I'm desperate and got no where to turn

[busymummy]

I'm a single mum and to cut the story short I've suffered with self harm n depression for years. It got worse over the years and Xmas time I got to the stage I didn't want to be here anymore so I got my self admitted. Leaving the children in my mum's care she decided to hand them to social services because she couldn't/wouldn't cope with them. I had to sign 5 of my children into foster care voluntary and now they've done a parenting assessment they've told me I failed and ate applying to the courts for a care order. I've admitted to using substances to help me with the months up to Xmas but drug testing shows I haven't since so they are using this as well as the self harm against me. I have NEVER harmes around my children and can swear theyve never witnessed this. They're calling it hidden harm.i don't have a lot of support and never felt so lost and alone right now. I don't know where to turn. Any advise will be very grateful

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear busymummy

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you find yourself in this distressing situation with your children in voluntary accommodation under section 20 which is your consenting to the children being in foster care. It is unfortunate that your mother was unable to continue caring for the children whilst you sought hospital treatment.

Children’s services has since carried out a parenting assessment of you which you have failed and they are now planning to apply for care orders for your children. Do you have any other family or friends who might be able to offer support to you in looking after the children or, in the long term to have the children either together or separately live with them? If you do, should ask to have a family group conference. See our advice sheet here Family Group Conferences.

You will be entitled to legal aid so you can have a solicitor to represent you at court. Here is our advice sheet about Care (and related) proceedings

In your post you mention hidden harm which suggests that children’s services are concerned about the emotional harm they suffer because of the care you are able to give. I am sure you look after your children but seeing you unwell or harming yourself will have an impact on the children.

Mental health problems do not mean that a parent is unable to look after their child or children but it must be properly managed by medication. The fact that you appeared to self-medicate with substances would be of concern to children’s services. The children could suffer physical harm if they accidentally swallow something for example. You would not have kept them safe.

Do you know whether there is anything you would need to do to show children’s services that you can safely care for the children? When you have a solicitor these are the things they can ask about. I think it will be very important that you work children’s services and if there is anything that you are asked to do to improve the situation then you should do this as best you can. Your solicitor will be able to advise you.

You may wish to speak to an adviser and, if so, you can telephone or free advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from, 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie