Really need advice

[Starkitten86]

Hi. I could really do with some advice. Social services are coming round today. First visit, to "help". Will they actually help?
Back story: my 5 year old is very difficult, doesn't listen to me, and is rude. She shows signs of being autistic. Highly intelligent, talks like an adult (even as young as nursery, the staff kept forgetting that they weren't talking to an adult), hides under tables and violently lashes out, highly sensitive to sounds and smells. Stares off into space, very independent, and wants to explore. She has been late to school, as I have messed up the timing, not knowing the area (we moved here about 4 months ago, as the area we lived in was very unsafe), she hasn't had breakfast - because she didn't want any. She's told the teachers that she has no clothes, and no toys, neither of which are true! I don't know what else she's said at school. One evening she left the house, and I had to ring the police. No reason for it, other than to explore. Since then, I've got up earlier, I've made sure she's had breakfast, and she's at school early. I've also made sure that the back door is always locked, and the key hidden. My partner (who isn't my 5 year old's father, but my youngest's father), has broken up with me, so I've got no support from him.
Is there anything else I could do? How do I make sure this is the first, and last, visit from them?
I would really appreciate any advice

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Starkitten86

Welcome to the parents discussion board and thank you for posting.

I see from your post that you have children’s services (the new name for social services) were planning to visit you. I am sorry that you did not receive a response to your post before now due to volume of work.

Normally, when children’s services receives a referral about safeguarding concerns for a child, they will contact the parent or person with whom the child is living to arrange a meeting. The purpose of the social worker’s visit is to discuss the referral and find out more about the child and the person caring for him or her.

You say your daughter shows signs of being autistic and exhibits very difficult behaviour and, as result, you struggle with getting her to school among other things. Since you have made changes to ensure she gets to school on time and has breakfast, this suggests that the school may already have discussed their concerns with you. Have you mentioned your concerns about your daughter being possible autistic with your doctor or anyone else? Has any assessment been arranged for her to see if she is fact autistic or have a similar condition?

Regarding your question whether you can make this the social worker’s first and last visit, it is difficult to say whether or not this will be the case. Firstly, the social worker will, after speaking with you, decide with other professionals whether further involvement is necessary. Please read our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services which explains what happens when children’s services receive a referral.

It maybe that if children’s services continue to be involved that following an assessment, that you are offered support to assist you with your daughter’s behaviour. In answer, to your question, will they help I think the response is yes, if there is an assessed need. Our advice sheet about family support might be helpful to you. Please it here Family support.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie