What actually are my rights?

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QuestionMark
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:10 pm

What actually are my rights?

Post by QuestionMark » Wed Jan 29, 2020 11:58 pm

Child was given to their dad and he was granted a child arrangements order. We still have shared PR.

Findings made against me in May 2018 consist of:
Dishonesty,
Parental alienation
Pool of perpetrators (along with childs step dad)

I was granted 3 hours supervised contact a fortnight. This quickly progressed to 5 hours supervised a fortnight. Then to every Friday night through to Sunday midday, suppervised.

I was then granted unsupervised contact in July 2019, which felt well deserved after 2 years supervised with no concerns. Unfortunately my child received a small cat scratch and the CAO holder put supervised in place again. Since then, and up until today I have been seeing my child every Tuesday, Thursday and every other Friday through to Saturday midday.

Since Christmas my child has not wanted to go to nusery, crying that she wants me as I had her to her teachers. As comfort, she asks to take my lipstick that she plays with with her and I’ve allowed it. I assumed no harm done. Yesterday I was informed that she was trying to put lipstick on other children, and so I decided myself to not allow her to take lipstick anymore as of tomorrow.

Unfortunately I’m now not seeing her tomorrow, nor will I be seeing her during weekdays anymore as I received an aggressive text of CAO holder this morning telling me that he can’t trust me because of the lipstick issue and so I won’t be seeing my child anymore during the week. I pointed out that this was a severe reaction to a minor issue that can be easily resolved and that isn’t a safeguarding issue, and raised that my child has been used to seeing me at least 2 days a week for over a year now - so he’s allowing us every Friday night and Saturday morning, about half of the time we have been getting and still supervised.

What are my rights? My daughter will break her heart over this as she’s loved me coming to her school and I don’t want her feeling like she’s being punished. CAO holder also told me he’s changed the password to the school but I know that as PR I have a right to be informed of things like parents evenings, so I have no idea what he’s told the school.

This just seems like an obvious abuse of power to me. I tried calling the police to report the level of control but they weren’t interested.

Any advice on how I can go forward from this?
How can I help my daughter cope? She’s always having a hard time with her emotions as it is as she’s been clinging to me and begging not to leave my house.
What are my rights as a non resident parent with PR?

QuestionMark
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:10 pm

Re: What actually are my rights?

Post by QuestionMark » Thu Jan 30, 2020 12:51 am

Please help I’m only in my 20s and just feel like life ended before it really began

QuestionMark
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:10 pm

Re: What actually are my rights?

Post by QuestionMark » Sat Feb 01, 2020 7:41 am

So I’ve recently learnt that CAO holder has put on our child’s school forms that I do not have parental responsibility - when the reality is that we share PR. Issue has been raised with the school - will they help me? He’s now lying to people involved in her care

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2632
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: What actually are my rights?

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Feb 21, 2020 5:18 pm

QuestionMark wrote:
Wed Jan 29, 2020 11:58 pm
Child was given to their dad and he was granted a child arrangements order. We still have shared PR.

Findings made against me in May 2018 consist of:
Dishonesty,
Parental alienation
Pool of perpetrators (along with childs step dad)

I was granted 3 hours supervised contact a fortnight. This quickly progressed to 5 hours supervised a fortnight. Then to every Friday night through to Sunday midday, suppervised.

I was then granted unsupervised contact in July 2019, which felt well deserved after 2 years supervised with no concerns. Unfortunately my child received a small cat scratch and the CAO holder put supervised in place again. Since then, and up until today I have been seeing my child every Tuesday, Thursday and every other Friday through to Saturday midday.

Since Christmas my child has not wanted to go to nusery, crying that she wants me as I had her to her teachers. As comfort, she asks to take my lipstick that she plays with with her and I’ve allowed it. I assumed no harm done. Yesterday I was informed that she was trying to put lipstick on other children, and so I decided myself to not allow her to take lipstick anymore as of tomorrow.

Unfortunately I’m now not seeing her tomorrow, nor will I be seeing her during weekdays anymore as I received an aggressive text of CAO holder this morning telling me that he can’t trust me because of the lipstick issue and so I won’t be seeing my child anymore during the week. I pointed out that this was a severe reaction to a minor issue that can be easily resolved and that isn’t a safeguarding issue, and raised that my child has been used to seeing me at least 2 days a week for over a year now - so he’s allowing us every Friday night and Saturday morning, about half of the time we have been getting and still supervised.

What are my rights? My daughter will break her heart over this as she’s loved me coming to her school and I don’t want her feeling like she’s being punished. CAO holder also told me he’s changed the password to the school but I know that as PR I have a right to be informed of things like parents evenings, so I have no idea what he’s told the school.

This just seems like an obvious abuse of power to me. I tried calling the police to report the level of control but they weren’t interested.

Any advice on how I can go forward from this?
How can I help my daughter cope? She’s always having a hard time with her emotions as it is as she’s been clinging to me and begging not to leave my house.
What are my rights as a non resident parent with PR?
Dear QuestionMark

Thank you for your further post.

I am sorry that your contact with your daughter has been reduced because of what you say was a minor issue in respect of your daughter taking a lipstick to nursery.

If the level of contact you are supposed to have is in a court order and the person with care of your daughter is not sticking to the terms of the order you can consider taking the matter back to court to enforce the order. It might be more helpful to try and arrange mediation with the person having the child arrangement order to see if the issues can be resolved in the best interests of your daughter.

Regarding parental responsibility you continue to share this and the school should not be told that you do not. You may wish to write to the school to explain this.

I think it would be more helpful for you to make contact with Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 who can give you advice on private law matters which is outside the remit of our service.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

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