Contact change after court order

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Addy2010
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:48 am

Contact change after court order

Post by Addy2010 » Tue May 01, 2018 3:53 pm

My 7year old son has lived with my brother & his wife & kids since early 2015 under a SGO. The court order says I get to see my son supervised for one hour every 6 weeks. In January my brother decided he was changing this to every 12 weeks without court approval, can he do this? I had no say in the matter. He spoke to me and sent me a letter to say he has kept records of all contacts and I turn up 57% of the time causing my son distress as I just don't turn up & don't give him notice I'm not coming. He says he will happily see me in court & he won't change his mind. What do I do? I have been stopped from seeing my other kids & don't want my youngest son to forget me. It seems very unfair he can do this. He did send me a letter last year saying I needed to turn up or he would change contact but I didn't think he would. He says he travels to me, he pays for the venue & he's had enough. I don't drive and am unemployed which is why he does this. Can he really just go against the court order ?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4207
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Contact change after court order

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri May 04, 2018 6:06 pm

Dear Addy2010

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum.

I am sorry that you are feeling so upset that contact with your son has been reduced by the special guardian.

You want to know whether your brother is able to change the contact arrangements from that in the court order. If he thinks contact is not in your son’s best interests then he can say contact should be changed but he really should ask the court to change the order.

I you wish you could take the matter to court yourself and ask the court to enforce the terms of the court order for contact. It seems however that you have not attended contact consistently and your brother informed you of what would happen if you did not maintain contact. You really need to think about the effect your failure to attend contact has on your son. He would be looking forward to see you and then he get let down when you do not go. Emotionally, this is difficult for a child to cope with.

As a special guardian your brother is able to exercise his parental responsibility over and above yours to act in the best interests of your son.

Please read our advice sheet Special Guardianship: what does it mean for birth parents?.

I suggest you speak to your brother and explain that you will do better with contact in the future if he is willing to give you a chance. If not, then you have to decide if you wish to take the matter to court. Should you decide to do so, you can contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 for advice about making the application.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

Addy2010
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2018 10:48 am

Re: Contact change after court order

Post by Addy2010 » Sat May 05, 2018 7:56 pm

So if I was able to get this to court the judge would make him go back to six weekly? I have spoken to him directly but he claims I am damaging my son & he's acting out at home & school. I know he won't revert back to 6 weekly on his own because I've missed another contact since he changed it but this was because no one reminded me of it. He sent me a contact list with the dates but didn't ring in advance and remind me so I feel like he's wanting me to miss the contacts. Is there any possibility the judge would agree with him or would they enforce the original order because he changed it without them saying he could?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4207
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Contact change after court order

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu May 17, 2018 2:54 pm

Dear Addy2010

Thank you for your further post.

I cannot say that the judge would make the special guardian go back to 6 weekly contact. The court would make its decision based on what is best for your child as his welfare is paramount.

It appears that the special guardian has tried to make it easy for you by providing a list, I think it is important that you take responsibility for your contact. If you do not remember when contact is due to take place or have lost the list provided you can ask for another.

Contact is for the benefit of your son and, if you do not attend scheduled contact, it is disappointing for him and will cause him to be upset. You should consider how he is impacted by your failure to attend contact.

I do not know why you are unable to remember when contact is due to take place but if there is a reason why this is the case, I think you should consider asking a friend or other family member to keep on eye on the dates for contact for you. The special guardian has provided contact dates so the responsibility is yours to get yourself there he does not have to remind you and the court would not think it is for him to remind you unless there is some medical or other reason why this is necessary.

I hope you will be able to resolve contact issues with the special guardian as it is important for your son to have good contact if it does not cause him upset.

Best wishes

Suzie

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