So confused

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Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 10:24 pm

So confused

Post by heartbroken80 » Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:39 pm


Sorry to bother everyone again but I need help.

My son is under an interim care order, he has been since June, he is 2 1/2.

I am doing all that is asked of me and am engaging with all services.

I was told by my son's social worker that I have a really good chance of having my son returned to my care.

There is a directions hearing on the 22nd of November.

The social worker has said that I could get my son returned a lot earlier and gave me the impression I would have him home by Christmas and his Birthday which is in January.

I went to a care plan meeting today and the normal social worker was away.

The one replacing said that I couldn't get him home before and that the final decision would not be until the final hearing which isn't until February.

I am deeply distressed as I was told that it was virtually certain that I would have my son returned.

They have said that this also relies on the psychologist report that they are waiting for.
I am concerned, although I don't have any mental illness that this will be negative.

I feel like I don't want to carry on anymore. I have witnesses who know that the social worker has said I would get him home soon as as they were present.

She has also said the following 'I am a social worker, it is my job to find what I can to show my children can't be returned to their family, buy you are not giving me anything'. Surely this goes against the fact that social services profess to try and keep a child at home.

There is been many misquotations where people have come forward and said that they didn't say what was quoted.

I miss my son dearly and I can't take anymore. I can't carry on without him. I feel like my whole world is falling apart.
I don't want to live without my little boy, it is too painful.

Please help me.
Moderated by Suzie to preserve confidentiality

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Re: So confused

Post by charmed1 » Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:13 pm

Hi heartbroken80. It's not up to the social worker it's up to the judge. These social workers' go way above there position and think they call the shots. They don't. It's up to you to put the best possible case before the Judge and it's the Judge and only the Judge that decides using the 'welfare checklist' as well as your evidence and that of the local authority whether it's in the best interest of your child to go home to you. Stay calm and keep your child in the forefront of your mind. Also keep in touch with your solictor as they liase with the barrister who will represent you in court. Stay strong.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: So confused

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:45 pm

Dear hearbroken80,

Welcome back to the Parent’s Forum.

I agree whole heartedly with Charmed1's post.
It is understandable that you are missing your son in these very difficult circumstances. It can’t help to have two social workers giving opposing views on whether or not your son is likely to be returned to you. It must feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster.

You have said that you won’t be able to carry on. Can you seek help for these feelings? Could you get support from your GP-who has been so supportive in the past? You could speak confidentially to the Samaritans who help people when they are in a crisis.

As charmed1 says, at this stage of the proceedings, the court is still waiting for all the assessments to be filed. So no one is in a position to say definitely, whether or not, your son will be returning home.
This decision, is ultimately up to the judge, who weighs up all the evidence and decides whether your son can be reunited with you. This decision is often made at the final hearing-which in your case is February 2018. But not always. For example, the issues resolution hearing-a much earlier hearing can be used as a final hearing.
In other circumstances, plans can be made for a child to come home on an interim care order so testing how it all goes, before making a final decision. Maybe this is what your social worker had envisaged, given how well you had been doing.
I would check the position with your solicitor.
Here is our advice sheet about care proceedings

I hope my advice helps but if you have any questions, please post back or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

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