Am I unfit to supervise access?

[BarryT]

My brother was convicted of a low-level internet offence. Part of his sentence included supervised access to his 9 year old daughter. As you can imagine, relations with the child's mother are rather frosty so I act as supervisor which was Okd by SS who gave me a pep talk about signs of spotting sexual abuse. I kept my counsel rather than arguing with them. Anyway my supervision status has been withdrawn while I am reassessed.
Two crimes have been committed:
1) I left my brother alone in the car outside with his daughter while I went back into the house for a couple of minutes to look for something. This was reported by one of the lovely neighbours.
2) While I supervised a visit to his daughter's house - mum was not there - he went upstairs to put up a new clock he had bought her while she helped him. I think this came about because the girl was asked if she was ever alone with her dad.
As a result of this there is now no contact.
Does supervision literally mean by his side within a few feet? SS have never answered it satisfactorily - it seems to be their interpretation.
They are treating him as if he is a serious child abuser and rapist not a fool who had half a dozen non nude images of teenagers on his computer.
Any help gratefully received.

[Boobop16]

I'm afraid that yes it does mean he must not be unsupervised". That means they should never have been out of clear sight. It's difficult because in the normal course of things you wouldn't think twice, but this is not a normal situation. I suspect that CS think that if you left them unsupervised in these situations there will be a gradual creep to more prolonged unsupervised contact. Abuse can take only seconds as well. As far as CS are concerned you have failed to maintain supervision and you will have a hard job convincing them otherwise. I'm sure Suzie will be along shortly with better advice but I think you have shot yourselves in the foot. Did he not think these situations would place contact in jeopardy? Sorry to sound so negative.

[BarryT]

Yes but surely there must be an element of common sense not hysteria? My brother has never abused anyone. Why would he start now after being alone with his daughter for a few minutes? I take on board what you are saying about sticking strictly to the rules though. In any event, the chief law lord has advised in no uncertain terms that non contact offenders should not be treated the same as contact offenders when it comes to supervision. Not much sign of that happening anytime soon. The approach of SS does seem to be to prevent access if at all possible and how can that be good for the child? I assume they are 'God' when it comes to these matters.

[Boobop16]

I'm afraid they think they are. Ask for supervised contact by someone else or at a centre or is there another family member and you can supervise together. I'm new to all this but they took my 16 year old because I slapped her after she punched me in the eye breaking my glasses and giving me a black eye.

[chrissy]

It is case of thinking ahead for every thing all the time, even if child goes for a drink in the kitchen your brother would not be allowed in there unless supervised. I've done a course on it, I thought it would be common sense but it really opened my eyes to a lot that you wouldn't normally think about. Even down to greeting the child it should be quick hug and kiss on head or cheek. It's a lot to take in, but it as to be done. Even babies have to be held in certain way. Never on knee but sat at the side. May be you could sit with the sw and have discussion with them, say how you didn't realise the little things but say how you are willing to step up and see from there point of view how it needs to be done. There could be lots of quality contact if every one is on same line.
I'm sure you don't think your brother could ever do any thing to his daughter but you have to think and act as though he is a risk, hard I know but for his daughter to be able to see him it would be better.
Sorry your in this situation. I've only just got hour and half unsupervised after 2 years, it's hard.
Chrissy

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear BarryT

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I can see from your post that you feel frustrated by the fact that your position as supervisor for your brother’s contact has been withdrawn by children services.

In your post you state that your brother was convicted of a ‘low level’ internet offence, I do not think children services will be looking at the situation on the basis of it being low level or not. As far as they are concerned your brother is a convicted sex offender and they are required to safeguard your niece from risk of harm. Although I do understand that you do not think he poses a risk to his daughter. Additionally, the court considered it important that his contact should be supervised.

As Chrissy has posted in response that supervision means continuous supervision and this is from experience. I suggest you consider the safeguarding issues even though you think that your brother was simply a fool for engaging in the particular activity he did, it was sufficiently serious for him to be charged and subsequently convicted. The worry is that no one knows what is likely to happen so children services is erring on the side of caution.

It might be helpful as suggested by boobop16 in the response that some other family member could be considered to assist with supervision might be away to prevent your niece being with her father alone during contact.

I have included a link here to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation as they might be able to give you and your brother more advice relating to the nature of his offence.

My suggestion is that you try work with children services in the further assessment being carried out. Contact is for the benefit of your niece and it would difficult for her if contact is stopped long term as it seems she does want contact with her father.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please feel free to telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

Hope this is helpful

Best wishes

Suzie