what should you tell your children?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear worriedmum81

Thank you for your further post.

If you feel that the report does not correctly reflect what was discussed at the meeting, then it would be completely right for you to speak with the person who chaired the meeting to say you do not think it is a true reflection of what was actually said. The best way might be to write out what you recall being said so it can be looked at again. If the report cannot be amended ask for your comments to be added to the minutes/report on the case file.

Increased contact is important especially where there is a hope that a parent can have children returned to their care. In such circumstances good regular contact can be play a significant part in the reunification procedure. I note that in another post you state that you are thinking about whether applying to the court for a discharge of the care order would be a good thing or not. Only you can make that decision. Please see our advice sheet about this here.

Unless subsequent meetings decided otherwise, then there is no reason why you cannot ask for children services to do what it was stated they would. My suggestion is that you write a letter to the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) to explain that you would like to move to unsupervised contact. If this is said not to be possible then ask for a written response to clarify the reasons for refusing. Since you have a report stating the recommendation you can point this out in the report to the social worker and the IRO.

It is always open to you to consider a formal complaint if the responses you receive are not satisfactory. A copy of our advice sheet relating to complaints will give you more information.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please do telephone our free advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[worriedmum81]

Just a little update. As im sure i may have mentioned in previous posts, the social workers have decided now that my elder daughter does not want unsupervised contact (this is completely against what she has always said to myself and to the workers in the contact centre, where dhe has been asking when she can see me alone). Therefore the social worker has decided we are not going to start the unsupervised contact. However there has been a decision that we can talk on the phone once per month, on loudspeaker so we can be monitored by the carers. After complaining to the review officer and having my complaint upheld, the social worker clearly wasnt happy with me, and in a veiled threat of "most people dont get as many contacts as you do" and now after questioning the other social worker, who admitted they are reviewing and may reduce contact aa my younger daughter "gets unsettled and continues to ask for me and her siblings for several days".
I had a conversation with the social worker who i have a good relationship with. She half admitted that they have made mistakes, for example the dbs for my partner hasnt been sorted or chased up, and we both know it doesnt take 6 months to conplete one. But on the bright side, even though not being allowed my partner at the xmas dinner really upset us all, (we didnt tell my son, when he asked for him we said he isnt well), im looking forward to the new year. I told the social worker that we are applying for a bigger home, the dbs check should be complete and I said I want to call a family conference to discuss what issues we face if my kids were to come home, or visit part time. The social worker said it is something she will keep in mind as we make plans. So fingers crossed.