My boyfriend needs help

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Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2018 9:46 pm

My boyfriend needs help

Post by ShadowHunter65 » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:09 pm

So He has a daughter from a previous relationship. The mother is making it difficult for him to see his daughter. She refuses to tell us where she lives. We also know for a fact, that after the two split, the daughter went to live with my boyfriend. But the mothers mum, broke into the house and took the daughter away. She then called the police on my boyfriend to get him out of the way, they saw he had defensive wounds and let him go.
Now the mother is being difficult. She keeps saying that social services did a background check and that it says my boyfriend has been arrested for domestic violence and assault, which isn't true. We have witnesses to these events and can confirm them. She's also demanding money, when according to everyone, she said she didn't want his money and would care for the daughter alone. My boyfriend and the mother were 17 at the time.
What do we do when the mother keeps telling lies?

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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: My boyfriend needs help

Post by Kami2018 » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:37 pm

I would firstly seek legal advice on this matter being wrongly accused couldn't be nice and I'd for sure seek legal advice about that and also about his parental rights the family courts don't take kindly to any parent keep a child away from the other parent it's not tolerated anymore unless there evidence of the parent posing a risk and he should also phone children's services to ask them for information on what his ex partner has stated they have said regarding him as it's against the law for them to do so if it is false n fabricated

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: My boyfriend needs help

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Sep 24, 2018 1:56 pm

Dear ShadowHunter65

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

From your post it is clear that you are concerned for your boyfriend regarding contact with his daughter and her mother’s behaviour in making things difficult.

Your boyfriend need to know whether or not he has parental responsibility for his daughter. He will have this if he is named on her birth certificate or entered into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother. Please see our advice sheet relating to Parental Responsibility.

If there are no arrangements for contact then your boyfriend will have to consider whether he wishes to go to court for an order to allow him to have contact with his daughter. He can apply to the court even if he does not know her address. The court can make orders about her address being disclosed to the court.

Regarding the alleged disclosure about him being arrested for domestic violence (DV), he can ask the police for a print out of information they hold about him. If he was arrested but not charged it is still likely to be noted on his records. Children’s services would have asked his permission to carry out checks; why were children’s services involved and needed to carry out checks in the first place. If your boyfriend has parental responsibility and children’s services has safeguarding concerns about his daughter he should be informed. I have included a link here which provides information for fathers.

The mother does not really have to say where she is living if she is fearful because of domestic abuse. You mention that your boyfriend was 17 at the time but you do not say how much time has passed. Since your boyfriend does not know where the mother is now, does she make contact with him to demand money? She could go through the Child Maintenance Service for him to pay towards his child.

It is not possible for me to say how the mother can be stopped telling ‘lies’. If he takes the matter to court then what she has to say will be considered by the court to ascertain whether there is any truth what she says.

Since the issue relates to contact it does not fall within the remit of our service. I suggest your boyfriend contact Coram Children’s Legal Centre (Child Law Advice) on 0300 330 5480. They can give advice about making an application to the court for a child arrangement order for contact. Advice will only be given if a solicitor is not already advising your boyfriend.

Hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


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