Literally at my wits end!!

[Mamof2]

Warning.. this is gonna be a very long one.

In march last year my ex partner (non-bio dad) assaulted me. I called the police, kicked him out and he hasn't been back since. However, because my children were in the house the police had to put in a child concern with social work. Fine, I thought, no problem. Yeah right!

I then got into another relationship shortly afterwards, but with someone I'd been close friends with for over a year, known him 10 years in total.. because the social work we're involved they wanted to check him out and went crazy when they ran his police record.. he does have a few things on there (but has never been to jail) but things I know the circumstances around, I was even there for some of it and it had been 7/8 years since his last offence. A bit of background on him first because it's very important and intertwine...

He was married for 7 years, he has 3 kids, she has 3 kids. Her children were made subject to a child protection plan under the category of emotional abuse.. his children weren't put on one because he was deemed the protective factor.

They had an argument, he left to let her cool down, was more or less straight away arrested for rape.. he hadn't done it (which medical reports etc proved). While it was going on she had a non-molestation order put on him to stop him being able to go near her or the kids (even his kids). She then had the kids make all sorts of allegations against him.. they eventually told the truth (while out of her care), the whole case went to court. She had all the children taken out of her care.. her kids went to their father (who she made the same allegations about but got away with it the first time), my partners kids went to their grans because at the time he didn't have a home etc to take them.

My case went to a child protection conference where my children were made subject of a plan under the category of neglect, at first they were concerned about domestic violence since in 2001 he had admitted hitting his first wife, so in the plan I had to do loads of dv courses, he had to attend an extensive perpetrators course.. months later the social worker decides he's more concerned with the emotional harm aspect.. but tell me? How could he protect his children when his ex had worked the system so well that if he had tried to take them out of her care, he would have either been arrested or slammed by social work anyway.

The social worker here has decided he's a 'risk' because of emotional abuse, abuse he didn't perpetrate. It makes no sense at all tbh, I've read through 2,455 pages of court reports and judgements and I literally cannot see where they are coming from at all! what they say is simply nonsensical, but of course, social work have more power than they really should have!

We've worked with a family support worker who did a lot of work on and around the impact of dv on children, emotional abuse etc. With good outcomes, he deemed my partner no risk.

In the mean time, my children's father, a narcissistic sociopath, who would move heaven and hell to make sure I end up with nothing, no one, has refused to bring the children home, making out like he's protecting them. Essentially, my ex is now doing what my partners ex did because I can see where this is going.

I filed an application for an urgent Child Arrangements Order to have them returned, however, the social work have a huge hand in this decision too.. it's looking like they want to leave them with their dad, and remove them from their plans. Obviously when a judge is faced with ... mum, subject to plans.. or dad, not subject to plans it's not hard to guess which way he's gonna go.

He can't even look after our children, he works long hours, sometimes all over the country, sometimes out of the country... so basically, he wants his partner to, when she has no PR or anything?

They only have no concerns about my ex because they've never looked into him! He's had them for contact in Wales they're now away from everything they've ever known, no schooling at the moment (judge said to wait), and I can just see where this is going.

Essentially, this comes down to social work doing a really crappy job from the start.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

I can't afford to fight my ex in court since I put my career on hold for my children.. I haven't worked in 8 years since my son is also autistic. I don't qualify for legal aid. This is just so wrong.

[Minnie]

This is very similar to my story with the children's father, he lied and manipulated all the way through the care proceedings to discredit me and worked with the social worker to do this. By the time we got to court, I had been entirely discredit and the recommendations were for the children to go to the children's father. My contact with the girls has been severely restricted due to been seen to destabilising the placement with their dad. He is extremely narcisstic, he put all his faults onto me. I'm about to return to court to get a contact arrangement order to sort out my contact with the girls. The girls are asking to see me more and that they want me. He is domestically abusive and continues to be so, we separated over 4 years because of his behaviour.

[Mamof2]

To update,

I went back to court where the judge ordered the return of the children to my care.

Social work are not going to PLO, it will stay as CPP.

But there was mention of a section 37 being done for the court for these private proceedings, what is this?

[Minnie]

section 37 is as part of the proceedings whether a care order or supervision order is needed

[Mamof2]

Care order meaning to take the children out of mine AND dads care? Or... ?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mamof2

Thank you for your updating post. I see that you joined the discussion form sometime ago but have only just posted. Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents' Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group

I am pleased to see that the court has ordered that your children should return to your care.

As Minnie suggested in her response to your post, it is correct that the purpose of a section 37 report is for the local authority to consider whether they should apply for a care or supervision order; whether they need to provide support or services to the children of the family or what other action they might need to take.

The social worker preparing the report will speak to you, the children (as appropriate to their ages) and also with the children’s father.
If the judge considers that there are issues which are adversely impacting the children, often because of the relationship between parents then will sometimes ask for a section 37 report in addition to the section 7 report. The section 37 report can take a long time to prepare and when it is provided to the court will depend on how urgent the judge considers the situation to be.

My suggestion is that you engage fully and cooperate with the investigation being carried out by the social worker for the section 37 report.

You may be able to get help and advice from the Coram Children’s Legal Centre (Child Law) on 0300 330 5480, as they provide advice on private law matters.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Mamof2]

Thanks for replying suzie.

I'm fully willing to cooperate with the LA to ensure my children are happy, healthy and safe.

I will give them a call, thanks for the info