Sgo, I want my daughter back

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Bright87
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:14 pm

Sgo, I want my daughter back

Post by Bright87 » Mon Nov 26, 2018 7:26 pm

Sorry for the long story. Almost 5 years ago my daughter broke her leg aged 1. I still to this day have No Idea how it happened and had to take her to hospital twice for them to even notice it. After they found it she got taken out of her bed at 11 at night and put into hospital for 3 days with no one she knew. SS Then made me sign her into foster care without knowing what I was fully doing, I spent the next 12 month's in and out of family court with my parents and at the time boyfriend (Not little ones dad) in the end they dragged up things about my mental health from over 10 years ago (I was 26 then) and came to the conclusion that becuase I couldn't explain it I must of done it. My parents were awarded sgo and I had contact with her T their house. A few weeks later my boyfriend showed his true colours tried to kill me and admitted to me that he did it. (Mum said this all along but I didn't want to believe it) social services got wind but said nothing could be done as case closed. Fats forward 5 years later and I have my daughter at mine for 3 nights a week when I'm not working, I've been in a stable relationship for over 3 years, have a good job, studying a degree and I am getting help for my aniexty. My daughter wants to live with me and my bf as she loves him as well but my mum is controlling nd uses her to keep me in check. She uses her as a reason to make sure I do what she wants. I'm 31 now I want my daughter back and a life of my own but while she has sgo she's never going to let me. How can I go about getting her back
Thanks

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Sgo, I want my daughter back

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:27 pm

Dear Bright87

Welcome to the parents discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group.

Your daughter was placed in your mother’s care 5 years ago. It appears that this was initially with your agreement under section 20. Which is voluntary accommodation. After this children’s services (the new name for social services) may have applied to the court for a care order or recommended that your mother apply for a special guardianship order. However, the special guardianship order came about, the fact is that your daughter has been living with her grandmother for about 5 years now and is settled.

You have been through a very difficult time as you have explained in your post regarding your mental health and the treatment you received at the hands of your ex-partner. I suppose it might have been possible at the time your ex-partner made the admission that you could have gone back to court as there was a significant change in circumstances.

The position now is that you have managed to turn your life around, you are enjoying good contact with your daughter including overnight staying contact for extended periods. What period of time have you been having overnight staying contact? It is really good that you are managing your anxiety as well.

Please read our advice sheet Special Guardianship: what does it mean for birth parents? for more information about your position as a birth parent. It is not clear what you mean by your mother using your daughter to keep you in check. Does she say she will stop contact? If there is an order for your contact, then your mother would be in breaking the order if she stopped contact. It may be that you tells you that she will reduce contact back to the level in a court order. In those circumstances, you could ask the court to increase your contact.

Your mother has parental responsibility for your daughter but you have not lost yours. She can, however, exercise her parental responsibility over and above yours.

You are able to apply to discharge a special guardianship order but you need permission from the court to do so. There will need to be evidence of significant change in respect of the concerns that led to the order being made in the first place. Also, the court would only discharge the order if it is considered to be in your daughter’s interest. Your daughter would be asked in an age appropriate way what her wishes and feelings are and the court would be provided with this information.

This organisation Coram Children’s Legal Centre (Child Law Advice) 0300 330 5480, can give you advice on making on private law application to discharge the special guardianship order.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

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