I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

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Mysocalledlife
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:02 am

I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Mysocalledlife » Fri Oct 05, 2018 10:55 pm

Hi someone please help me,
My partner is on the sor for downloading indecent 19 images on the same day category c which I believe to be lowest cat or something, so not naked etc. I’ve know him for over 10 years and it was a complete shock for both of us but because the duty solicitor advised him to plead guilty he did. The social worker came to visit me about 10 weeks or so ago and said that she didn’t believe there was any risk to baby and said the case was going to be closed. I received phone call today from a different lady saying they want to see us both as the case is now going to children conference case, I’ve been told no more & I feel so upset & scared that my baby will be taken away. There’s also another issue with me that happened years ago after an illness, I suffer with depression, I got drunk one night and was arrested, the policeman said I’d bit him but then changed the story to a scratch and I was convicted. So I feel so distraught, that my mistake is going to affect me from being a parent. Please can someone advise me what to do? And what to expect? Thanks

Mysocalledlife
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:02 am

Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Mysocalledlife » Sun Oct 07, 2018 3:57 pm

Can someone please offer any help?

Miserylovescompany2
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:55 pm

Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Sun Oct 07, 2018 7:31 pm

Hello

I would go into this with an open mind - find out what their concerns are? If you are asked to sign anything? Do not. Seek legal advice. I wouldn't volunteer information regarding your own conviction unless they bring this up. I would imagine this is to do with your partner being on the SOR. Another SW could of decided a previous decision was wrong? I am only guessing.

What I would advise is that you don't make excuses for your partner as this would be a red flag to CS.

Good luck.

Mysocalledlife
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:02 am

Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Mysocalledlife » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:51 am

Thank you for reply.
The SW gave us both a report yesterday and we have to have a conference on Friday. I’m so upset & worried. They are now worried about my depression, misuse of alcohol & violence, this was a one off and I’m in a much better place now. I don’t drink anymore to extream as I know it don’t agree me. Is my baby likely to be put on child protection plan now? Any information appreciated thanks

Mysocalledlife
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:02 am

Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Mysocalledlife » Wed Oct 10, 2018 9:52 am

Thank you for reply.
The SW gave us both a report yesterday and we have to have a conference on Friday. I’m so upset & worried. They are now worried about my depression, misuse of alcohol & violence, this was a one off and I’m in a much better place now. I don’t drink anymore to extream as I know it don’t agree me. Is my baby likely to be put on child protection plan now? Any information appreciated thanks

Miserylovescompany2
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:55 pm

Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:26 am

Hello again,

If I am being honest any drinking of alcohol whilst pregnant will not be looked upon in a positive way. My advice would be to stop drinking and offer to be tested. If this goes to CPP your previous conviction will be read out. I would advice you show remorse and place emphasis on how your HM has improved since this time. You could be asked to consent to CS looking into your medical history. If you declined this would look as if you were hiding/withholding information.

I would ask why are they stating they are concerned - then make them aware that you have not needed to seek any form of MH intervention. Make sure you highlight that you've attended all of your prenatal appointments.

They have one historic incident that is factual. The other bits are not facts, they are speculative. Your partner is on the SOR - don't play this one down.

If CS decide to proceed with a CPP - make sure you get yourself a solicitor ASAP! I won't lie...this could potentially go further! Make sure you address any concerns prior to baby being born. It is very important that you cooperate with them at this stage. Do whatever you need to do to satisfy their concerns.

Do you have a support system? Family or friends - you could take someone with you to provide moral support. I would also ask the social worker about advocacy support! You could also look to see what is available in your local area. They can help and support you to get your point of view across.

Mysocalledlife
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 12:02 am

Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Mysocalledlife » Wed Oct 10, 2018 6:01 pm

Thank you for your advice.

I haven’t drunk alcohol in my pregnancy. The incident I mention took place a long time ago.

When the SW first came to visit me I signed documents for them to obtain my medical reports etc as I have nothing to hide. Yes I’ve been drunk & disorderly. Yes I have depression but from an illness which occurred in 2012 when I nearly died & I have now recovered from.

I understand that my partner is on the SOR and I will not play it down, I will tell them that I understand the potential risks to unborn baby but will do my utmost best to ensure nothing happens to baby.

I will try to contact some people as the conference is this Friday and hasn’t left us much time.

Thank you

Miserylovescompany2
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:55 pm

Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Wed Oct 10, 2018 7:22 pm

They never give you sufficient time. If CPP is agreed it will because the people invited to the conference have agreed. These meetings are harsh.

If there are any mistakes in the report SW has written. Make sure you highlight them. You should be given the opportunity to meet with the allocated IRO (independent reviewing officer) prior to the conference. Make sure they are aware of any mistakes. The IRO plays an important role. They are there to make sure the SW does their job properly. The IRO has more say than the SW. You need them on your side.

I had no idea what to expect prior to my 3 children been placed on one. The system still makes no sense. One size fits all. Each family given a category of harm. For my children it was physically harm. I have never harmed my children. Two have Autism. The harm was to each other.

If you haven't already? Ask for the SW and SW managers contact details. Also ask for the name of the higher manager. Ideally you want to get email addresses. Ask whilst still at the conference so it is done in front of others. Make sure any concerns are in writing.

I hope Friday goes well. Good luck.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: I’m 31 weeks pregnant & just had phone call from social services

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Oct 12, 2018 5:39 pm

Mysocalledlife wrote:Hi someone please help me,
My partner is on the sor for downloading indecent 19 images on the same day category c which I believe to be lowest cat or something, so not naked etc. I’ve know him for over 10 years and it was a complete shock for both of us but because the duty solicitor advised him to plead guilty he did. The social worker came to visit me about 10 weeks or so ago and said that she didn’t believe there was any risk to baby and said the case was going to be closed. I received phone call today from a different lady saying they want to see us both as the case is now going to children conference case, I’ve been told no more & I feel so upset & scared that my baby will be taken away. There’s also another issue with me that happened years ago after an illness, I suffer with depression, I got drunk one night and was arrested, the policeman said I’d bit him but then changed the story to a scratch and I was convicted. So I feel so distraught, that my mistake is going to affect me from being a parent. Please can someone advise me what to do? And what to expect? Thanks
Dear Mysocalledlife

Thank you for your post.

It seems that you are really worried about children’s services involvement as a result of your partner being on the sex offenders register as well as your own history. You are in the late stages of your pregnancy and concerned what it will mean for you and your baby.

You say that the social worker who was allocated to your case informed you that she did not think there was a risk and would be closing the case. Subsequently, you received a call from a different person informing you that the case was going to an initial child protection conference.

The social worker gave you information a she may have believed the situation to be but I am supposing that her manager did not agree the case should be closed.

In the majority of cases before a matter goes to an initial child protection conference there would be child protection enquiries under s47 of the Children Act. When children’s services receive a referral they usually make a decision about the action to be taken and will meet with the family. At that stage the family should be informed what assessment is going to be carried out. The social worker should have informed you what assessment she was doing. Did this happen?

Please see our advice sheets relating to Child protection procedures and Family support which gives details about the kind of assessments that can be carried out by children's services..

As you are due to go to a child protection conference you may wish to view the films on our website which shows what happens in a conference.

Provided your mental health is stable and you are engaging with mental health services if you need to, having a mental health diagnosis is not a reason in itself why you would not be able to look after your baby. Children’s services will assess you as you are now.

The issue of your conviction will be part of the history that children’s services will take into account but I do not think it will be deciding factor but the issue the level of risk your partner may pose will be of concern to children’s services. They may want you both to do courses and for you to be a protective parent. You could make contact with Parents Protect more for information. Children's services may also want to carry out a risk assessment and you can suggest this since you wish to remain with your partner.

Should you wish to speak more about your situation to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

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