Advice needed long and complicated story

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Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2017 8:54 pm

Advice needed long and complicated story

Post by SY123 » Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:28 am

I was convicted in 2007 of 2x sexual assault on a child.
I was given a 18 month sentence.
And Sopo that reads ..... not to be on my own with any female under the age of 16.... end of restrictions.
I have fathered 2 more children since by 2 partners,
First partner I was with between 2008 and 2012 , female daughter was born in 2000.
My then partner was asked by social services to sign a document stating that I will not be on my own with our daughter .
Relationship ended in 2012.

2013 I met my wonderful new partner who I am still in a loving relationship with.
My partner had a 2 year old daughter from her previous relationship when we got together.

I inform PPU that I will be on occasions sleeping at new partners home and that she has a 2 yr old daughter.
PPU pay new partner a visit and tell her about my past (which she already knew) then said that social services will be in touch.
We heard nothing from social services.

Partner then moves house and we decided to move in together, I then informed PPU who paid us another visit and again said that social services will be coming to see us.
We at this point inform PPU that social has had no contact at all as yet.
Another 14 month passes with no contact at all from social services, we were living together as a normal happy family, with the usual ups n downs.

My partner has had and continues to have issues with alcohol, but she has now been dry for nearly 2 months and goes to a regular help group.
Social services only became active in our life after our son was born recently *****.
Social services admit that PPU have made contact but somehow it's not been acted upon.

My partner was advised by social services to do a house move mainly to get away from a alcoholic who lives next door.
My partner and I planned on signing the tenancy agreement together on the new home but social services are now kicking up an almighty stink and say I am not allowed to sign as a joint tenant.
My partner moves on saturday , the social worker has had 2 weeks to come up with a risk assessment for me in respect of partners now 5 yr old daughter and or our new born son.

My partner and I feel it is pretty awful that we are being made to live separately, our family and my partners support from me, is being ordered to stay away.
We will not know the outcome of the risk assessment until next Tuesday and then no doubt my partner will be asked to sign some awful bit of paper that is going to rip our family apart.

I went to crown court in January 2016 to try to get a end date put on my Sopo, the judge eased the terms of the Sopo by saying if the other parent agreed then I could have unsupervised access to our child
Or where I was not the father then as long as mother agreed and social agreed I could also have unsupervised access.
The judge told me I could bring it back in a few years to ask it to be considered again .

My partner and I are dreading the reality of the outcome of the risk assessment on Tuesday

Please if you feel you can offer any useful advice then please do respond.
Many thanks

******Post edited by Suzie for reasons of confidentiality.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Advice needed long and complicated story

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Jul 27, 2017 3:26 pm

Dear SY123

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Board.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group. I apologise that you did not receive a response to your post due to volume of work.

I see from your post that you are feeling upset and frustrated by children services involvement in your family. You have been open about your history and how children services became involved following your son’s birth.

It appear from your post that children services are currently doing a risk assessment to decide what level of risk you might pose to the children. This is the usual process that would be followed where children services have concerns about safeguarding a child. Although probation and the police might consider a person low risk, children services will always do their own risk assessment. Children services would usually want the person being assessed to be out of the family home whilst the investigation/assessment is being carried out.
Children’s services might consider your partner to be a vulnerable adult because of her alcohol misuse and this could lead them to say that she may not be able to keep the children safe. It is of course very good that your partner is trying to address her alcohol problem. Is she doing this through an agency or by herself? The best way, I suggest, would be to use an alcohol service so there is someone other than your partner saying she is alcohol free.

I understand that it is a very worrying time but I suggest that you and your partner try to be patient and work cooperatively with children services. Unfortunately, children services did not act upon the referrals made early as this could have led to all concerns being dealt with much earlier.

To help you and your partner get more advice relating to sexual abuse I suggest that you make contact with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900 as they provide advice and support to offenders and their families around issues relating to sexual abuse. Their website is here

I have also included copies of our advice sheets relating to family support and child protection procedures for your information.

Regarding the tenancy agreement, I do not think children services can say whether or not you should sign it. However, it could be taken that your partner is not cooperating and failing to protect her children.

You may wish to speak to one of our advisers at Family Rights Group on our advice line. The advice line is open from 9.30am t0 3pm Monday to Friday (excluding public holidays).

hope this is helpful

Best wishes


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