Christmas contact

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi All,

We are getting calls to our advice line about the difficulties of managing contact over Christmas when Children's Services (new name for social services) are involved. We'd be really interested in hearing from you about how you are dealing with the tensions that arise or what arrangements have been made. Please do post any advice you have for other parents or any questions you may have about your own situation.

Best wishes

Suzie

[ange301126]

we get contact with our children for two hours 2 or 3 days before Christmas when we are permitted to take them presents,cards etc. from us and the rest of the family.Currently all contacts take place at a public park and arranged in advance.Please note that the children have been in foster care for a number of years during which time they have not been encouraged or helped with sending greetings cards or presents to either mum or dad and have not been taught to send thank-you letters to other family.Like wise mum has received no mother's day card,(quite upsetting) and neither parent has received birthday cards and despite sending presentrs etc. to the children. Clearly, the 'foster' parents receive all the cards the children make at school for'mum' and 'dad' and must have conned the children that they are 'mum and dad'.Hope this information helps you|

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

dear Ange,
Thank you for posting. Hearing about your experiences around contact with your children is helpful. You have also raised the issue about the exercise of your parental responsibility-the fact that you would have encouraged your children to write and send cards which they are not being encouraged to do so by the foster carer-and how it can be frustrating. I don’t know whether you have discussed these difficulties with the independent reviewing officer.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[Murray72]

Hi Ange,
I have been in the same position with lack of cards and Birthday presents etc, I have raised the issue at LAC reviews and spoken to the IRO, Foster Carer does not see it as her responsibility to support my child with this and thinks the SW should do this. My Child has never sent a Birthday card to her Siblings in the 30 months since she has been in this placement.

The Carer's always report negative behaviour immediately after contact has taken place, and have even suggested that the Child would prefer contact not to take place. Questionable motives I think.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Murray 72

My name is Suzie, an advisor from the Family Rights Group.

I have responded to your post under 'lack of support' so please refer there for further advice.

Best Wishes


Suzie