I stupidly thought they would help !!!

mancmum
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 8:34 pm

I stupidly thought they would help !!!

Postby mancmum » Fri May 04, 2018 6:42 pm

I contacted social services for help with my 12-year-old who was refusing school. I've worked with stronger families, edge of care, social services and as his behaviour was now aggressive and violent towards me I agreed to him moving in with his dad short term. That lasted 4 days and he accused his dad of assaulting him (it probably did happen). I agreed to S20 care whilst we worked out the problems at home. Fast forward 9 months and I am fighting to get my son back. I have been accused of being the cause of his problems, not working with social services, etc, etc. I think the problem is I want help, action and when they say they will do something I expect them to do it. PLO was started in October but no agreement to change anything has been made. The only thing I have been asked is to have a psychological assessment (previous issues with domestic violence, a child with cancer, the death of parents) which I have done. The report is very in-depth and I have no problems with it and it suggests counselling for me and a parenting teenagers course both of which I am happy to do. I have today found out that social services have disclosed my psychological report (which talks about the domestic violence and my continuing fear of him) to my ex-husband. I don't know what to do, what can I do, how do I get past this? I am so concerned, not just for me but for my children. My ex is a narcissist and I was so scared to disclose this information to social services for fear of reprisals and this has been discussed on numerous occasions about how confidential it is. My children have a love/fear relationship with their dad and although i do feel they would be better off without him in their life, this will have to be a decision they make. Don't get me wrong, when it suits he can be a great dad, and both of the kids love him and his once a week four-hour fun dad contact, he's just a **** husband/ ex-husband.
SS have now issued proceedings for an interim court order on the grounds that my son cant come home because his behaviour means I cant control him. Apparently he has been a S20 for too long and it cant continue. How is a care order going to help? How is removing my parental responsibility going to help? My son has had no help, counselling, CBT or anything to deal with his anger issues, his fathers "alleged" assault, his being in care (already moved 3 times). I don't know what to do and I am scared that I'm going to lose him. Any advice, please.

Kami2018
Posts: 59
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: I stupidly thought they would help !!!

Postby Kami2018 » Thu Jun 28, 2018 12:17 pm

I would seek legal advice immediately and ask social services why your son has received no help and tel, them that you would be prepared to courses as mother and son to help try and get to the bottom of his behaviour issues


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