adoption help please .

[trigger9]

His all
As some of you have read my post will know about granddaughter get addopid . Can I ask a question can they change her first names as she is 17 months old . And they haven't asked for her birth certificate . Why is that ?
Thank you reading my post .

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Trigger9

Thank you for posting again regarding your granddaughter.

I think you need to understand the legal position when a child is adopted. What adoption means is that the child is legally no longer a member of his/her birth family.

The adoptive parents become her legal parents and have all the parental responsibility. Your daughter, as your granddaughter’s mother, has lost parental responsibility for her. The adoptive parents can make all decisions about her including changing her names. Your granddaughter will have an adoption certificate which will replace her birth certificate.

Although you are not the birth parent, I know that you are very upset by your granddaughter’s adoption so I am including here a copy of our advice sheet which explains what adoption means for birth parents so that you will have a clearer idea of what adoption means.

You might also want to make contact with Afteradoption (Birthties) which is the organisation that offers support and advice to families where a child has been adopted. Their website is here for your information.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[trigger9]

thank you for your post suzie.

[trigger9]

thank you for your post suzie.

his Suzie I have just found out that are granddaughter has not be adopted yet . But they have found a match or something . It is doing my head in because we got told that 22 February 2017 was the last day we could she her . Can you tell me why that is hun please

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Trigger9

I am sorry that you are going through such a distressing time. I hope that you followed the link in my last post to Birth Ties (After Adoption) as they can offer counselling and support to help you through this difficult period. PAC-UK may also be able to provide you with support and there is also more about how to obtain support in the advice sheet I posted in my last message but here it is again, just in case you didn’t see it: adoption advice sheet.

As I stated in my last post, an adoption order removes all of the legal ties between a child and their biological family and when children are going to be adopted it is usual for the local authority to offer a final contact visit for the parents and other significant family members, this is sometimes called “goodbye contact”. You say you had your final contact in February. Children’s Services will now want to give your granddaughter the opportunity to settle into her adoptive placement, so even though the adoption order hasn’t yet been made, contact will not continue.

Once again, I am sorry that you are going through this and urge you to contact the agencies mentioned for support.

Best wishes

Suzie

[trigger9]

Hi Trigger9

I am sorry that you are going through such a distressing time. I hope that you followed the link in my last post to Birth Ties (After Adoption) as they can offer counselling and support to help you through this difficult period. PAC-UK may also be able to provide you with support and there is also more about how to obtain support in the advice sheet I posted in my last message but here it is again, just in case you didn’t see it: adoption advice sheet.

As I stated in my last post, an adoption order removes all of the legal ties between a child and their biological family and when children are going to be adopted it is usual for the local authority to offer a final contact visit for the parents and other significant family members, this is sometimes called “goodbye contact”. You say you had your final contact in February. Children’s Services will now want to give your granddaughter the opportunity to settle into her adoptive placement, so even though the adoption order hasn’t yet been made, contact will not continue.

Once again, I am sorry that you are going through this and urge you to contact the agencies mentioned for support.

Best wishes

Suzie

thank you Suze, I am having a bad time at the moment. Also the social services ate still asking us if we want our daughter back . As you read my first post what has happened ect. Me and my hubby said baby step. As we have ask for to meet her some were . With them but they haven't done nothing about it . Do we have to be assessed for her to come back . As the reson why she was put in to care was for assolting. Me like it said in my first post . My head his in a mess all I am doing is cry . I am on tables for what we have been throw. Once again thanks for reading my post .

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Trigger9,
I can see how upset you are, after everything that has happened. Please think about contacting Birth Ties who can advise you about support you could get as a grandmother losing her grandchild into adoption.
Also there has been a lot of trauma in your family. Have you been to your GP to see whether you need any support such as counselling or medication to help you cope through this difficult time. You might be suffering from a mental health condition caused by what's been happening such as stress, anxiety and depression.

You have been asked whether your daughter can come home and live with you. You are worried that things might go wrong again and she goes back into care. So you want things to progress slowly. I think that is sensible. Generally, it is better for there to be good contact before a child moves back home.

Yes, an assessment should take place first. The assessment will look at some of the following:
• That it is safe for your daughter comes home,
• what support might be needed by the family to prevent your daughter having to come back into care ,
• what support is needed by your daughter to deal with the grieving she will suffer due to the adoption of her own daughter,
• What support she will need to deal with the trauma of the sexual assault and sexual exploitation she suffered. Given your daughter’s needs, the assessment will also look at the support you might need yourself to understand and meet her needs.
• How long after, will the social worker continue to visit and will there be respite?
• Will the support be set out in a plan?

Have you got a copy of the care plan for your daughter? What does it say about your daughter coming home? The
independent reviewing officer will be involved with the rehabilitation plan as well.
Does your daughter have an advocate to help her make decisions? If not, ask the independent reviewing officer or social worker about this.

What about asking for a family group conference to look for support within your family and friend network, to help your daughter settle back home?

I hope this helps but if you have any questions, please post back or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie