Daughters father refusing to give her back again!

[zubie123]

Hi, sorry for the essay but i really need some reassurance!
My daughters father has taken her away from me for he second time. We are supposed to have shared care which is agreed via a written agreement with social services since the last time he took her away for a month! - so it is not legally binding. My ex has not stuck to the agreement as usual so i contacted my solicitor to start court proceedings. Before last friday my ex had not picked up his daughter for 1 month, he found out i was going to take him to court and he picked our daughter up straight away - i should of not let him have her back after not bothering for so long but im too nice for my own good and i dont want to put my child through not seeing her father - unlike him! As soon as he left on friday i recieved a text saying im not getting her back because he thinks im on drugs! this is not true. He said i could pick her up today if i can prove i and my whole family including my 6yr old nieces have had drug tests, this is just rediculous and i dont have the money to do that and i know he is only doing/saying all this because he has found out i am taking him to court. I went there this evening to get my daughter back, i did not get an answer at his flat even though the light was on, i phoned the police who said they would get there within the hour so while i was waiting my ex's mum turns up and he came from round the corner without my daughter so he must have been hiding and spying on me, my daughter was in his flat with his new girlfriend who my daughter barely knows! we argued a bit i explained why i was taking him to court, he just denies everything all the time, he was completely refusing to hand my daughter over so i continued to wait for the police he proceeded to stand at the window with my daughter luckily i was in the car so she did not see me, he then came out again and said i could have her if i sign some paper saying he can collect her on saturday - i wasnt sure about this so i rung my solicitor he said it was basically up to me, i text him to say he could collect her on sunday as i am entitled to have my daugther for 4 nights, he then said he wants it in writing so went back in for about 15mins wrote a long list of things for me to agree and he wanted to take a photo of me signing it! i said i agreed to sign that you can collect her sunday nothing else, so i refused to sign it and came home without my daughter! Do you think i was right to refuse to sign it or do you think i should have signed it so i could get my daughter? now i dont know how long i wont see her for again as i have to wait for funding for court. please advise :'(

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Zubie 123

Welcome back to the board.

Sorry to hear about the difficulties you appear to be having with your daughter in what seems to be a complex situation.

Can I say firstly that there is probably only a limited amount of advice I can give you in this situation, because for the most part it sounds like a private law matter, and Family Rights Group have a limited role in private law disputes, as we are not funded to advise on these issues.

You have stated that you had entered in to a written agreement with Children’s Services and your ex partner around contact. Was this because of concerns about any historical drug use, and have you ever been referred for any professional support regarding these issues?

In addition, does your ex partner have parental responsibility for your child? Secondly, was your child subject to a child protection plan or care proceedings. The reason I ask this is to establish who (between you, your ex partner and Children's Services) has the legal power to make key day to day decisions about your child’s day to day care.

Either way, if the answer to these two questions is no, but Children’s Services are involved, then I suggest you continue to engage with them re any assessments they may be undertaken at this time.

If however, you have sole parental responsibility, but the decision has been made (against your consent) not to return your child to your care, then I suggest you seek urgent legal advice via http://www.lawsociety.org.uk in order to discuss your options at this time, prior to signing any written agreement, so you can be fully aware of the implications of doing so, in advance.

Best Wishes

Suzie