Honestly cant see the light

[ange301126]

Warthog,I hope everything goes okay for you and I hope I and the other parents have managed to switch you on as to some of the tricks they are likely to pull.
It does not really fit in with her comment to you that it was to be a standard social work assessment and not personal when she refuses to conduct it along with your support worker does it? I understood,having taken part in such an assessment myself, that it had to be undertaken by TWO qualified social workers at every session,with each alternating between asking questions and taking down your answers for the minutes.You have to sign and date all answers you give and sign the minutes at the end of each session.Perhaps Suzie could inform us all what the correct procedure is.

The problem is ,warthog, that if core assessments are not carried out according to correct procedure ( and it doesn't seem to have been) and if this assessment isn't either that will affect everything. The wrong assessments will be sent to all including the Guardian and the psychologist who will accept them as authentic. Thus their respective assessments will not have any real face-value either.

[warthhog123]

Ange, I wont be signing anything without reading it through first! sw says all assessments are done 1 to 1. I keep journals every day about what is happening and been said, also i intend to in my final evidence bring up the comment made that not a single word i say can be believed this was also witnessed by das worker and she will also be documenting this.
No matter what they dig for they will be held accountable by my solicitor and make no mistake if phy report goes in my favour my sec 20 will be revoked! I am not taking this lying down and it will be very hard journey but i have got through everything else **** in my life so i will just get stronger until i get what i deserve! I will decide at later date if local mp is needed or anyone else for that matter! If they decide it is on the grounds of parenting skills and mental capability that my son can not be returned i will go against this as if this was to be the case my son should have been removed at birth! plus i was married for 7 years with no dv and raised my 17 year old daughter with no imput from sc, yes ive had depression but have still remained a good parent.
they will have to provide concrete evidence to keep my son! they cant even use taking my ex back now as i quite clearly told them in new relationship and moving on.

[warthhog123]

Quick update court was 19th April, sc were instructed to sort out unsupervised contact through activities not yet been achieved. phy assessment to be filed 15th june,4th july sc to file assessment, 5th july court to discuss out come of phy assessment, 13th july my final evidence, 20th july guardian to file then final hearing 26/27th july. All very quick but dependant on phy findings.

[Esme, Moderator]

Hi Warthhog

It's really positive that the court has given instructions about unsupervised contact. And it sounds as though you have a good solicitor on your side. Is the solicitor following up the unsupervised contact for you?

How is your son now? I hope he is fully better and that you are enjoying your contact time together.

Best Wishes

Esme

[warthhog123]

Hi Warthhog

It's really positive that the court has given instructions about unsupervised contact. And it sounds as though you have a good solicitor on your side. Is the solicitor following up the unsupervised contact for you?

How is your son now? I hope he is fully better and that you are enjoying your contact time together.

Best Wishes

Esme

Unsupervised contact in the home is starting next week as i am weaning my son, everyone is trying to ensure my sons needs are met so contact times have been changed to allow me to feed my son his lunch at home.
This apperentely will be re addressed once ex is realeased in 2 weeks, but will fight for it not to be changed as it isnt fair on my son.
Im how ever very upset to learn if ex becomes party to proceedings which is very likely then final hearing could be adjourned to allow for assessments on him, i feel this is only punishing me and my son further and thus keeping us apart longer! he has the right im told, but no one in their right mind is going to ever put forward for him to see his son so pointless exercise if you ask me.
I started this painful journey 8 weeks ago having been told contact would never take place in the home and not unsupervised, look at the change, im not getting too excited as i know things can change drastically and i still have long way to go, but i can only assume contact in the home is a good sign.
my son is rolling over, and ready for food, back to full health and thriving for this i am thankful.

[ange301126]

Warthog,if your ex is the child's father then he has every right to become party to proceedings and the social workers have no more right to prejudge him than you.He may have changed. He probably hasn't and is still probably a bit of a nutter but you must let the court decide. If you have finished with him and have a new partner then the best he can hope for is regular contact with the child.After his previous behaviour and imprisonment,I suggest any contact must be supervised.You have to judge him on face value when he is released.If he hasn't learnt his lesson and continues to harass you and molest you ,call the Police immediately.You have finished with him and have a new partner. On no account let him see or communicate with your child unless under an order of the Court.

[warthhog123]

Ange, hell will freeze over before i ever communicate with my ex!
Not a good day yesterday, yes i can have unsupervised contact from monday in the home but now been told its only til exs release, which is to be 5 days, so my boy gets to come home and start been weaned for 5 days then both he and myself must travel 20 miles every day to contact centre due to ex been risk!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how in gods name is my son ever to be returned if they are moving contact so far away? why has it taken them until the final week to allow unsupervised contact, when he has been inside for 11 weeks!!! they said contact in the home would never happen in the begining, to grant me it for 1 week, i feel this is not fair on my son what so ever!
I really do appreciate my ex is a risk but that isnt about to change until he changes and you could be talking months or years so how long must my son and i suffer on the grounds they dnt know what he would do!
SW says even supervised contact at home isnt an option as ex could break in, he has never tried to break in and i have rapid response panic alarm straight to the station.
Im so mad as im suffering and so is my son, im making all the changes doing all the meetings yet absolutely nothing is to happen to my ex!!!!
Really struggling to understand, the justification in new developments, to be offered something for 5 days to prepare get so excited to be told the next day all change!
My next session for assessment is in the home with my son, pointless exercise when they have clearly stated once ex out there is never to be contact in the home.
Also next session i have been told to think about is crunch time i have to explain and convince soical care i will never take ex back and i must explain what has changed as ive said it all before!!!

[ange301126]

dear warthog, I can only guess but it is possible that the Guardian had something to do with arranging the contacts at home. Otherwise the s.w. would not have agreed to it on her past form.Ask your solicitor to contact the Guardian with regard to these latest plans .Maybe he can convince her that you are able to protect the child from your ex.( together with your new partner and his family) and some different arrangements can be made. I presume the non-molestation order still stands and the Police will arrest him immediately if he comes near your house,telephones or molests you in any other way. It will be harmful to your son's health to be away from you. The social worker is exercising caution which is UNREASONABLE and the baby is at more risk in care as he would if at home with you.Best of luck.
p.s. did you get a tape recorder as murray suggested to record the assessment sessions?

[warthhog123]

I didnt get tape recorder as solicitor said un advisable and she believes whole heartedly nothing can be used against me through these assessments.
I have wrote to my solicitor as she has been on holiday for last week so have sent full update on events and will wait to hear from her, sc didnt say why home contact had been allowed but i do know the guardian said at our meeting she didnt understand why contact wasnt taking place in the home.
I should find out today if ex has been charged with breeches but wont hold my breath.
PANIC!!!! just got call to say psychological assessment to be done tomorrow and monday!!!!!
Feel sick now, this assessment is the key to whether final court dates remain and chance of getting my son home!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Warthog

It is normal to feel anxious about the psychological assessment. Just try to engage with it as best as you can. Listen carefully to all the questions, before answering. If there is anything you are not sure about, say so.

Remember, the aim of the assessment is not to catch you out, but to help to inform the court about their decision making about your son's possible reunification to your care.

Try not to lose sight of the good progress that you have made so far, so you can remain focussed on seeking a positive outcome for you and your son.

By now, you will probably know about the outcome of the breach's regarding your ex partner.

Best Wishes


Suzie