, it was the social services who said he is not aloud indirect or direct contact with him, I have fully told my social worker and also family support worker that he is more than happy for risk assessments and probation checks etc, my family support worker has said she hopes he’s clean off drugs and come out and turn his life around etc, I guess it’s just a waiting game and to carry on being honest with the local authorities. Even if he comes out and has assemesments done on him, my ex will never stop as he doesn’t like the fact I’ve moved on with my life, but I just feel like he is deserved a chance as he does have children himself and has never had any domestic violence,child abuse or sexual abuse criminal history, my son has told them he hasn’t hurt him and just misses him and can’t understand all of it, but doesn’t help when he goes to his dad and his dad tells him I’m going to be arrested and talks about my partner to my son, which I have brought up several times to my social worker about this, but I shall keep talking to my family support worker about this and see how forward we can get with the situation, thank you for your advice

Kami2018
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Kami2018 » Sat Sep 22, 2018 2:15 pm

Your very welcome as you say keep complying with the authorities and express how you feel and what u want but I must tell you that if social services stated that your partner is not allowed direct or indirect contact with your child whilst in jail I can't see them allowing this when he's released hun at the moment children's services would have no safe guarding issues because he's serving time in prison , but I'm assuming as hes not allowed any contact whilst in there he for sure won't be allowed when released and if he does I assume they will open child protection enquirys but I don't know for sure tbh, when Suzie a online advisor sees your post and replies she will be able to advise u better .

Sunshine2018
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 1:01 am

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Sunshine2018 » Sat Sep 22, 2018 2:54 pm

Thank you for your advice hun It’s much appreciated, they mainly said he was a risk due to the allegation but if it’s prooved he hasn’t hurt my son and he’s clean of drugs there shouldn’t be a risk but yes your right we’re just have to see how things go and speak to the authorities as I just want all this mess finished with, thanks

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:14 pm

Dear Sunshine2018

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

I can see that you have had some exchange of posts with Kami2018.

Your partner is currently prison as a result of his criminal behaviour burglary and break-ins and due to be released in February. You previously had childen’s services involvement due to allegations made to them by your children’s father and it appears that this led to our children being placed on child protection plans.

Having moved to a new local authority area, your case was referred and the new children’s services carried out their own assessments (I assume there was a child protection review when they became involved.) and your case has been stepped down to child in need and you have the support of a family support worker.

From your post, it is clear that you want to be able to live with your new partner on his release together with your children because you believe that he is now drug free and ready to turn his life around.

Unfortunately, your children’s father does not wish his children to live with your partner and you and he has now made an application to the court for a child arrangement order for the children to live with him. You are concerned about what has happened at court so far.
In relation to the Cafcass safeguarding report you state that the Cafcass officer said your children should live with their father. This is surprising since that is not what the initial assessment is about. It is for Cafcass to identify any safeguarding issues after speaking with children services, the parents. The Cafcass officer was not assessing where the children should live. The cafcass officer always has to do this initial report for the first hearing when an application is made to the court.

The purpose of the section 7 report which the court always asks to be done is to make recommendations to the court after meeting with the parents and children. The children will be asked in an age appropriate way what their wishes and feelings are about who they live with. The background of previous children’s services involvement with the family will be mentioned.

Your partner’s criminal background you say is an issue, does he have convictions for offence other than burglary? If you think he is drug free you could ask if he can be tested. Also, if you say the father is also a drug user ask for him to be tested as well.

The section 7 report will be done by a social worker in your current local authority area and you say they are happy there are no safeguarding issues and the children are no longer on child protection plans. This would be something in your favour.

It will be for the judge to make the final decision after considering all the evidence and the welfare of your children to decide where they will live. The children's welfare is the court's paramount consideration in making the decision.

This is a private law case started by your children’s father and this appears to be your main concern. As you are not represented, I suggest you make contact with Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 for advice. You may also be able to get advice from Rights of Women on 020 7251 6577. If you are able to you could pay for a solicitor to represent you just at the hearing if you are not eligible for legal aid.

If you have any concerns regarding children’s services you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

Sunshine2018
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 1:01 am

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Sunshine2018 » Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:30 pm

Hi suzie, thank you for your reply,

Yes that’s correct, I only have a family support worker now so I can speak to her about concerns about things, I shall defiantly call the child law centre and rights for women to ask for some advice, thank you very much :)

Cat
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:15 pm

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Cat » Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:32 pm

Please be so careful with cafass. And be so very mindful what u say to any social worker lovely. Go to see the advice people in the courts if u don't have a solicitor. Sorry I carnt remember what they are called. Say a little as possible and always remember don't trust social servicers, iam not sayin there all rotten to the core. But they are only in a job because of mums like us. You could do with out others throwing in the spanner. If ure like me the bloody spanner hit my head. My ex didn't care about our two but I don't know yours and I do know there our some good dad's out there. If they are saying ure fellow carnt be around your little people they r really saying choose. How bad r they. My heart goes out to u. I've tryed to message u and how do i add u as a friend please. Iam rubbish with techno stuff xxx

Sunshine2018
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 1:01 am

Re: Need advice please!

Postby Sunshine2018 » Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:45 pm

Hi cat, thank you for your reply, I’m not sure how you add people on here as I’m all new to this but update is - social services have closed case and also my family support worker has closed the case down and it’s just school involved now for just any concerns raised and there very supportive and I have had meetings etc with them. Went to court and the dads barrister asked for a section 7 to be done but it still hasn’t been requested and back in court December so not sure how that shall be carried out as the children would need to be with their dad for it, they have also stated when partner is out of prison that it would just be school involved and if any issues were raised than they would report to social worker as there was no evidence or proof on things and social have done their assessments and are very happy with things so I am hoping all this nightmare is coming to an end and their dad will just stop his lies and poison as the only ones it’s affectjng is the kids here he was supposed to have them for October holidays and he is now refusing to arrange it with me even though in court it was arranged so will just have to wait and see what court brings x


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