Need some help

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Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:49 am

Need some help

Post by Unknown1 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:11 am

Hi, I have a son who is 13, over the last 2 years I've been setting boundaries that any teenager don't like. My parents have never supported me when it cone to discipline with my son. He's got a girlfriend age 13, about 7 months ago I told him that he was. It aloud in his room with his girlfriend unless he has the door open, my parents agreed when I turned to them for advice. He went over my parents because he wasn't happy and said I don't trust him and believe him that him and his girlfriend wernt having sex. My parents believed him and he has always got away with everything with them and has his own way. Recently his girlfriend has gone to my parents. I go and see my son every night even if it's just to say goodnight to him. They were both in his bedroom at my parents house with the door closed and locked. I was furious that they let this happen and challenged them both and my parents about it. My parents disagreed and said there is no way my son was having sex, it took my son a while to answer the door to me . I have been in touch with this family support organisation for help, my parents would not engage with this organisation saying that my son is a good boy and that they don't need any parental skills to look after him. So I didn't have no choice as I've been bateling with my parents for months about putting boundaries and consequences in place for my son for his safety and wellbeing. I rang social services to explain my concerns, that I'm sure my son and his girlfriend are having sex and that my parents are putting him the position to let it happen and that it's not right. They got in touch with my parents and now have agreed to engage with this family organisation. My man came over tonight and said that I was in the wrong and that I am messing with my son's head. My son is angry with me because I went to this organisation for help, saying he don't want me in his life anymore. I'm worried that they are brain washing him and that they just can't see that I am doing all of this for my son and trying to be the best mum I can be. Any advice on this please would be appreciated. Thank you

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Need some help

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Dec 15, 2017 2:32 pm

Dear Unknown1,

Welcome to the Parents Forum. I am sorry that there are difficulties between you and your son at the moment.

I can see that your son is angry with you because he does not see that you are trying to protect him and instead thinks you are interfering with his life unnecessarily.

It can be very difficult to make decisions about children when they become teenagers. As a parent, your legal parental responsibility diminishes as your child heads towards being an adult.
Family Lives (who advise about parenting) has a helpline and also a lot of information about teenagers. You could call them for advice.

What are children services saying? Are they worried about your son? Are they offering you or him any support?
As mum, you have legal parental responsibility so they should be keeping you informed, even though your son does not live with you. Ask for a copy of their assessment.

Here is our advice sheet about children services that you might find useful.

If you have any questions, please post again.

Best wishes,

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