Social Services and Sex Offender

Post Reply
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jul 01, 2017 7:28 pm

Social Services and Sex Offender

Post by babyandbella » Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:58 pm

Hi there,

I'd really like any advice anybody has. I'll get straight to it.

My partner is not my child's biological father. My child's biological father has nothing to do with her. My partner is currently in prison for 'sexual grooming of a child under 16 with intent of sexual activity'. Bottom line, he had a few explicit chats with a 15 year old, met up with her but did not have any sexual activity or intercourse. My partner was 21 when this incident occurred. The judge was very very apologetic and wish he did not have to serve a custodial sentence but he said he was left with no choice due to 'public perception' how HE'D be seen as a judge. He has been given a 12 month custodial sentence and will serve approximately between 3-6 months. He will be on the sex offenders list for 10 years. His pre sentence probation officer deemed him low risk (along with other police involved) and even recommended a community order in court. The judge also deemed him 'low risk' and 'low risk of reoffending'.

So, why am I asking for advice? I have a 15 month old child. Currently, he's aloud with under 16s for up to 12 hours without having to inform anybody.  Not a problem currently. He rarely sees my daughter (not because I don't trust him but my parents tend to babysit once a week). If we do, he's never unsupervised but again... that's just merely because she's my daughter and I wouldn't leave her unsupervised with any boyfriend because she's a handful! However, I would respect any restrictions in regards to supervision without a worry. 

When he's released, we won't be breaking any of his 'rules' as he won't be seeing her for more than 12 hours. However, where does this leave us for the future? 10 years? Our own children? Moving in together (with my daughter)? It's not our plan for the near future to move in together but it was in the next 3-5 years. Would it just be as simple as a standard assessment from social services? Them reiterating he's not aloud to be unsupervised and that's that? Or is that wishful thinking? Will she be put under a child protection plan and our every move scrutinised. 

My worry is for our future, not for the present. I'm just wondering if you've dealt with this sort of thing before and the standard procedures and protocols. I completely understand why they'd need to do an assessment. Sex offender and a child under the same roof? It doesn't sound great! 

Thank you for your time! 

Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2016 2:39 am

Re: Social Services and Sex Offender

Post by Chancing » Thu Jul 27, 2017 4:52 pm

I have posted a few times on dealing with child welfare as the partner of a SO.
My partner isn't my children's father, his victim was of the age of consent, as are my eldest daughters.
He had served a considerable sentence and I was perfectly aware of what the process would entail.

We have been successful in our negotiations with the services and I think a big part of that was the attitude we both took towards the situation and his offence.
Please read my previous posts about this subject and feel free to pm me if you want to discuss things further.

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2153
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Social Services and Sex Offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:40 pm

Dear babyandbella

Welcome to the Parents Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see that you posted some time ago and received a response to your post from Chancing who gives supportive advice from her own experiences.

I understand that you are finding your current situation difficult and have worries for the future when your partner is released from prison. From what you have said he will be on the sex offenders register for 10 years but you hope to make a life with him.

It is good that you are looking at what could happen long term if you and your partner decide to live together with your daughter. He would have to inform probation of the fact that he is intending to maintain a relationship with someone who has a child. If you live together it would be the same. All professionals have a duty to safeguard children and a referral is likely to be made to your local children’s services.

A social worker would meet with you when the referral is received. Alternatively, you could inform children’s services yourself when the time comes and ask what you and your partner would be expected to do so you can be together. Honesty and openness will be key to working with children’s services who will want to carry out their own risk assessment this, even though, you say your partner has been assessed as low risk.

Children’s services' role is to ensure that children are kept safe and they will want to satisfy themselves that your daughter is not at any risk from your partner especially as his offence related to a child under 16. It is likely to be a difficult and intrusive assessment for you both but it is important that you cooperate fully with children’s services and show you have an understanding of what their concerns are and how and what you can do to reassure children services that your daughter would be protected. A copy of our advice sheet relating to child protection procedures is here for your information.

You may also wish to make contact with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation (0808 100 0900) who advises and support both perpetrators of sexual abuse and their families. They would be able to advise you about risk assessment and how to recognising signs of abuse. It might be helpful for you to look into what programmes or courses you could do in preparation.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


Post Reply