Exs partner

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Dotty flo
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:38 am

Exs partner

Post by Dotty flo » Tue Oct 08, 2019 2:30 pm

Hi anyone that can help 😊

So I've just found out I'm pregant and I've had my first booking appointment with my midwife and she was asking about my boyfriend other children that he has with his ex.

Now the mother of the 2 children has a record and had the children taken off her for a while (now has them back and no social services) my boyfriend back then was a bad kid and was in prison (defo not the same man now) when all this happened. I'm just so scared that her having them taken off her will go against me I've never been in trouble never done anything against the law I have a full time Job he also has full time job and I have a strong support network from family.

Will her having the kids taken off her have any affect on my child and social services? :( I've always had a good up bringing never had any kind of social services involved in our family so I just want my child to have the same upbringing as me.

Thanks in advance 😊

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4249
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Exs partner

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Oct 16, 2019 2:30 pm

Dear Dotty flo

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I can see that you are very worried about your boyfriend’s history with his previous partner and the fact that his children were removed from their mother’s care for a period of time. You have had a first appointment with the midwife who asked about previous children’s services (the new name for social services) involvement. This is generally asked by midwife as they have a safeguarding role and if there are concerns a referral could be made to children’s services. It does not say in your post whether you were asked because the midwife was already aware of your partner (which is possible if there is a flag) because of previous children’s services involvement.

You do not say whether the midwife told that she would make a referral. Children’s services, if they became involved, would be because of your partner’s history but they would look at him as he is now. In your case, the fact that his previous partner had children removed would not in itself mean that children’s services would be concerned about your own unborn baby. Their concern would arise is the removal related to your partner’s behaviour at the time and whether he was considered a risk.

I do not think that you need to worry too much because if a referral were made you would be told of the concerns and given the opportunity to work with children’s services to improve things. The fact that you have good family support network would also be taken into account.

Whilst I can understand that you are worried, as stated above it will depend on the reasons why his children were removed. Her children being removed from her will not go against you.

I suggest that you try to enjoy your pregnancy and not worry unnecessarily. It might be helpful if at your next appointment you speak with the midwife and ask whether she has any concerns.

You may find it helpful to read our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services which explains what happens if children’s services receive a referral.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our confidential advice line on 0800 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

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