New Husband turned out to be online child sex offender
Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 9:40 am
I'm devastated right now, a few weeks ago (after being married a few months to an older man i'd been with for nearly 2 years) my husband was arrested for looking a indecent images of children online. Police noted that he had been flagged on the system just over 2 years ago and had tracked him to my address more recently.
I have two children (4 & 7) from a previous marriage, my children had built a relationship with this man. I wasn't getting clear information from anyone (i have aspergers i can't read between the lines need clear instruction) so ss and the police and homestart (who i was in contact with after previous marriage broke down) were vague or none commital to advice nor were solicitors or lucy faithful.
so I stuck by him trying to help him deal with his own abusive childhood. we'd talk about the investigation and the hows and whys etc, try and understand his triggers, then information starts coming out that he had not previously disclosed to me. more dates, more material, different types his worries about what the police might find and alarm bells start going off.
I realise its a bigger problem than hes let on. since his arrest hes not had any contact with my children and i was visiting him at a christian friends (couple) who were encouraging us to fight this as a couple, any advice i asked for was melted by reassurance that i was doing the right thing by our marriage and the children would be fine.
SS were showing vast concerns for me and the children, my house had been dominated by him and his belongings, and his demands on me were increasing, despite his disabilities he was digging himself deeper into my business (im self employed) and distracting me from the situation.
last week i took the decision to ask for divorce, after trying to talk in person and the phone, i had to text him. he stands a clear foot taller than me and i feared he would hurt me. since parting his company and talking to friends and family they've opened up in their relief and ive realised how much my relationship with him imposed on my family, i quickly realised that people were avoiding contact with me due to his controlling and intimidating nature.
Also my ex (the childrens father) was advised by SS to get legal advise and he has gone for a child arrangement order to gain custody of the children. I feel like my world is falling apart.
though since asking for the divorce and cutting all contact with my husband, i have cleared my home of all his belongings, reclaimed the house for me and the children and addressed all of the concerns i could raised by my ex in regards to the application for custody (other than that of the high risk husband) im not sure what else i can do?
i also now realise i was also victim to domestic abuse. im looking to enrol on a freedom programme to help me with this as well as the councilling the dr has referred me for. my main concern is SS is expecting me to divorce now but all the advice i've had suggests i can't do this til we'd been married a year. (three different solicitors and CAB)
Thanks for reading if you got this far xxx
I have two children (4 & 7) from a previous marriage, my children had built a relationship with this man. I wasn't getting clear information from anyone (i have aspergers i can't read between the lines need clear instruction) so ss and the police and homestart (who i was in contact with after previous marriage broke down) were vague or none commital to advice nor were solicitors or lucy faithful.
so I stuck by him trying to help him deal with his own abusive childhood. we'd talk about the investigation and the hows and whys etc, try and understand his triggers, then information starts coming out that he had not previously disclosed to me. more dates, more material, different types his worries about what the police might find and alarm bells start going off.
I realise its a bigger problem than hes let on. since his arrest hes not had any contact with my children and i was visiting him at a christian friends (couple) who were encouraging us to fight this as a couple, any advice i asked for was melted by reassurance that i was doing the right thing by our marriage and the children would be fine.
SS were showing vast concerns for me and the children, my house had been dominated by him and his belongings, and his demands on me were increasing, despite his disabilities he was digging himself deeper into my business (im self employed) and distracting me from the situation.
last week i took the decision to ask for divorce, after trying to talk in person and the phone, i had to text him. he stands a clear foot taller than me and i feared he would hurt me. since parting his company and talking to friends and family they've opened up in their relief and ive realised how much my relationship with him imposed on my family, i quickly realised that people were avoiding contact with me due to his controlling and intimidating nature.
Also my ex (the childrens father) was advised by SS to get legal advise and he has gone for a child arrangement order to gain custody of the children. I feel like my world is falling apart.
though since asking for the divorce and cutting all contact with my husband, i have cleared my home of all his belongings, reclaimed the house for me and the children and addressed all of the concerns i could raised by my ex in regards to the application for custody (other than that of the high risk husband) im not sure what else i can do?
i also now realise i was also victim to domestic abuse. im looking to enrol on a freedom programme to help me with this as well as the councilling the dr has referred me for. my main concern is SS is expecting me to divorce now but all the advice i've had suggests i can't do this til we'd been married a year. (three different solicitors and CAB)
Thanks for reading if you got this far xxx