Children stolen by fathers...please help me!!!

[kimberli3891]

Hi I'm a mum of four boys aged 15,14,6 and 3. I have been struggling with my older twos behaviour for the past 4 years,a s they have got involved in a bad lot around the area,and this has resulted in them all being placed on child protection since 2014. Things were going really well beginning of 2016, but then on mothers day both my older boys become argumentative with me and then verbally abusive,laughing and keeping at me to the point I phoned the police as my six year old was present.they walked away from my house as the police were arriving then returned after they had gone and continued to be rude,to the point I tried to drag my 15 year old son the house,and he pushed back into me,forcing me to fall into my 6 year old,then both older boys dragged the 6 year old away from me and started telling him what a nasty mum I was etc..in the end I tried to call my mum for help,but my dad and brother were shopping at the time,so I called my partner to help me..he arrived and sat on the couch next to me and my six year old,cuddling us as we were both pretty upset. My older boys started shouting insults at him from the kitchen,to which he told them to leave.next thing I know they were both stood at the front room door,oldest one waving a wrench threatening with it.so my partner leaped up to push him out away from the room,but my other son managed to grab the wrench and started to beat my partner over the head whilst he pushed the oldest one.i jumped up and pinned my son to the wall whilst wrestling the wrench out of his hand,as there was blood everywhere and my 6 year old was distraught.my brother and dad arrived a few minutes after and removed the older two from the house. Following this incident ss warned me that one more incident like that in front of my youngest son's would result in them being removed..over the next few months I kept calm possible but then they was not coming in until early hours,not going to school etc,and no one seemed to be doing much to help me. It all escalated in September,wen my oldest boy threatened to stab my partner, and he restrained him again. The younger two were at their dads at the time,on contact,but my oldest son ran straight to the dads and told them about the incident,and since then they haven't returned my two youngest son's to me.they have only let me see them twice as they are scared I will take them back. Now my older is living with my six year old and his dad,and my 3 year old is living separate at his dad's.i have gone to a solicitor,tried to get legal aid on grounds of DV by my six year olds dad,who also caused initial child protection concern in 2010,after he bruised my oldest arm,but as I never reported to police there is not enough evidence for legal aid.ss,schools and health professionals were always happy with my little ones development etc,no one ever could criticise my care just the situation. now the dads are claimIMG they are unsafe with me because of some fb messages they have taken from hacking my fb,a apparently over 400 discussing drugs,which they have given to ss,and although i don't deny I haven't done a bit of certain things (nothing dreadful) I have never had a problem with it and never put it before the care of my kids.i have even supported my youngest child's dad having him,by buying all his food etc for him pretty much every weekend that he had him,as he never had a job,now I don't know where to go from here. I'm morbidly depressed atm as I can't get my boys off my head and everything I do reminds me of them,i miss them so much my heart's breaking,and when I have seen them they were all over me the whole time,saying they miss home and me :'( I have hit rock bottom, can't bear to stay my home so staying on people's sofas, I'm getting 50 a fortnight but too low to work so financially worried, while I've been away from my house my older two have broken in my house several times to the point my neighbour has complained to the council,and I have been served with a possession order. Also my car has broken down,so now I have no car,no money and no family..please someone tell me where to go from here to even start to repair my life so I can fight for my boys back....

[kimberli3891]

I have separated with my partner to improve my situation better,and I have not touched drugs...but I have tried everything and ran out of strength

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear k
I am so sorry to hear about the very difficult time you are having.

It really important that you get legal advice about your housing situation as soon as you can. Either contact a housing solicitor -see the law society find a solicitor, for solicitor in your area or Shelter can give you advice.

You say that you are morbidly depressed. Have you been to your GP about your mental health to see what treatment is available for you? Your GP could also refer you for support and monitoring around your drug use. If you intend to pursue any application about your sons, you will need to show that you are looking for support to help you deal with your mental health and drug use.

It is not clear where your older boys are living. Is it just your older boys on child protection plans?
I am sorry that your contact with your sons has been reduced so much. Do you know what the social worker is saying about your contact with your sons? They may be concerned that it is so little and might be able to support your contact such as helping with assessing someone to supervise contact.
If they are worried that you are risky to your sons, you could ask that supervised contact at a contact centre is arranged. Your sons are understandably upset by this.

It is the right thing to do, to seek a court order-child arrangements order for contact from the court.
To get advice about this you could contact the Rights of Women

Advice Now
also have information about court applications.

I hope this helps but if you need further advice, please post again.

Best wishes,

Suzie