How to deal with Children’s Social Services

[TaleOfAMan]

Firstly not all social workers are bad. I had the fortune (or misfortune) to work with two different units. The first one was very good and soon had a positive impact on our lives. My experience with the second unit has led me to write this advice.
Judicial powers
Children’s Social Services like to point out that they have no judicial powers. That much is true. Any big decision affecting a child has to be made by a court. However, the court bases its decision on the report by Children’s Social Services and seldom any other information. This way Children’s Social Services yields an incredible power, because they can influence the information which is passed on. Of course a report can be challenged in court, but this can be costly and/or difficult or the information needed to challenge the report is not available.
Information
Because of the above, it is essential to have all available information. Therefore make an Access to Data request immediately to access your own data, but also on behalf of the children. This request needs to be for data held now and all future data. If the files relating to the children are redacted, insist that the children have an advocate. They have the right to one and make sure that the advocate makes the same request on behalf of the children and checks that the children’s view are represented in the reports truthfully. Insist that the children are seen with a chaperon. The chaperon can relate to the advocate if they have doubts about the social workers conduct such as leading and one-sided questions.
An Access to Data request needs to be fulfilled within 40 working days. It took over 10 months in my case before I received the first files. By then the final decision had been made at court. Therefore you have to follow up your request and make sure it is dealt with in the time frame. You also have to make the request again and again to make sure you have any new data.
I have experienced information being withheld and manipulated, and on occasions there were outright lies. Whenever there is an instance of such behaviour log it with the social worker in question and with their superior. Just state the facts, do not imply any intention on their part. This brings me to my next point of communication.
Communication
You have the statutory right to choose how you want to communicate, may it be directly via telephone calls, by text or by email or by letter. Text or email cannot be refused, on the grounds that they are insecure methods to transmit confidential information, because all councils have to have a system in place with which electronic information can be transmitted securely.
If English is not your first language you have the right to an interpreter.
If your social worker insists on communicating by phone and refuses that these telephone calls are recorded, be wary. Recording is in everybody’s interest, because interaction will be more civil since it will be easy to prove any abusive behaviour and it is easier to clarify a misunderstanding, since there is a record what exactly was said. If there is no recording, the social worker can excuse many things as an unfortunate misunderstanding or, more sinisterly, discredit you, by claiming that you were abusive on the phone when you were not. Often a second social worker is quoted as witness. This happened to me. Therefore my advice is, if your social worker insists on unrecorded telephone conversations, say you first have to fetch a witness for the telephone conversation. Ideally this witness should not be emotionally involved with the case that is not a friend or family member. Colleagues at work or a priest, cleric are a good choice, if possible. Then during the telephone conversation, repeat everything which is said to you, to make sure you and your witness have understood correctly. After I implemented this, there were no claims of abusive language anymore. Also insist on a written record of the telephone conversation. This way the social worker cannot contradict themselves in future and claim it is an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Emotions
Do not show emotions, may it be anger, sadness, fear, desperation etc. neither to Children’s Social Services nor to your children. I know this is incredibly difficult. Children need stability. As much as your emotions are understandable, your children need to feel that they are safe and that also means they need to see that you are there to care for them. Emotions will be interpreted negatively by social workers. Be sure to make time for yourself to deal with your emotions. If necessary arrange for one friend to look after the children while you let yourself go, either with another friend or on your own.
Protect yourself
You should get advice from as many places as possible, for example the Citizen Advice Bureau or Women’s Aid, and there are many others, also small local ones. Especially find out what your legal position is and whether you are entitled to legal aid.
If you are coming out of an abusive relationship, you do not have to be in the same meetings as your abuser. You have the right to split meetings. However, especially if it was emotional abuse, you might not be believed. My advice is not to waste time trying to be believed. Emotional abuse in the past cannot be proven, unless you have witnesses. Do not let children be witnesses. They are too young and often, because they have grown up with this, they think the behaviour is normal. All my children described the emotional abuse which happened as arguments. It will take a very long time and them experiencing normal family life that they will be able to understand. They also believed, mum crying so much is a problem with her. That she is “mad”.
To protect yourself, consult your GP. Your GP also does not need to decide whether there was emotional abuse or not. Your GP only needs to assess whether attending the meetings has a negative impact on your emotional and mental well-being. If this is the case, they will recommend for you not to attend the meetings and information being exchanged in writing.
Social Services will advise you, that you can bring a friend or family member with you as support in meetings. However, I felt much more emotionally vulnerable with a support. There are also advocacy services available. In some circumstance you have the right to an advocate. Even if this is not the case, I recommend to get in touch with an advocacy service. They have very specific experience which results in advice you would not get from organisations such as Citizen Advice Bureau or Women’s Aid.
Lastly
Deal with your own issues. All the above advice is mute, if you have your own issues and you are not dealing with them. Be honest about them. Once you are honest about them, help is forthcoming. This was my experience with the first unit I worked with. It was very unfortunate that the second unit did adopt a different story line and the situation deteriorated to a worse state than it was when Children’s Social Services got first involved.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear TaleofAMan,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.

Thank you for sharing your experiences of children services. It is good to hear how you have approached different aspects of working with social workers and what you have found works when you communicate with them.

I am sure other users will find your advice very helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[Spinflight]

A simple app on your smartphone can automatically record all telephone conversations, also I recorded all meetings with social workers.

In the end though the judge refused to let me use these in court as I made a clear accusation of perjury towards the social worker and that I could prove it. In his judgement he then stated that it was merely our recollection that this or that had been said, and accused us fairly directly of lying.

The social worker didn't even bother to spell check the parenting assessment and the grammar was so poor as to make it's meaning unclear in places. Basically just a calculated insult. She claimed on the stand that her assessment had been diligently conducted over numerous sessions yet despite me being able to prove that most of it was fictitious and that she had made up the dates she claimed to have seen us, there was only one session in fact, the report was accepted in full.

The case recordings were absent ( as the meetings hadn't happened) however they merely allowed the SW to provide hand written notes of fictional meetings overnight. I however was not allowed to provide transcripts which proved her perjury.

Also regarding communications my experience was interesting. I did not receive a single communication of any sort between us moving areas and being allocated a social worker from a different LA and being informed that the LA was going to court to remove our children. This was 8 months and despite frequent and repeated attempts at both phone and email communication by myself. The LA refused to communicate via an insecure address, and then merely refused to communicate when I provided a secure one on the same system used by the SS.

Also I requested in December that any documents mentioning myself of my family were released to me. This was prior to instructing a solicitor. I never received anything despite further requests and pointing out that it was my legal right.

I also made 6 complaints. Again to no communication in return.

This was raised in court and also the fact that they freely emailed the grand parents on an insecure address.

Basically if they want to take your children, and they will, there is no way to stop them.

[Beanie]

Wow!

Reading those accounts of dealing with children's social services is like looking in a mirror and seeing reflections of my life at the moment.

My family and I are living the nightmare right now...and have been since May 2016. My daughter has been put on a Child Protection Plan and we have already had a pre-proceedings meeting - I wasn't given the chance to adhere to the Family Safety Plan put in place, they had already decided to go down the care proceedings route before the first core group meeting. My son escaped Child Protection, although he remains at Child in Need, only because of his age (he will be 18 in January!). My daughter will be 14 in December but nobody is listening to what she has to say, and I am being accused of not safe guarding her, all because I believe my husband to be innocent of allegations that have been made against him. It is scary to see how much power social services have and how they can stampede into the lives of a very normal, ordinary family, who have never had ANY issues or any disclosures made, and try to tear it apart.

We are being accused of anything the team manager can think of, with NO evidence whatsoever, just what she decides is happening in our home; and the children are basically ignored because they are not saying what social services want to hear (also my fault for 'creating an atmosphere not conducive for them to disclose'...even though they have said they have NOTHING to disclose!)

These have been the most stressful, anxiety ridden months of my life, and I can foresee them it all continuing for many more months to come. I have always been proud of my parenting skills, and my wonderful children, but this is enough to make me start believing I have been doing it all wrong for the last 17 and a half years.

Luckily for us, we are a strong family with an excellent, supportive friendship circle surrounding us, and we are standing firm. We will ride this storm together and come out stronger than ever before. Until then, wish us luck!

[321321]

You forgot to remind people to RECORD. Record, record, record. I cannot say this enough. Recording is easily done in secret without the knowledge of professionals. This is the best way because corrupt professionals will let their guard down and they will think they can get away with it if they don't think they are being recorded. If you can catch them out lying/contradicting themselves on audio or video it could save your ass in court. I cannot stress this enough.

[uphillstruggle]

I am in touch with a social worker-useless-who takes 2 weeks to reply to an e.mail by post, then states she cant reply to normal emails because of the "firewall" in place.
Have read on this page that they can reply to this,so is she lying? I am in NI btw.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Uphillstruggle

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. Thank you for you two posts regarding the situation you find yourself in at the moment.

I am sorry that you have been having such a difficult time regarding contact with your child. The only thing I can suggest is that you seek legal advice.

Unfortunately, the remit of our service does not include giving advice in respect of N.I. I suggest that you contact Parenting NI 0808 801 0722 and or N I Children Law Centre 0808 808 5678 who will, I hope, be better able to assist.

Sorry that I am not able to help you further.

Best wishes

Suzie

[tanker7]

is the Access to Data the same as Freedom of Information request and who do i make request the hed of social servisus