Moving 200 miles away

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Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:40 am

Moving 200 miles away

Post by calendar » Mon Jul 16, 2018 7:20 pm

I have split with my son's dad and have been living in the same area for a while. My son stays at his dad's from Friday after school until Sunday evening every week and in school holidays he goes for extra days added before or after the weekend.
My ex was emotionally abusive, a very angry shouty sweary man which is why I left him. Things are worse at drop off he yells and swears still in front of my child. Every weekend he comes back saying new swear words and saying he hates me. The behaviour gets better a couple of days later but he has to keep going to his dad's as he has parental responsibility. We were never married.
I have the opportunity to live near my family and am scared to do it incase my ex can block this. I have had social worker involved who has spent time with me and my son and seen how close we are but he only visited his dad alone so never saw how he coped. His dad lied about lots of things and said I was trying to turn my son against him which I have never done. He is telling my son to say he should be with him for 5 days and me for 2 just to spite me.
Is there anything I can do to move away safely as I truly believe he will come after me in some way. I am willing to still bring my son half way or him pick up one day and I pick up to return.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2250
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Moving 200 miles away

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jul 25, 2018 3:52 pm

Dear Calendar,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.
I can see that you are asking about private law contact between your son and his father and you outline the difficulties that are occurring.

Children services are no longer involved but what sounds like domestic violence is still continuing when you drop your son with dad for contact. Your son may be being emotionally abused which can have long term effects on him.

You cannot control your exe’s behaviour. But other arrangements could be made such as involving a third party so you don’t have to see your exe and so your son does not have to suffer. For example, your son being picked up from school by dad or a family member being involved.

Is there a contact order or child arrangements order for contact? If it is not safe, you should consider applying to court to vary a contact order. Here are some FAQ’s about contact and domestic violence.

I suggest you contact a domestic violence organisation like Women’s aid for advice about this.

You ask about moving away with your son to be nearer your family. Unfortunately, this is not within Family Rights Group remit, I suggest you contact Rights of Women or Child Law advice line .

Best wishes,


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