Help please son threatened with being adopted

[SicilianRose]

Hi there,

I am writing as my 5 year old son is in foster care at the moment. I t is a very difficult time for me and I am hoping to meet other parents who are going through the same situation as myself. It has been ruled that my son cannot come home to me as it is believed by the social services that I have not made enough changes to have my son return to my care (however I disagree completely).

My Mother was assessed for an SGO and the viability assessment in the beginning was very positive until it came to the transition plan and it seems that the social workers conducting the plan and contact were unhappy with her because of such stupid reasons which we plan to challenge.

Anyway to cut a long story short, the LA's care plan is now for my son to be placed up for adoptions despite my wishes for him to come home or be placed in the care of my Mother. We have a tough job ahead to fight in court and persuade the judge that adoption is not in my sons best interest.

As I said I am hoping to meet any parents in the same sort of situation as me to share advice and information. If there is anyone out there who can relate to myself then please do get in touch asap.

Many Thanks


Edited by Suzie to remove personal details

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Sicilian Rose

Thank you for your post.

Can I just ask what your son's legal status is? Is he subject to any care or placement order, as this may effect the advice you are given here?

Best Wishes

Suzie

[SicilianRose]

Dear Suzie,

Thank you for your reply. My son at the moment is under an interim care order. The local authority are seeking a care order and placement order and will be asking the judge on the 18th and 19th of November to dispense with mine and my ex husbands parental responisbility and to place him up for adoption.

My family and I are trying desperately to have my son placed in the care of his grandmother, my Mother and the SGO assessments done on her were positive however they quickly changed their minds the 3rd day into the transition plan but allowed her to have several more contacts with her grandson before telling her that she was not recommended to care for him permanently. It feels to me that all of the so called professionals are against us. In many statements and reports they have written are a number of inaccurate facts and blatent lies. How do these people get away with doing this to families?? I have no idea.
They are abusing their authority I believe.

Suzie I am pretty much dealing with this on my own and trying to help my Mother at the same time but I am lost and confused and dont know what to do at the moment. I have read and commented on a couple of peoples posts on here and have found it useful to read some of your comments and advise.

Would you be able to point me any direction so that I can help my Mother gain custody of my Son.

I very much appreciate any help or advice I can get.


Many Thanks


Rose

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Sicilian Rose

Thank you for your reply.

I would have an urgent discussion with your solicitor about whether they think it would be worth them asking the judge for independent assessment to be completed on your mother, particularly if it was on the whole a positive one.

If she is considering applying for care of your son on a permanent basis, she could request to become party to the care proceedings and should be aware that many solicitors give 30 minutes free independent legal advice, so she could be able to speak to them about her options beforehand.

You will be aware that there is not much time, before the next court hearing. The courts are under pressure to ensure children do not experience delay in the court process, and that decisions about their long term future are made within a child's timescale.Therefore, I suggest you and your mother follow up these matters on an urgent basis.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[SicilianRose]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you for posting back on my thread.

My Mums been made a party to these care proceedings and I have successfully found her a barrister who will represent her in the court hearing next week.

I have many doubts about the Local Authirites and question whether they were do have childrens best interests are heart. I dont think they do at all. The are the most hideous people I have ever met. The amount of lies that have been told about my family and I is appaulling and shocking. I wish I could name the organisations involved and warn other parents away from them as they have proved to be two faced lying snakes.

The fight continues to try and get my son into his grandmothers care. I received a very upsetting letter last friday which was a letter from the family finding social worker informing that they have been searching for an adoptive family for my son, they have not been granted the care order or placement order yet but are already searching for permanent carers for my son which is heart breaking as I dont want to lose him.

I came on this site to meet other parents going through the same situation as me so we can share advice and informtation but no body seems to post anything.

[charmed1]

Dear SicilianRose. How did things go at court assuming it has completed now? We are facing a similar situation though we have no family that can help us and the care plan is adoption for both our children daughter 6 and son 4. We received a similar letter from the family finding team. I was so upset my husband had to read it for me. In our situation as our daughter has special needs they plan to start searching after they get the placement order. Our final hearing is 19th and 20th December so we are desperate to get our children home. We do not know even if we will see them over the Christmas period as they want to decrease our contact on top of everything. Just be strong.

