Arrested

[dr Pepper]

Hi
This is my first post and wanted advice or suggestions etc on a sensitive matter
My Son was bullied throughout his school life and was very isolated with no friends, he was even stabbed in school and the offender was given restorative justice.
Jump to last year and he is now 20. He will not speak face to face to people he does not know, he will not even pay for anything with his debit card but gives it to another family member to pay for him.
He has never been in trouble with the police until October last year when he was arrested for "child grooming" He admitted everything to the police that he has been talking via snapchat/facebook to younger girls (14+) and sending nude pictures. He was released pending further investigations, the police said it was grooming as he said he would buy them gifts, which he never did nor did he arrange to meet anyone.
Social services assessed the household as we have young Grandchildren stay.
He has been assesed and diagnosed with Autism and was referred to a counsellor for depression before all this happened, the Counsellor has said he cannot help him and has referred him to a psychiatrist as he has "gone" above counsellor help.
The Autism report says he is very immature mentally and does not realise what he is saying/doing will offend people. He also finds comfort in buying stuff for people, gifts/take away food are delivered to the house out of the blue for the familiy.
He said he talks to younger people as they listen to him and gives him confidence, something he did not have at school.
He has a full time job in a warehouse (6 people max) he did work at a bigger warehouse and he woukd not talk to anyone or eat in front of others.
The police re-arrested him on his 21st Birthday in July and interviewed him about the messages on his phone, which he told them about on his first arrest in October
He was then bailed with conditions not to stay at our home address as his Sister has a 6 month old, and not have unsupervised access to anyone under 16
Adult social service have said he is a vulnerable adult
I am not making excuses for what he has done and he accepts whats done is done, what will happen if the police charge him with communication with a child, as i said we have had no trouble with the police before.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Dr Pepper

Welcome to the Family Rights Group (FRG) parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry that there has been a delay in responding to your post. I can see that you are very worried about your son and what will happen to him.

First of all, I have to let you know that we are not the best service to advise you on your son’s situation as he is over 18 and an adult – a vulnerable adult – with autism. I will try to signpost you and your son to information and services that might be able to help him more. Allegations of child grooming and child sexual exploitation are taken very seriously hence the police investigation. I can see that you do understand this and are not trying to minimise the impact on the children involved; you are just trying to understand the process and find a way forward for your son.

We advise on children’s services and situations involving children under 18. You have also had children’s services’ involvement and your son has had to live away from home, under his bail conditions, as you have a baby grandchild living with you and other grandchildren visiting. You haven’t asked any queries about the children’s services’ assessment but you are welcome to post here again or call our freephone advice helpline on 0808 8010366 which is open Mon to Fri and between 9.30 am and 3.00 pm to speak with an and adviser, if that would help. Once it is clearer what the outcome of the police investigation is children’s services should be in touch again to vary or update the current plan.

I think that this information from the Stop it now website may be useful in setting out what may happen as part of the criminal justice process. Your son may also have a criminal lawyer again who can advise you what to expect and how your son’s autism should be considered in the process. I would also definitely recommend that you and maybe your son give the Stop it Now helpline a call to get some specialist advice. It will be important to talk to them about your son’s autism and your understanding of how this affects his behaviour. They may also be able to provide you with information about a programme that may be able to help your son address this behaviour in the future. They also have a family and friends forum that you may find useful; the focus is on inappropriate or illegal online behaviour. I hope you may be able to get some advice and support via this forum for yourself as a concerned parent and grandparent.

Are you in touch with the National Autistic Society ? They may be able to suggest specialised assessments, support or programmes for people with autism who are involved in the criminal justice system.

Your son is recognised by Adult Social Care to be a vulnerable young adult – are they offering any support or service to him in recognition of his vulnerabilities or to you as his carer? If not, I think it is worth contacting them again about your son’s current situation to ask for their input.

You mention that your son’s counsellor is referring him to a psychiatrist; it may be worth chasing this up as well due to the current situation; they may be able to provide a report to the police or court if needed.

I hope this helps.

With best wishes

Suzie