Help advice needed

[Queenbee85]

Hey everyone so my story isn't easy for me to share but am in a situation I need help with so here I go
About 10 years years ago I had daughter and my partner at the time was looking after her as I went to town to run a get some shopping she wasn't well that day and he looked after before with no problems that day I got a call saying my daughter was taken to hospital when I got there she had bruises all over her back and burns to her leg and I was told she fell down the stairs but S'S took her and placed her in foster care I fought for her but they said she had unexplainable injuries and as I was going to court to fight to get her back I found out I was about 6 months pregnant I didn't want to child within 2 weeks I went into labour because of all the stress I was under I no this must sound awful but I didn't want my son as his father hurt my daughter and was the cause of losing her and he was taken off me from birth because there was safeguarding issues because of the case I was going through with my daughter so in the end I lost both my children and they was placed for adoption 8 years ago I went to court to make sure the guy got sent down he got 2 years and that's the day in court I heard what he actually did to her he burned her so I left that town made a fresh start where no one knows my past I actually change my last name too and 8 years on am in a really good place I had with my now partner 2 years and we are in a great place he doesn't know about what happened in my past other than its bad and he trusts me to tell him when am ready but my problem is I've just found out am 7 weeks pregnant and am scared what is going to happen can someone advice me what would happen to my unborn baby as I don't no what to do thank you for reading my story my life I know this must be hard for some people to read but I need advice on what would likely to happen to me and my unborn baby please many thanks in advance x

[Anna56]

Im sure someone with more information will be along soon but i think when you give your family history to the midwife at your first appointment its her duty to inform social services ??

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Queenbee85

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are feeling so worried about your pregnancy rather than enjoying being an expectant mother. I can understand that you are so concerned because of what happened in the past.

You had a difficult time having to deal with losing your children and as a result decided to make significant changes to your life. Although you have changed your name and have had no further involvement with children services in the last 8 years, there is likely to be a concern about your pregnancy. When you meet your midwife and give details of your background she is likely to say she has to make a referral to children services. However, this does not mean you will be in the same position as before.

Do you have any contact with your adopted children such as letterbox contact? Was children services made aware of the changes you intended to make in your life?

You do not say in your post what the concern was about you in the care proceedings. Your partner caused harm to your daughter so the reason you could not keep her is going to be important. If there were suggestions as to work you could do for example, counselling or therapy, did you do this?

If a referral is made, children service will look at your situation as it is now. It may be that they have no concerns at all and take no further action. However, as the children were removed from your care and your daughter had unexplained injuries, this might mean that they want to carry out an assessment to make sure your child will be safe. Children services will not become involved early in your pregnancy if a referral is made, usually not until 20 weeks or later. Their involvement may include pre-birth planning if they do have concerns.

Please read our frequently asked questions (FAQ) relating to what happens if children were removed in the past. The link is here for your information.

I have also included here advice sheets relating to family support and child protection procedures which will give you more information and help you with the worries you have at the moment.

I think you can feel reassured by the fact that you ensured that the person who harmed your daughter was brought to justice, that you have turned your life around and in a supportive relationship. Children services has to take account of all these factors if they decide to carry out an assessment. Your partner will be an important part of the assessment so it might be helpful if you feel able to share more information with him if children services do become involved.

You may wish to speak to an adviser and, if so, please telephone our free, confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Queenbee85]

Dear suzie
Hey there thanks for getting back to me and they said there was safeguarding issues and because of how it went I became depressed in the 8 years I have tried to do the letter box writing but unfortunately I have had no reply to this so I have been keeping the letters and I have seek help for the depressed I had 2 months counselling and they discharge me as they was no further treatment needed so I don't no what that now means for me many thanks for getting back to me
P.s I have told my partner he said he will stand by me in whatever I need and I also contacted the social services and they can't help me until am 16 weeks but they said if I have had help and no longer with the person I shouldn't have they involvement but I don't think I believe them 100% many thanks again x