[SicilianRose]

Dear Charmed1,

Thank you for your message. We have to return to court this afternoon to hear the verdict to which I am so scared about.

I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband are in a similar situation. It is very heartbreaking and I hope that it goes well for you both next month.

Like your daughter my son has been classed as special needs because of his emotional and behavioural difficulties.

Fingers crossed for you both that the LA do not get a placement order. Is there no chance of them both returning to you?

Today I will find out whether the judge will issue a care and placement order I hope to god that he doesnt and that he gives my mother the chance to be carer for my son.


Is there no one in your family that can take on your children?

Thank you. You two both keep strong and pray that things go well.

If you would like to talk I am here

Take Care

[Bitter Pill]

Hello SicilianRose

My heart twists while reading your posts as it reminds me of my dealings with Social workers, solicitors, barristers and all the other money grabbing ******** of the LA.

THE MOST important thing in these times is not to forget your self worth. For months now, I imagine, all kinds of people have been putting you down, exaggerating and lying about every single tiny flaw you may have as a parent, as if they're so perfect.

If your solicitor is anything like my ex partner's legal aid loser then I imagine that S/he is not inspiring confidence in you either.

You obviously want what's best for your children, that is why you are reaching out for help. Remember, they belong to you, you are there mother, the best place they can be is with you! You must never give in and never let any advocate tell you what is best when you know deep down that they are not speaking up enough for you.

You must do the work, look over every bit of paper work you have, all the contact notes, assessments, statements and anything else you have. Find the lies in there letters and find the contradictions in their own words. An example I can give you is during my partner's parenting assessment it was brought up in a positive way that she encouraged her son (18 months) with plenty of independence, allowing him choices and to do things for himself. However, in the final written assessment the same family worker wrote that she struggles to implement boundaries and allows her son choices to avoid confrontation and in doing so allows him to get his own way and causes him to have an anxious, unsettled bond with his mother. Have you ever heard anything like this? I suppose you will have.

Before I stopped attending contact with my partner we were told that our contact was one of if not the best one to observe, we were a loving, strong family unit. Of course we were, we didn't belong there....

Do not fall for their nice smile or their friendly voices. They are trying to take you child away from you! Be courteous and polite but don't bend over backwards for them, remember it is SHARED parental responsibility. They mess with your contact times or do anything yu know to be wrong you simply say, "is there a court order for that?" Threaten them with their own weapons and they soon cower away, they are not gods.

I honestly could rant all day but I'l leave it there because there's smoke coming out of my ears and my fire alarm has just set off!

Your not alone

XXXX

Edited by Suzie in accordance with FRG's Rules of Use and to remove personal information

[SicilianRose]

Dear XXXX,

Thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear that you, and your partner have both been involved with the LA.

You are completely right about everything you have said. These people the so called professionals do think that they are perfect and think that they can get away with lying and making things up.

Well unfortunately for me, they all go what they wanted. The Judge awarded them with a care order this afternoon and my mother and I lost. My son will now be in long term foster care until they manage to find adopters for him. It is so heart breaking that we find ourselves in this situation.

Your ex partner sounds like she's been through similar to myself and my mother. Yep i've heard all the same. My mother lacks insight, struggles to implement boundaries etc etc some of the things they say I agree with but others I dont.

Can I ask what happened in the end with your partner and her child?


You are absolutely right about the shared PR. The idiotic social worker screwed up my last contact with my son so I am fully intending to confront her about it and I will no longer bend over backwards for them.

Thank you so much XXXX it is good to know that I am not alone neither are you and your partner.

If you need to chat I am here


Take Care

XXXX

Edited by Suzie to remove personal information

[Bitter Pill]

I'm so sorry to hear that, XXXXX.

I can't believe they would they would put a 5 year old with complete strangers when he has bonded with his grandparents for his entire life! It's cases like yours, XXXXX, that further convince me there is more going on than meets the eye. The term "Adoption Targets" is evil and so immoral I can't believe it exists, and the money that Local authorities make from meeting these targets is ridiculous! You may have read about it while searching the web for advice.

Can you appeal? I think you must! There is still time.

Me and my ex don't speak now, for a few reasons, I believe her final hearing is soon.

I wouldn't want to take over this thread with my story but if you would like to ask me anything then feel free to send me a personal message.

XXXX

Edited by Suzie to remove personal information